A Banner Day

This afternoon could not have been better. After a long exhausting few weeks of work, I got good news in spades. What a wonderful way to end a week before I go spend a few days in West Texas with family! First, my agency shared the news that they are "highly confident" based on all indications from the Guatemalan government, U.S. Department of State, U.S. Department of Homeland Security, U.S. Congress and UNICEF (all the players in intercountry adoptions) that Guatemalan adoption cases currently in-process will proceed to finalization under the current laws in effect when my adoption was started. There is a strong desire amongst all parties to get a clearly defined process (by which in-process cases may be completed) within the coming days. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I can focus on the "good stuff" full time now without worrying about all the things out of my control. I am practically giddy, and I don't really do giddy much.

Then, I got new pictures of Abby. Wow, what a doll! Don't take my word for it..see for yourself.

I also found out that Abby will be going to a new foster mom in the next few days. Because Guatemalan adoptions slowed down when my agency stopped taking referrals, one of the foster mothers with the most experience that my agency really says is great had an opening. I really appreciate what her foster mother for the last few months has done for Abby, and I hope Abby makes the adjustment without too many issues. I trust my agency, and if they believe Abby can benefit more by going to a new foster mother, that is fine with me.

Good News on December 11th...I Hope!

All of the families with adoptions pending in Guatemala have been on pins and needles waiting for the new Guatemalan Adoption Law to be passed by the Guatemalan Congress. This legislation was necessary for Guatemala to comply with The Hague Convention on InterCountry Adoption which is an international treaty that governs intercountry adoptions. Not all countries have to abide by it (For example, Ethiopia does not), but if you do choose to, you have to set up laws in your country that are consistent with the Hague. There are a lot of different opinions on whether The Hague is good for children or not. I am not an expert by any means, but my opinion is that it has not done a good job protecting children around the world. I do not think it will be positive for future children from Guatemala. The main objection I have is that it is so ethno-centric. It is built on the fundamental belief that all children should be raised by parents from the same ethnic background where at all possible. That fundamental pillar translates into country specific laws that will discourage intercountry adoptions. When 75% of a country's citizens are living at or below poverty like in Guatemala, I think it is naiive and unrealistic to think that there is a large supply of Guatemalan families that can adopt children. I worry about where the children will go if Guatemala does not provide adequate foster/orphanage care for children in need. Today, the foster care system is totally private and not supported by the government at all.

Finally, on December 11, the new Guatemalan Adoption Law was approved by the Guatemalan Congress. What does this mean for me and my adoption of Abby specifically? It still depends on how "in process" cases are defined. But, I am very optimistic that I am far enough along in the process to be considered "in process" under any scenario. All that is required is that my case will need to be registered with the Central Authority in Guatemala by January 30th in order to continue under the laws in effect at the time they were started. My adoption is one of 50+ cases that my agency has in process in Guatemala, and they believe that ALL of us will be allowed to continue our adoption under the old rules.

Bottom line - I have mixed feelings. I think the law will slow or stop intercountry adoptions from Guatemala in the future, but the law may allow me to bring Abby home in 2008. For that reason alone, December 11th was a very good day. Emotions are still up and down because there are always questions about what something means, and it takes weeks/months to get answers, but all in all, I feel much more confident that things are going to work out.

Abby At 9 1/2 Weeks

Ever since I got the first pictures and DVD of Abby in October, my mind and heart have gone into overdrive. I feel like I have so much to do and I haven't even really begun. I get overwhelmed and excited all at the same time. I have tried to stay on an even keel while the legal issues surrounding Guatemalan adoptions plays out. There always seems to be good news followed by bad news concerning whether or not Guatemala was going to pass a new law that dealt with adoptions in process in a fair and just manner. We all knew that the new adoption law would be passed, and while many experts think the new law will not be good for Guatemalan children going forward, it is difficult for me to focus on the big picture. I am selfish. While it will be a travesty if Guatemalan children are not afforded a good chance at a healthy and happy life if they are abandoned or relinquished by their birth parents, my single concern is making sure my adoption of Abby proceeds even when the new law is passed. As long as the new law provides that my adoption will finish and I will bring Abby home, I will be OK.

I grow more attached after my 1,000 viewing of my solitary DVD. I know that another DVD will be coming in November, but it can't get here soon enough. I tell myself not to buy too many things for Abby yet since I don't know what size she will be when I bring her home, but remembering how big all her clothes are on her in the pictures and DVD convinces me to go get her some clothes and send them to her foster mother. I go to Old Navy and get her about 7 outfits and send them to another family who is traveling to Guatemala the next week to pick up their baby (I am so jealous). My agency allows us to send a few items that can fit in a gallon ziplock bag which will be dropped off with agency staff to deliver to Abby's foster mom at the next staff visit.

The November pictures look great. Here they are:

A week later, I get the DVD, and as usual, my life shuts down while I view it over and over. Abby is about 2 lbs bigger and is very alert. She appears very healthy and is doing a great job of lifting her neck up and looking around. I think she is going to be a very curious kid. I hope so.

Abby At One Month

One of the things that you have to come to terms with very quickly when adopting from another country is that you may not get all your questions answered. It is difficult to get comfortable with the not knowing. I am a very curious person by nature, and when it comes to Abby, I want to know everything I can about her and her background so that I can share it with her one day on her terms. I know that there will be times as she grows up that she will want to know things that I won't be able to answer about her birth parents and her cultural background. What I do know, first and foremost, is that I am grateful to her birth mother. I don't know the particular circumstances of why Abby was placed for adoption, but I know giving up a child for adoption is one of the most courageous and selfless acts a person can do if that person does not have the ability to raise a child in a healthy and happy environment because of their particular circumstances. I know that someone, Abby's birth mother, had to experience loss for me to be Abby's mom, and, for that, I will be eternally grateful to her birth mother. I don't have any information on Abby's birth father at all. I know this will be painful for Abby later, and that makes me sad to think about. Abby's birth mother is from a small town called Solola about 80 miles west of Guatemala City. It is located in the western highlands of Guatemala on the mountainside near Lake Atitlan. The majority of the population of Solola is made up of Kaqchikel Mayans, and the culture reflects a mixture of both Mayan and Spanish influences. I generally eschew labels, but I love the fact that Abby is Mayan. My hope is that she will be interested someday in learning about this wonderful culture and these wonderful peoples.



I am a big reader, and my adoption journey has added the usual suspects to my reading list - general parenting books, adoption parenting books, transracial adoption parenting books, etc. I am also trying to brush up on my high school Spanish so that I can communicate with Abby's foster mother when I go to Guatemala. I wrote the foster mother a letter when I sent Abby a package of clothes and used the Google translator feature. I really hope I told her how much I appreciated her taking care of Abby and not that I wanted to be her study partner in the library. You never know about those translator programs...but hopefully, she appreciated the effort and could understand it! I am reading a few books on Guatemalan history as well so I can be more educated about the beautiful country of Guatemala. I doubt Abby will ask me about the 36 year civil war right away, but you can be sure that if she does ask, I'll have some rudimentary knowledge of it. I feel it is an obligation for me to educate myself as much as possible, and I love to learn. This just gives me a great excuse to learn about something I know very little about. Once Abby gets here, it will be hard to spend time on this kind of thing, so I am trying to take advantage of the waiting time I have now to be "productive".

All the baby preparation takes a back seat anytime I get new pictures or a DVD of Abby. When I get them, it makes my whole day. My adoption agency has staff that work in Guatemala, and they visit the children that are in foster care so that they can see how the kids are doing, take pictures, interview the foster mother, etc. They then provide the pictures and a written snapshot of Abby's past month. The first report I got was when Abby was one month.

The report details her daily routine - when she eats, sleeps, and poops - along with an update on her developmental and physical milestones. The pictures and DVD are wonderful. I got the first smile at one month and I got to listen to her make noise and roll over. It might not sound like much, but to get any glimpse into her day while we are apart is a wonderful gift for me, and I love ever minute of it! Her foster mother, Sharon (she is in the pictures holding Abby), described Abby as a very small sweet baby who is very good and does not cry much. Sounds like a keeper to me!

The Best Day...So Far.

Well, the dark cloud looming had a silver lining. Just as I was trying to come to terms with the fact that my adoption could be in a perpetual state of limbo, On 9/29/07, I got the call I had been waiting for for two months since I got on the waiting list. Yes, THAT CALL. My caseworker called me and said she had a beautiful baby girl that she was going to refer to me. She would be sending me pictures and medical information in the next few hours!! I couldn't log on to my computer fast enough as I spent the next few hours clicking "REFRESH" at least three thousand times. Finally, I got the pictures, opened them up and all of the stress immediately drained from my body. I never believed in love at first sight before, but in that split second, I became a believer. She was a tiny, beautiful, healthy looking 3.5 weeks old baby girl!

I shed a few tears of joy and started calling all of my friends and family immediately. This was the best news I had ever shared with anyone and I couldn't wait for everyone to see how adorable she was! I had already settled on a first name for her - Abby - but in Guatemala, the birth mother names the a baby and that is the name she goes by throughout the adoption process and in the Guatemalan court system. Her birth mother named her Maria Elena and she was born in Guatemala City, Guatemala at a maternity home on September 2, 2007. She was 5 lbs 8 0z and 18.5 inches long. She was turned over to foster care about 3 weeks later, and she began being cared for by a loving, young single foster mother named Sharon. Abby's foster mother lives with her parents and two sisters and cares for 4 children total. I was 99.9% sure I was going to accept the referral because Abby was exactly what I had dreamed of. She was perfect! I sent off her pictures and her medical information to a pediatrician who specializes in reviewing medical information from other countries and sent my Power of Attorney to be authenticated. The Power of Attorney (POA) is given to a Guatemalan attorney who actually handles my case for me in Guatemala and is hired by my adoption agency. A few weeks later, I accepted the referral, and by October 30, 2007, my POA was registered in Guatemalan court.

My agency spent a lot of time explaining the increased risk of accepting a referral since we were not positive what would happen if Guatemalan adoptions shut down on 12/31/07. We knew my adoption was months and months away from being complete (expected late summer, 2008), and we didn't know what would happen to everyone in process in the absence of any new law specifically mentioning how "in process" cases would be handled. I didn't think twice about the increased risk once I saw Abby's pictures. My heart was either going to be broken or it wasn't, but I wasn't going to end my adoption journey because of money, time or other factors. This may not be the right decision for everyone in a similar situation, but for me, it was a no-brainer once I saw her. She was real and I wasn't turning my back on her. I felt like it was my first big test of motherhood. I loved her and I wasn't letting go.

The Roller Coaster Ride Begins But Will It End?

I decided to adopt a baby girl from Guatemala and began the process with an adoption agency March, 2007. Guatemala seemed like a great fit for a lot of reasons - babies are usually a bit younger than from other countries when the adoption is finalized, babies are placed in foster care instead of orphanages for the most part, close proximity to Texas, and the ease which I thought I could introduce and maintain a sense of cultural pride for my daughter. While the paperwork was mind boggling, this is the easy part of the process. This is the only part of the process I could control. So, I did all the paperwork at break neck speed. I wanted to get everything done - my home study, my dossier, background checks, fingerprinting, etc. - as quickly as possible so I could get on the waiting list for a baby girl. My agency would not put me on the waiting list until the dossier was completed, and that couldn't be completed until my home study was approved and the US Government (CIS 171 approval) gave me the thumbs up. Yes, you need to be very organized, but if you can stay on top of it, it is manageable. I also hired a dossier authentication service (KBS Dossiers) which was WORTH EVERY PENNY, and I highly recommend it for anyone who needs paperwork authenticated for intercountry adoptions. I felt like I was racing against the clock. My agency was very upfront about the possible changes in Guatemalan law that might impact adoptions. They always believed that as long as my adoption was "in process" at the time the law changed, it would still proceed. But then, in late September, the US State Department issued an ominous warning stating that as of 12/31/07, Guatemalan adoptions might not continue adding fuel to the fire. My cautious, cyncial side kept rearing its ugly head. What does "in process mean"? Do you mean to tell me that I have to rely on the US State Department (The US central authority for intercountry adoptions) to protect my best interests and that of my daughther-to-be? You must be kidding. This can't be. Surely, you jest. Nope, it was true, my adoption could be impacted by the agendas of the US Government, Guatemalan government, UNICEF, and a cast of other international actors with a voice in intercountry adoptions. My emotions were all over the place - anger, denial, shock, outrage, fear, betrayal. I felt betrayed most of all by my own government who approved my petition to adopt from Guatemala just a few months before this warning. It became clearer to me that my government didn't really care about whether my adoption along with the approximately 4,000 others in process at the time ever actually were completed. I didn't think they really cared whether we brought home our children or not. I took some comfort in words read on guatadopt.com along with statements from my agency. They both were optimistic that "in process" cases would be grandfathered in regardless of the new Guatemalan adoption law. This is what I had to cling to. A few trusted sources best guesses on what would happen. But, it was hope and it was all I had.

My Decision To Adopt

The last thing I ever thought I would be doing was chronicling my adoption journey, but here I am, trying to make sense of the things that have happened over the past few months. I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. I was born in Atlanta in 1967..ok, I won't start that far back....

Like a lot of girls, I always knew I wanted to be a mom. That is about all I knew for sure. I never had visions of a wedding or being pregnant but I knew I would be a mom someday. Never was that belief tested so much as it has been over the past few years. The conventional approach - marriage and trying to have a baby - was not an option for me. I was single, nearing 40, and had "fertility issues". Where have you heard this story before? I know it sounds like a bad afterschool special, but the cliche was true in my case. My biological clock was ticking loudly and then ran out of batteries. Yes, I was sad for a few months when I realized that I was most likely not going to every carry a baby and have a baby biologically. I was sad because I took my fertility for granted and then felt like my body failed me. It failed me big time. But, like all difficult things in life, there was a positive to all this. It reinforced my desire to be a mother, no matter what. I started exploring adoption options, and I got really excited. I got excited because I knew I would be a mom. I knew it would take longer, but eventually, I would be a mom. That is all that mattered. I began contacting adoption agencies and looking at my options specifically to adopt internationally.