Abby's Mom

Although I am an independent person, I have been looking forward to my new job title more than ever. I am thrilled to call myself "Abby's Mom". We are in Guatemala City, a big city of 2.5 million people. Here is a view from our hotel room.

Guatemala City - Abby's Birth Place

I will fill you in on some of the highlights of the trip. It has been fantastic. My visa appointment with the US Embassy was on Friday, so late Thursday afternoon, Hugo who works for my adoption agency, met with me to make sure I had all the paperwork completed and in my possession that I would need for the visa interview. Despite making a list and checking it twice (actually I checked it about 5 times a day the week leading up to the appointment), I forgot my W-2 form!!! I had my tax return for 2007 but somehow I forgot my W-2 form. Hugo told me without it, my appointment would have to be rescheduled, and it could be 3 weeks out. I was in total panic mode. I collected myself and called my friend, Michele, to go to my house, rifle through my tax files, and find that darn W-2 form. Thankfully, she was able to get over there quickly, scan it and send it to me on email so I could print it out and take it to the Embassy. Crisis averted. I was really annoyed with myself for overlooking that, but in the end, we got to our appointment and everything went as planned.

It was basically like sitting in the DMV office for 2.5 hours in a small room with 40 other American families, their babies, and their entourages. We were crammed in there like sardines, but it was not too bad. We waited in one room for about an hour and then they called our name and told us to go to Door #10 waiting for the Wizard to call your name. You go in to this tiny room just a tad bigger than an airplane lavatory where the Wizard (Embassy official grunt) looks at my file and asked me a few silly questions like verifying random dates and asking me if I was going to change her name. After I answered them, the Wizard said he would stamp and approve Abby's visa. He then told me to go sit in the holding area and wait for someone else to call my name. About an 1.5 hours later, they called my name, and we went to a different window where a different Embassy grunt (but he was really nice) asked me so more questions like "Did I like my agency" and "Did I plan on readopting Abby in Texas" (answer is Yes..makes it easier to inherit stuff later for her and get a Texas birth certificate). I then had to take an oath that everything in my file was true and I was honest in my answers. After I said yes, he said "Congratulations", and we walked out of the Embassy as a family. Well, Hugo wasn't family but he did drive us back to the hotel with the promise to return with Abby's visa a few days later when it was ready for pick up at the Embassy. We commemorated the special occassion with Gerber Pears and Mangos and took a nap. Seriously, it felt great. Abby has already felt like my daughter for some time, but it was nice to clear this big final hurdle.

Abby in One of Her Favorite Poses - Crossing Her Legs

Abby and I (officially as mother and daughter)
We spend most of our days just hanging out at the hotel with Abby. As you might expect, everything is worked around her eating and sleeping schedule, but she is a very easy baby. She is just a pure delight. She sleeps 8-9 hours each night straight through. She rarely cries and when she does, it is very brief. She is starting to eat like a real champ. She loves all the foods I have tried. She wakes up smiling and smiles and laughs all day long almost. She is rarely irritable. She has the best disposition. All the other families here constantly come up to me and comment on her cuteness and her personality. She smiles with her whole face and it makes people feel good. Abby is definitely tiny compared to other babies her age, but she packs a lot of personality into that little body. My mom says she is very "goal oriented". Right now, that means she lunges and lurches to grab whatever is near by if she sets her mind on it. I hope later it means she will study as much as possible so she can get into Harvard :)

This trip, Abby LOVED the bath. Probably because we didn't hit her head accidentally on the faucet this time, and Grandma decided to jump in with Abby to make her feel more comfortable. I am not sure who enjoyed the bath more, Grams or Abby!

Abby In Bath and After Bath


There has only been one really tough, sad time for me on this trip. I almost don't want to write about it because it makes me sad, but I need to touch on it. Before our Embassy appointment on Friday, Gloria, Abby's foster mother, dropped Abby off on Thursday. Like our last visit a month ago, Gloria arrived 30 minutes prior to my agency representative, so we sat together waiting. There was not a whole lot of discussion, and I let Gloria feed Abby because even though I really wanted to be with her, I could tell Gloria was sad, and I knew it was only moments before I would have Abby in my life full time. I tried to give Gloria some space, so I just people watched in the hotel lobby. I looked over at Gloria a few minutes later feeding Abby, and she was sobbing uncontrollably. Tears were streaming down her face. It was horrific. I tried to comfort Gloria, but she could not stop crying. I never felt so singularly responsible for someone elses sadness. It was such an awful feeling to have the flip side of your happiness be pain for someone else. Intellectually, I know that Gloria will get over Abby soon, but in the moment, it was terrible. Even thinking about it brings me to tears. While Gloria and I do not share the same language, I really connected with her. She told me her son (who is 12) was crying for a few days because he was so attached to Abby. Once my agency representative, Claudia, arrived, it got a bit better. We went to the room and talked. Everytime I said something to Claudia, Claudia would translate, and once I could tell Gloria understood, Gloria came over and hugged me. I am going to send her letters and pictures of Abby as she grows up. I feel like Gloria was the first most important person in Abby's life (other than her birth mother), and I wish Guatemalan adoptions would continue so she could stay employed as a foster mother. I worry about her a lot now. She has no other income, and her husband passed away 3 years ago. Gloria was an outstanding foster mother to Abby. She is loving, kind, warm-hearted, and gentle. I know that is part of the reason that Abby is such a wonderful baby.


Gloria and Abby's Farewell Picture
This post is getting too long so I am not sure if anyone is still reading it, but a highlight of the trip was going to Antigua on Saturday. Antigua is the old colonial capital of Guatemala, and the architecture, great shops, restaurants, cobblestone streets, and overall charm of the city are truly special. Abby was a trooper. She loves the Baby Bjorn and I love having her as an appendage. We only got to see a little of Antigua but it was worthwhile.

Day Trip to Antigua



Not only was it a much needed retreat from this hotel in Guatemala City, but it helped my parenting confidence. I can now change her almost anywhere and feed her almost anywhere without worrying about it. She drank a bottle while driving along curvy roads and cobblestone streets, and it did not faze her one bit! She just really goes with the flow. This is good for me, and hopefully she will mellow me out a bit.

I make mistakes daily, but I am trying to learn from them. I have to use the stroller as a high chair in the hotel room when I feed her there. A few days ago, I was feeding her baby food and dropped the spoon on the floor. I left her in the stroller while I went to go get another spoon in my suitcase, and as I walked back to the stroller, I saw Abby being folded up like an accordion! Abby's idiotic mother forgot to lock the stroller all the way down, and Abby is so light she just got folded up. But, no harm, no foul. Abby did not make a peep, and then when I looked at her she started laughing!!

Abby After The Stroller Incident - Hardly Traumatized...
We are looking foward to coming home tomorrow. We get in late Tuesday night unless we miss our connecting flight in Houston which is a possibility because I have learned that Houston customs could be a lengthy process. Hopefully, we will make our connecting flight, but if not, we will catch the next one. Goodnight, Abby is already asleep...

Abby and Tigger

I'm As Ready As I'll Ever Be

I'm ready for Abby. I hope she is ready for me.

Ever since I got my visa appointment two weeks ago, my life has been turned upside down trying to finish all the last minute things I needed to do to prepare for Abby's homecoming. Shopping, putting the crib together, hanging curtains, babyproofing the house, and more shopping. Not to mention the countless forms our government requires must be filled out in order to get her visa. My generous friends and family came through with fantastic gifts for Abby, but it didn't prevent me from sneakin' out to buy one more "perfect outfit". I have NOT exercised self-control at all! I got my last pictures and report on Abby last week, and she is filling her clothes out a bit more. At least it seems that Abby's foster mother, Gloria, doesn't have to pull her pants up to her chest like I did when I first put her in the outfit. Thankfully, a baby can pull off the pants to nipples look while the rest of us could not and should not.

Abby crossing her legs while she relaxes watching a telenova
Abby sitting up with just a little help from the pillows
Abby and her amazing smile. It gets me every time. Does that wear off at some point?
I have some pictures here of Abby's room. The room is pretty big, so it was hard to capture it all, but you get the gist. Apparently one of the most common questions the US Embassy personnel asks prospective adoptive parents (known as PAPs in the adoption community, but I don't like that acronym because I think gynecology when I see PAP, and that is not really where I want to be with my thoughts) is "Is the nursery ready?" Strange question if you ask me as if that is really not one of the most important things in the scheme of things, but hey, I'll play along. Yes, it is ready. Now please give me Abby's visa, and thank you very much.






I can honestly say I have never been this happy. I am not generally an unhappy person, but I don't walk around smiling for no reason. Not a good quality, but that's me, for better or worse. But, now I walk around smiling. It is so strange, but when I think of Abby (and I think about her almost all the time), I smile. I smile when I think of her smile. I smile when I think of her laugh. I smile when I think of her curly hair. I smile when I think of her curious nature. I smile when I think of her love of music. I smile when I think of her smell. I smile when I think of her touch. So, this wait is almost over for me, and I will see her in just a few days. It doesn't get any better than this.

Pink

I'm Pink.

This is a GREAT thing. This means that I got my pink slip today from the US Embassy in Guatemala. I never thought I would be ecstatic over a "pink slip", but I am. The pink slip is a notice of my visa appointment on Friday, 3/28 at 8:00 AM with Abby. This is where our government interviews me and approves my adoption from the US standpoint. Abby will get her visa to come to the US a few days after the appointment, and we will be a family. I will re-adopt her when I come back to the US and change her name officially to Abby Elena. I can't believe I am at the end of the road, and Abby will be my daughter officially in just 2 weeks. It is surreal. I have never been this happy, and I can't wait to be with my daughter.

Some friends are having a baby shower for me tomorrow. It is so nice to be able to share this great news with friends and family. What a great way to start a weekend!

The One With The Hair

My life changed forever on February 29th. See pictures above if you don't want to read why. 'nuf said, right?

My mom and I went to Guatemala City late last week to meet Abby for the first time. My in country agency representative, Claudia, and Abby's foster mother, Gloria, were supposed to drop Abby off with us at 9:30 AM. Anticipation for her visit was at an all-time high. I could not sleep for several days, but I didn't care. Claudia called around 8:30 and said that Abby was going to get her 2nd DNA sample taken that morning which would delay her arrival until 11:30 AM. I was glad about this because upon receipt of the the 2nd DNA sample results, the US Embassy would give me an appointment to finalize Abby's adoption, so it just meant I would be able to bring her home sooner. So, my mom and I tried to bide our time walking around the hotel, doing a litte shopping and conversing with other families who were visiting their children or finalizing their adoptions. About 10:45, I decided to go back to my room in case Claudia called because I didn't want to miss the call under any circumstances. As I walked through the lobby to the elevator bank to go back to my room, I saw a woman sitting on a couch in the lobby that looked familiar but I couldn't immediately place her face. I double backed to look at her again, and I realized it was Gloria, Abby's foster mom! I didn't see anyone with her, but as I approached her, I saw a small pink shape wrapped in a blanket on the couch. I peered over the shape, and it was Abby! She looked at me and gave me the best smile I have ever seen! I was so happy in the moment. I actually couldn't believe it was happening. I was overcome with emotion. I was only able to communicate a little with Gloria since my Spanish is barely adequate, but it was pretty easy for Gloria to figure out who I was by my reaction to seeing Abby. For 45 minutes while we waited for Claudia the translator to show up, my mom and I oohed and aahed over Abby, held her, and played with her. It was flat out incredible. Meeting Abby for the first time exceeded all my expectations. It could not have been more perfect if I had written a script for it.

Once Claudia arrived, we went up to our hotel room so we could have some privacy, and I asked all the pertinent questions about Abby's habits - eating, sleeping, etc. I was quickly able to confirm what I had seen in photos and DVDs, that Gloria is a fantastic foster mother and gives Abby excellent care. Gloria is a very calm, kind hearted and nurturing person, and I didn't need to understand Spanish to see that at all. Abby is fortunate to have such a great foster mother in Guatemala.

Gloria, Abby and I - First Meeting



Abby had a little cold during our visit, but she was in a great mood the entire time. Gloria said she had just started sleeping through the night the night before she was dropped off with us, and she slept through the night for 8-9 hours each of the three nights she was with us! Abby is a very happy baby. She has a great disposition and just smiles and laughs for no apparent reason. She does not like to sit still EVER and absolutely loves jumping up and down on people's laps when they hold her. She was very close to being able to sit up on her own and loved sitting between my ankles so I could support her and give her a feeling of independence.

Abby preparing to take off and jump on Grandma's lap

Abby sitting up between my ankles

The hotel we stayed at, the Marriott, has long catered to families adopting children from Guatemala. They made it much easier to parent on the fly than I expected, and it was nice being amongst other first time parents, first time international adoptive parents, etc. who could relate to the entire process of adopting a child from Guatemala. Abby was known around the hotel as "the one with the hair" meaning she was one of only a handful of Guatemalan children that has this amazing curly hair! After her bath (which she showed a great displeasure for), her hair curled up around her ears and she looked like the cutest little Mouseketeer!



There was a baby lounge at the hotel that had a lot of toys and activities to keep the kids occupied, and as expected, Abby absolutely loved the "Johnny Jump Up" which was a swing that hung from the rafter/ceiling that allowed her to bounce up and down in. Because she is so small, she couldn't reach the floor, but we had a great time helping her bounce, and Abby could have stayed there for hours. This toy is an absolute must for me in my home because it will keep Abby occupied when I need to do things that require two hands!

Abby and the Johnny Jump Up

I learned a lot on my trip. I learned that I have an even better mom than I thought. She was there for me while I adjusted to motherhood, when I was nervous, scared and uptight that Abby wasn't eating enough, wasn't getting an appropriate nap, etc. and let me boss her around without ever losing her cool. She loved showing Abby off to the other families and doing stroller wheelies with Abby on the hotel grounds. I learned that I am even luckier than I thought. I have a beautiful, happy, incredible little baby that I can't wait to have in my life full time. I learned that I have more maternal instincts than I thought. They kicked in right away from the moment I laid eyes on her and never stopped. I learned that I can do most things with one hand that I used to do with two hands. This will come in handy since Abby enjoys being held so much. I learned that I miss someone more than I ever have missed anyone in my entire life that I only met a few days ago. It felt like someone ripped my heart out of my chest when I saw her walking (well not walking really, being carried in the Baby Bjorn by Gloria) out my hotel room on Monday afternoon at 3:30 PM. I sobbed uncontrollably. Gloria started crying and told me not to worry, she would take great care of Abby. I told her (well, the translator told her) that I wasn't worried about Abby's care, I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to deal with this temporary separation. Abby, thankfully, was too young and was nonplussed by my meltdown. The last thing I heard as Abby was bopping out the door was Claudia saying "Vamanos" which means "let's get a move on" in Spanish so that the good-bye would be over. The only way I can get through this is because I know that I will be back to Guatemala in about a month when I am expected to get my embassy appointment to finalize the adoption. It cannot get her soon enough.

Abby in her hoody
Abby in her stroller saying "hug me". Ok, I think I will if you insist.