Circle of Life

Yesterday, we buried my grandmother, and Friday, I will meet my daughter for the first time. What a week. My grandmother died just short of her 95th birthday and lived a long, healthy, and meaningful life. She was passionate and full of life until her heart just gave out. There was no suffering, no long drawn out illness, just a fairly peaceful exit to a life lived to the fullest. The last time I spoke with my grandmother, she told me Abby was beautiful and lucky to have me a a mom. She joked about not making it until her 95th birthday party that we had planned in April. She sounded tired by not depressed, and I am glad I had a recent, meaningful conversation with her before she passed away. I'll never forget her and will have a lot of memories of her to share with Abby one day.

My grandmother's funeral was a reason for the family to come together, and it made me appreciate even more what a great family I really have. I wish we weren't so scattered throughout the country because I really like spending time with them. They are so supportive of me and my adoption of Abby. It was great talking about her especially knowing I would be seeing her in just a few days. I saw my two youngest brothers who I hadn't seen in a few years. They have lived a nomadic lifestyle the past year or so traveling in South America, but they have turned into fine young men, and I am very proud of them.

I am ready for my visit trip. I MIGHT be able to leave the hotel if I get Abby's new revised birth certificate by the weekend with my name on it. Since the Guatemalan portion of my adoption is over with PGN approval, if I get a birth certicate with my name as the mother, legally I can take Abby outside of the hotel within Guatemala. I am not sure I will do it because I need to see if I can manage meeting her basic needs first, but it would be nice to have this option!

I'll post some new pics of the visit trip when I get back next week.

A Little Levity

Just a cute cartoon I found today....

Life is Good

I am still floating. I still can't believe I am out of PGN and that Abby is going to be home this spring, before the weather even gets warm again!! My agency confirmed that my case was registered before the 2/12 deadline, so I am in the home stretch of this entire process. All my focus has been on my upcoming visiti trip in less than two weeks, but now with this news about PGN approval, I have to get ready for my life to turn upside down (it's all good). I spent a few hours at Babies-R-Us today, and that place is quite overwhelming for the new mom-to-be in my opinion. I mean is it really necessary to have a choice of 8 gazillion bottle nipples? Jeez.... The only times I have been in that store before was to buy a gift for a baby shower, and that is not overwhelming at all. You go to the computer, print out your friend's baby registry and go find find the item your friend selected. There is no weighing one type vs. another, no wondering if you are going to make the "wrong" choice because your friend selected it, and all you are doing it picking it up and paying for it. Pretty easy. Not so much when you have to make choices on everything. I avoided most of the big decisions because I only went in to buy a few items for my upcoming trip. I know when I get back, I have to really stock up. Maybe it will be easier now that I have dipped my feet in a bit.

I got some new pics of Abby a few days ago to keep me occupied until I see her on the 29th. Her foster mother, Gloria, really seems to connect with Abby and has her dressed in a girlie-girl outfit.


She looks cute and has really started to fill out with her cute chubby cheeks!

My Water Broke (I Think)

It is probably foolish to try and draw pregnancy analogies to an international adoption, but at a time when I am pretty much speechless, it is the best I can come up with. I found out yesterday that I got approved by PGN!! I feel like my water broke because I got a huge sign that a baby sighting is imminent...I just don't know the exact time...just soon. I am in total shock a day later. PGN is the equivalent of the Guatemalan Attorney General's Office and is supposed to be the last hurdle in Guatemala before I can finalize my adoption at the US Embassy. What is so shocking about this is that I got approved in PGN in 7 weeks!! My agency told me that my case was one of the fastest cases they have had in a long time. The fact that I did not get kicked out at least once like so many other cases do for minor or inconsequential reasons, is just GOOD LUCK. Plain and simple. There is no rhyme or reason to why my case was approved without any kickouts. Wow, what an amazing, thrilling surprise!! I was prepared to be kicked out to have the process start over within PGN at least once, maybe more which would put getting Abby late summer. What this means is that I might be picking up Abby FOR GOOD and taking her home at the end of March when she will only be 7 months old!! That is about 4-5 months earlier than expected!!

Let's be honest. I am not ready. Probably no amout of preparation is going to get me ready, but I will go into overdrive over the next 6 weeks to be as ready as I can be. There are things I just wasn't focusing on because I wasn't expecting to get her so young. This could not be a better problem to have, but it is time to find day care, get that crib set up, and buy all that age appropriate stuff that I didn't think I would be getting for her now. I feel like a mad woman about to jump out of my skin. I have never been so excited for anything, and nothing has really truly prepared me for the wave of emotions that I go through on a daily basis. I can literally cry happy tears just thinking of Abby and her beautiful smile no matter what I was doing 5 seconds before that. If I told you my body was physically aching to hold her, I would be telling you the truth. What a strange yet wonderful feeling it is.

I have to put a * on this PGN approval because there is still one legal issue hanging over my head. When the new law was passed and all "in process" cases like mine were to be grandfathered in under the old laws, there was one stipulation. You had to register your case with the newly created Central Authority, CNA. It seems silly to have to register with the new CNA when my case was filed in PGN before year end 2007, but it seemed like a minor, manageable requirement. Unfortunately, the CNA did not become fully operational until last week, and there are over 2000 cases to get registered by the deadline, today, 2/12. The CNA's original staff was fired because they were appointed by the previous Guatemalan president days before the new president, Colom, took over. Colom appointed his own people, the location of the CNA changed in mid stream, the form to register the cases changed, the CNA didn't have the funding to pay their employees and they didn't have adequate supplies to run the office at full steam. Reports of long lines of attorneys trying to register multiple cases at once were widespread. Many people in the same boat that I am got confirmation from their agencies that they were registered by the deadline today. I did NOT get that confirmation unfortunately, and the lawyer in me is very stressed about this.

My agency is confident that the deadline will be extended. My case was registered at the first CNA office a few weeks ago, but Guatemala is requiring that everyone re-register. The CNA did stay open on the weekends and has showed a willingness to work all the cases, but I wish I could share my agency's optimism that this will work itself out. I have to believe that because the alternative is too scary and painful. I am also hopeful that my PGN approval would effectively render this registration moot since the PGN is supposed to be the final authority on the Guatemalan side.

I am still going on my visit trip on the 28th even with this new development. If everything works out, I will be returning to Guatemala 2-4 weeks after the visit to pick Abby up and bring her home. Maybe she will remember me. That would be pretty cool.

What's next is getting Abby's birth certificate again, having a 2nd DNA sample taken to match Abby to her birth mother and then once the results come back, the US Embassy sends me a "pink slip" which is basically an email stating I have an appointment at the Embassy in Guatemala on a certain date where I show up with Abby and finalize the adoption. After that appointment, she is legally mine. I will have to re-adopt her again when I come home, but that will be a piece of cake compared to everything else!