Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Boys Don't Cry and Neither Does Abby

Abby's Bath Time - See How Long Her Hair is Getting? Abby in Her New Shades - Too Cool for School
We have had a busy few weeks. We had a great visit from my closest friend, Lisa P., and one of her wonderful sons, Sam, age 4. They came to visit Abby in particular, and we all had a great time. As usual, it was great to see Lisa. We have been the best of friends for over 20 years now but have never lived in the same city other than when we were in college. Lisa has been one of the most supportive, encouraging people during Abby's adoption process. She wanted to hear ever little detail, and it made the journey even more worthwhile because of her interest. Sam was good with Abby even though they are definitely on different wavelengths right now. Sam is full of energy 24/7 like a typical 4 year old boy, but he is the sweetest, cutest little boy. I have been fortunate enough to see him quite a bit over the years even though he has moved to the East Coast. Next year, Abby and I will go visit Sam and his little brother on their turf.

Lisa and Sam


Lisa and Abby

My mother's close friend and business partner, Jeanie, threw a "sip and see" for Abby while Lisa and Sam were visiting.

Grams, Abby and Sam at Abby's "Sip and See"

It was really nice. Abby got more great gifts from generous and thoughtful people. Most of the people who came were long time friends of my mom who wanted to sneak a peek of her newest granddaughter. It was great to see everyone, and a few of the ladies brought their grown daughters to the get together. These grown daughters were girls I used to babysit!! Wow, not much makes you feel older than that. Abby didn't disappoint though. Despite no nap that day to speak of, Abby was interested, curious, and happy to be around everyone. And she did conk out after a few hours and went down for a nap without a peep. Abby really just does not cry. Lisa commented that while visiting for 48 hours, Abby didn't cry once. 'tis true. The truth is that she does occasionally cry, but it is really, really rare. How long can this good fortune continue??? Man, am I blessed or what?

On May 21st, we had a very big day. I re-adopted Abby in the State of Texas. We headed over to Fort Worth (because my adoption attorney practices there) about 6 am since we had to be there by 7:45 for open docket at 8 AM. It was about an hour drive, but I wanted to account for any unknown traffic or construction delays. We got to Fort Worth at 7 and entered the family law center. Abby was in her usual good mood as walked around and people watched waiting for our lawyer. There was another family from Wichita Falls represented by our lawyer as well who were adopting a young boy from Colombia. Our attorney arrived, and Abby and I went to go over the proceedings with her and sign some paperwork. We went into the courtroom with the other family and sat down until our case was ready to be heard. The Wichita Falls family was called first, and it took about 5 or 10 minutes. Then, the judge called Abby and I to the bench. Our lawyer asked me some really easy questions like:

Did I promise to love and take care of Abby for the rest of her life? YES

Did I think changing her birth name to her new name was in her best interests? YES

Did I think Abby was mentally, emotionally, and physically able to be adopted? YES

Had I cared for her for at least 6 months? NO

Did I want the court to waive the 6 month rule so I could adopt her today? YES

Clinton or Obama? (OK, she didn't really ask that)

It was painless but a joyous event. When we walked up to the bench, Abby gave the judge the biggest grin in her bag of tricks. It was kind of funny because she hadn't smiled at all that morning until she saw the judge. Her smile melted the judge who gushed about how adorable and precious Abby was! After I answered the questions, he said the adoption was approved and he signed the final adoption decree. He left his seat and came over to where we were standing and gave Abby a big kiss! Then, the bailiff gave Abby a cute stuffed animal (which has a serious shedding problem, but it is the thought that counts), and took a picture for us so that we could commemorate the big event.

Abby, Mom, Attorney and Judge in Tarrant County Family Law Center




We left the courtroom and went down to the clerk's office a few floors down so that our attorney could pick up the signed paperwork. We waited about 10 minutes, and our attorney gave us certifed copies of the final adoption decree. We were on the road back to Dallas by 8:45 AM but had accomplished a lot. Abby was re-adopted in Texas which allows her to get a Texas birth certificate and is necessary for her to get U.S. citizenship. The visa she traveled on to the U.S. did NOT give her automatic citizenship. Just another application to fill out and send in to the government, but we are almost done with the paperwork. I almost won't know what to do when the paperwork associated with Abby's adoption ends...After we get her citizenship which will take up to 6 months, we can get her a Social Security card and a U.S. passport much easier. But since she is not taking a job anytime soon or traveling out of the country, we have some time!

Abby had a few firsts over Memorial Day Weekend. She attended her first sporting event. We went to watch a friend's daughter play in an under 18 select softball tournament near our house.

Abby Watching Laura Play Softball

It was highly competitive, and the game ended in a 2-2 tie. We sat on the grass in the shade along the 3rd base/left field line. Abby was chill. She didn't watch much of the game but entertained herself while I watched and visited with friends. I hope she is like this when I take her to long, long baseball games to see her Red Sox in the future!

Abby and Julia At the Game


She loved feeling the grass between her toes and, of course, she wanted to eat it. I tried to explain that we don't eat grass but since logic doesn't work with a 9 month old, I just had to be diligent and give her something else that was suitable to put in her mouth. We played on the bucket swings after the game which are always a big hit with Abby.

Abby also went swimming for the first time in a pool. I bought her a little boat which was designed to introduce young 'uns to the water for the first time.



She loved the autonomy the boat gave her, and she has absolutely no trepidation around water whatsover. She really enjoyed playing bouncing and jumping games in the water, and she didn't mind getting water all over herself. We went swimming at Michele's house, and she has a fountain in her spa which was probably Abby's favorite thing. She loved touching the fountain and having the water spray lightly in her face.

Abby and Michele
I did make one big mistake when I put her boat over the fountain forgetting the boat had a big hole in the middle where the fountain shot straight up and gave Abby a nose enema. She got absolutely drenched. While she didn't enjoy it, she did not cry. I would have cried if I got that much water up my nose at one time!!

Abby in Her First Bikini - Watch out Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition!


This is the last week I have with Abby full time before I put her in daycare at the beginning of June. I know she will be in good hands, but I will miss her terribly. I just have to make the most of the time I will spend with her in the mornings, evenings, and on the weekends. It will be different. I am sure Abby will be a trooper as she has adjusted to every other major change in her life so well. Hopefully, I can learn a little from her and my adjustment back to the cubicle farm at the office will go OK.

Abby Playing With Her Maracas While Mom Makes Business Calls















































Wednesday, May 7, 2008

The Best Birthday

This used to be my chair, but Abby told me since she matched it, it was now hers. Ok, Abby, you win!!
Today, 5/9, is my birthday. I can't think of a better way to spend my birthday then with my new daughter who I still look at and can't believe my good fortune. Birthdays are always a good time to reflect and think about what has happened over the past year. And, with Mother's Day in just a few days, this is really a special weekend for me. My birthday has always fallen around Mother's Day, and my mom and I always get together to celebrate by going to brunch and a movie. This year will be even more special since we are both mothers now, and Abby is here. As it turns out, my mom is spending time with us on Mother's Day and spending the night so she can take care of Abby on Monday while I re-enter the work force after my 6 week sabbatical.

I woke up really happy this morning when I heard Abby cooing in her crib. Maybe she was singing happy birthday to me (or not), but in any event, she gave me an extra big smile. It already is the best birthday I have ever had, and it is hard to imagine it getting any better than this. This time last year, I had just started my adoption process and didn't even have my home study approved yet. I knew I was going to be a mom in a year or so, but I certainly didn't expect to have brought Abby home over a month before my birthday and Mother's Day. What a wonderful year, all the ups and downs of the adoption process were worth it 100 times over. I have the most beautiful, amazing daughter that I love with all my heart. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love her. It is simply the best feeling in the world.


I took Abby to visit her new school/day care where she will go starting at the beginning of June. Her new caregivers went ga-ga over here as soon as they saw her. It gave me a really good feeling. If they spend more time with her because of her pleasant disposition, all the better for Abby.... There were several other babies her age, and in some ways, I think she will really benefit. I will sorely miss our special time together, but in some ways, I am looking forward to going back to work so that my brain can be re-energized. I hope I don't feel too guilty when I go back to work, but it is probably inevitable to some extent. I hope to turn any guilt into a positive so that I will be an even better mother to Abby.

Abby is extremely active. She is always on the go. One of the best decisions I made early on was getting my home baby-proofed. She puts her mouth on EVERYTHING, and really enjoys door stops in particular. It is a good thing they were all replaced with solid plastic instead of the ones with the little caps on the end that she could have swallowed. It is funny watching her try to get her head at the right angle to put her mouth on the doorstop but not hit her head on the wall. It is just fun to watch her try to "problem solve".



Abby is extremely excited about the great start the Red Sox have had, and she is equally excited about the bad start the Yankees have had. I don't want to teach her to hate anyone or anything of course, but I will need to teach her to "strongly dislike" the Yankees. It is absolute requirement in our house :)