Abby At One Month

One of the things that you have to come to terms with very quickly when adopting from another country is that you may not get all your questions answered. It is difficult to get comfortable with the not knowing. I am a very curious person by nature, and when it comes to Abby, I want to know everything I can about her and her background so that I can share it with her one day on her terms. I know that there will be times as she grows up that she will want to know things that I won't be able to answer about her birth parents and her cultural background. What I do know, first and foremost, is that I am grateful to her birth mother. I don't know the particular circumstances of why Abby was placed for adoption, but I know giving up a child for adoption is one of the most courageous and selfless acts a person can do if that person does not have the ability to raise a child in a healthy and happy environment because of their particular circumstances. I know that someone, Abby's birth mother, had to experience loss for me to be Abby's mom, and, for that, I will be eternally grateful to her birth mother. I don't have any information on Abby's birth father at all. I know this will be painful for Abby later, and that makes me sad to think about. Abby's birth mother is from a small town called Solola about 80 miles west of Guatemala City. It is located in the western highlands of Guatemala on the mountainside near Lake Atitlan. The majority of the population of Solola is made up of Kaqchikel Mayans, and the culture reflects a mixture of both Mayan and Spanish influences. I generally eschew labels, but I love the fact that Abby is Mayan. My hope is that she will be interested someday in learning about this wonderful culture and these wonderful peoples.



I am a big reader, and my adoption journey has added the usual suspects to my reading list - general parenting books, adoption parenting books, transracial adoption parenting books, etc. I am also trying to brush up on my high school Spanish so that I can communicate with Abby's foster mother when I go to Guatemala. I wrote the foster mother a letter when I sent Abby a package of clothes and used the Google translator feature. I really hope I told her how much I appreciated her taking care of Abby and not that I wanted to be her study partner in the library. You never know about those translator programs...but hopefully, she appreciated the effort and could understand it! I am reading a few books on Guatemalan history as well so I can be more educated about the beautiful country of Guatemala. I doubt Abby will ask me about the 36 year civil war right away, but you can be sure that if she does ask, I'll have some rudimentary knowledge of it. I feel it is an obligation for me to educate myself as much as possible, and I love to learn. This just gives me a great excuse to learn about something I know very little about. Once Abby gets here, it will be hard to spend time on this kind of thing, so I am trying to take advantage of the waiting time I have now to be "productive".

All the baby preparation takes a back seat anytime I get new pictures or a DVD of Abby. When I get them, it makes my whole day. My adoption agency has staff that work in Guatemala, and they visit the children that are in foster care so that they can see how the kids are doing, take pictures, interview the foster mother, etc. They then provide the pictures and a written snapshot of Abby's past month. The first report I got was when Abby was one month.

The report details her daily routine - when she eats, sleeps, and poops - along with an update on her developmental and physical milestones. The pictures and DVD are wonderful. I got the first smile at one month and I got to listen to her make noise and roll over. It might not sound like much, but to get any glimpse into her day while we are apart is a wonderful gift for me, and I love ever minute of it! Her foster mother, Sharon (she is in the pictures holding Abby), described Abby as a very small sweet baby who is very good and does not cry much. Sounds like a keeper to me!