My Mayan Jewish Princess

First Day of Pre-K

2011-08-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

You blink and the baby you were toting around in your arms one day turns into a little girl in a plaid dress wearing a gigantic backpack ready to SKIP her way to school.

Abby has been going to the school since she was 8 months old, but the first day of Pre-K was different. More structure, a real commitment to get the kids ready for kindergarten, increased responsibility, better teacher, and the uniforms all made it seem like Abby was going to a brand new school. She was so very proud and excited.

We talked about what to expect and Abby was really looking forward to having a new teacher, Mrs. Mazur, who she had briefly spent time when her school would occassionally move up one of two of the kids to keep the student/teacher ratios in check. Abby talked about it for weeks in advance, and she kept asking me everyday "Am I going to Mrs. Mazur's class today?". Finally, Monday, 8/22 came. Before Abby could even open her eyes that morning, she said "I get to go to Mrs. Mazur's class today, YEA!!!!".

In the 3+ years of getting her ready for school, this morning was the absolute easiest to get her ready. Abby dressed herself for the most part, didn't have to be reminded to brush her teeth and actually sat down in position so I could brush her hair. Believe me, the hair brushing thing is big because Abby does NOT like it and typically puts up mild to major resistance every morning before she will finally let me have at it.

She posed for a few pictures and we headed out the door. Definitely an extra bounce to Abby's step. I was excited for her but a bit sad seeing how grown up she was. We got to school and we saw almost every teacher she had before we went into her classroom. They all thought she looked so cute in her plaid dress and with her newly pierced ears. I think she grew a bit tired of being paraded around on display and led me to her new classroom.

She opened the door and without fanfare went in by herself. No goodbye hug or kiss. I was shocked, happy, and sad all at the same time. Shocked because normally goodbyes are lingering for her - lots of hugging, kissing and telling me she doesn't want me to go. Sometimes there is crying too (but not any for the last month prior to this day). Happy because she was confident and excited to go into class by herself. Sad because she went into class by herself and didn't seem to "need" me. All and all, a great beginning to a new chapter for Abby. Most of her friends moved up with her. Some of them will be starting kindergarten next year, and some the year after depending on their birthdays. Abby falls in the second category because she has a 9/2 birthday which is one day after the Texas cutoff. You have to be 5 by 9/1 to start kindergarten that year, and Abby won't be 5 until 9/2. It's all good though..she will just have more time to enjoy being a kid and reinforcing everything that she learns in Pre-K.

Turks Trip

2010-09-21T12:15:00.001-07:00

We planned on a return trip to Destin in September but with the disastrous BP oil spill, I just didn't want to pull the trigger on a beach condo without a full oil spill guarantee. After getting conflicting reports about water and beach quality, we decided to spend a little extra money and get a condo in the Turks and Caicos, a place I had always wanted to travel to.

What a good choice it turned out to be. Wow. We stayed at a small nice resort right on the beach no more than 50 feet from the ocean. We had a 2nd floor unit in the only oceanfront building. Abby was the only kid there under 10, and there were few if any kids at all, but it had calm, crystal clear warm water and sand that felt like powdered sugar, and so Abby was set! Being the low season, there were no more than 20 people on the beach at our resort at any given time, so we almost had the place to ourselves. Our condo had a full kitchen and great view of our little playground each day. I could tell that most of the guests (about half Europeans, half Americans) at the resort were not too happy to see a 3 year old arrive, however, by day 2, most of the guests personally came up to me and told me that Abby was the most happy, joyous, well behaved child they had ever seen. I would have to agree with them on this vacation. Abby's behavior from start to finish including air travel was exceptional. Abby is pretty well behaved anyway, but she was just a dream on this trip. She just loves loves loves the beach and could not get enough of the water. She would just take off without her floaties and run toward the ocean, and I would have to go from a sitting position to a full on sprint to catch her. I don't get how she is afraid of insects but not the ocean - not at all.

I don't have any pictures but one of the highlights of the trip for Abby was watching a rather large bird stalk a huge crab that was crawling on the pool deck into the bushes. Next thing we know, the bird grabbed the crab and crab legs and body parts were flying everywhere. It was totally crazy and probably the most violent thing Abby has witnessed to date! Abby actually thought it was amazing, but I had to keep her out of the line of fire because the crab was just virtually shredded right before our eyes.

We did only minimal sightseeing because we wanted to have a low key vacation swimming and just playing in the sand. Also, we went in the off season, and a lot of the island was shut down. Next time we go, we will do a few excursions and go a little earlier in the season as well. I just can't wait to go back!

Three

2010-09-02T13:09:00.001-07:00

Abby was really looking forward to turning 3 or at least the most important part of it - the birthday party. We had been talking about it for weeks and weeks, and I had been stressing about it for months. We had it the weekend before her birthday on 8/28 since her birthday fell on a weekday. I always stress whenever I have to host anything, and this was an important event. I decided to have her party at My Gym because she was so comfortable there having attended weekly gym classes on Saturday morning for over a year. I stressed out about whether her friends would show up, what kind of cake to get, party favors, but most importantly, whether or not all the kids would have a good time. It is pretty insane to stress about this stuff, but I did.

What a waste of time. All that stress. The party was a great!! All eight kids we invited came. The Dora the Explorer cake looked perfect and tasted amazing. And, I think each and every kid, age 10 months to age 6 including all the 3 year old friends, Matthew, Madison, Emma, Maya and Ellie, had a really good time. The teachers did a fantastic job catering the activities so that the two older boys could still have a good time at a 3 year old party. It could not have gone better. The only regret I have was paying a kings ransom for the cake. Never again. While it was great tasting, you should not spend a third world country's GNP on a birthday cake when your main constituents are 3 year olds. As it turns out and I fully expected, Abby didn't even eat it except a little frosting. She doesn't have a huge sweet tooth. My mistake was that I promised her a Dora cake, and to get Dora's full body on the cake, it had to be large. Abby just likes the idea of cake and doesn't need to eat it. I wish it was that easy for the rest of us....

14 Minutes After the Party Was Over

We had a mini celebration at home on Abby's actual birthday on the 2nd. She got a tricycle, scooter and computer. She was a happy camper.

The week after Abby's 3rd birthday party, Abby attended Emma's 3rd birthday party at Jump Town. It was a Jump Town designed for kids under 6 years old, so it was perfect. Emma had a huge turn out of family and friends. Abby simply loves being around Emma no matter what the forum, and she had a fantastic time jumping, going down the big slides, and eating birthday cake (kind of).

At three, Abby is 34.5 inches and 26.6 lbs. (10th and 3rd percentile respectively), so she is still very petite. Her doctor says she is perfectly proportioned with a 50% BMI. Abby continues to LOVE to go to the doctor which makes things so much easier. Her wellness check up went off without a hitch, and Abby didn't even flinch when she got her shot. Her verbal abilities continue to improve daily as her vocabulary grows, and she can count to 20 now.

Abby has developed empathy for others and is extremely affectionate with those that she is close to. She used to laugh when she saw me cry or stub my toe, and now she asks if I am OK. She is constantly stopping what she is doing to tell me she wants to give me a hug or a kiss. Of course, like all 3 yr olds who have learned or mastered the art of manipulation, sometimes she has an agenda. But, most of the time, it just comes out of the blue. Boy, does that feel good too. These are the moments, I want her to stay 3 forever. Jekyll and Hyde behavior and meltdowns over not being able to watch "Bob the Builder" makes me yearn for her to turn 4. But, 99% of the time, I try to enjoy the moment and the phase she is in because once you blink, it is over.

I Pledge Allegiance

2010-08-31T12:30:00.000-07:00

One day, I walked into Abby's room, and there she sat on her big bed surrounded by all of her stuffed animals. She was mumbling something very softly and paying special attention to her favorite, Zoey, a popular Sesame Street character. She had Zoey's hand over her "heart" and was reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. I had no idea she had already learned that in school, and although a lot of it was hard to understand, Abby clearly knew all the words. Of course I didn't have my video camera ready, so I tried to capture it later that day. It is hard to understand, but here it is:

INSERT VIDEO HERE

Her teacher later told me that Abby was one of the first to master it in the class and was even helping the other kids learn it. I have to admit, while I am not an overly patriotic person, watching my Guatemalan born daughter recite this with such authority warmed my heart. Abby has really taken an interest in gardening. She loves helping me trim the hedges and water the plants. When we trim the hedges, she insists on picking up EVERY LAST LEAF that may have fallen to the ground. And, I mean EVERY LAST LEAF.

Fun with Friends

2010-08-14T10:32:00.000-07:00

Abby attended another school chum's birthday party which was at Madison's house. Madison is a very gregarious, adorable little girl.

Abby talks and plays with Madison all the time at school, but for some reason, Madison is the one kid that Abby scratches and pushes from time to time. It is by no means a pattern, but it has happened about 3 times over a year or so. Luckily for me, Madison's mother has been very understanding sharing similar stories where Madison has been the culprit. She made me feel much more at ease, and Abby had a blast at Madison's party. They had about 15 kids of all ages and just gave them complete freedom of their house. There were activity stations and things for the kids to do, and I really admired Madison's parents for just being so laid back about it all. I don't think I could do that.....Madison's mother made an amazing butterfly cake from scratch (I was in awe..a baker I am not). Abby had a very G rated first "I will show you mine, if you show me yours" experience with another classmate, J.

Abby and J.

Abby and J were discussing Mickey Mouse, and Abby proclaimed "I have Minnie Mouse panties on!" to J. J then said "Let me see!". Abby pulled up her dress and showed them to J, and then the two of them continued playing and laughing together. No big deal, just cute particularly because Abby was so proud of her Minny Mouse underwear.

Abby really missed her BFF, Emma, from school this summer because her BFF is only in school part time since her mother is a teacher and has summers off. Emma's mother and I arranged a playdate at the mall (since it was 105 degrees outside) for the girls to get together and play at the playground. They played for an hour or so, had a blast, and we finished out the day with some lunch and a few rides on the carousel. Abby and Emma have been going to school together now for about 2 years, and they just light up when they are around each other.

Abby is becoming more and more maternal with each passing day. She just loves babies, dolls, and stuffed animals. I do feel guilty at times knowing that Abby will not have a sibling to grow up with, and this feeling is reinforced when I watch her play with her baby dolls and stuffed animals. I know it is normal and healthy for her to be engaging in pretend play, but I am glad we are able to spend time on weekends with her friends too. She loves having tea parties with her animals/dolls. Here she has put all her animals under a blanket kind of in a circle and given them each a serving of pretzels.

Matthew's mother and I have been talking about taking the kids to the fire station for months, and we finally did one Saturday. Matthew is extremely knowledgeable and interested in fire trucks, firemen, etc, and Abby really likes them as well. We visited a fire station in Allen near both of our homes and got a tour of the station from the firemen on duty. Matthew asked a million questions and Abby just took it all in for the most part. Both of the kids had a good time and got to sit on the fire truck with the firemen as well. The firemen showed them all the compartments and the "Jaws of Life" on the fire truck as well as the inside of an ambulance. Safety reasons dictated that the kids could not sit inside the fire truck, but it didn't matter, they enjoyed themselves. We took them for ice cream after, and they had an absolute blast playing at the Chick-Fil-A playground. Matthew is such a special boy - super smart and very empathetic and caring towards others. I have not seen another child at this age, almost 3, that was that interested in the welfare of others. He was constantly looking out for Abby making sure she was OK on the playground especially when some of the time, she had to really stretch her little legs to climb up to the next step.

Allen, TX Fire Station

Grandma's Birthday

I took my mom out to a proper sushi dinner without Abby a few nights before her birthday while Abby attended a Parent's Night Out event at her gym. We also saw Inception which we both thoroughly enjoyed. I don't usually go for the sci-fi thriller type movies, but I really enjoyed it. I think just going to the movies these days is a thrill for me in and of itself, so I probably would have enjoyed anything. On her birthday, the three of us went to the Galleria for an outing. Abby played at the indoor playground and we enjoyed Abby's favorite restaurant, Mi Cocina. I believe Abby could live off grilled onions and rice and be perfectly content. Overall, it was a nice birthday weekend for my mom, and Abby loves spending time with her grandma.

Matthew's BDAY Party

Matthew turned 3 and had his party at My Gym, the same place we are having Abby's birthday party. I was glad to be able to see what kind of parties the My Gym team throws, and I wasn't disappointed. Matthew's party was a blast. Abby had a fabulous time. She was very comfortable in her surroundings and enjoyed all the songs and activities. Matthew had a fire truck theme, and he was grinning from ear to ear the entire time. It is just so heartwarming to see the kids so thrilled, and it makes the planning/effort to put everything together all worthwhile. When Matthew came out on the motorcycle, I knew that I would have to make sure the My Gym staff did that at Abby's party as well. Abby is mesmerized by motorcycles.

Milestones and Firsts

2010-07-26T12:40:00.001-07:00

Abby's First Fourth of July Parade

It seems that most of Abby's friends all have birthdays over the summer, and she went to Ellie's 3rd birthday party at the beginning of July. Abby, Maya and Ellie were going to go this great little splash park in one of the mid city suburbs here, but the weather that day looked ominous. Ellie's mom changed the party on the fly and we all got together at a nearby Chick-Fil-A where the girls had cupcakes and played at the playground. They had just as much fun as they would have at the splash park. It was the first time that Abby has been around both Maya and Ellie at the same time that I felt like she was truly her happy self .They exhausted themselves running around and playing. Abby learned what sweat was for the first time, and she kept saying "Mommy, my hair is wet!" I told her to get used to it as long as we live in Texas.....

We had a major milestone the second week of July. It was more major for me than Abby. It was the first time I left Abby overnight. I went to visit my best friend in MD who was recently diagnosed with cancer. I had been wanting to visit her for 6 weeks, and it was such a great visit to see her even though she was sick. I was more stressed than ever because a) I was leaving Abby for the first time with my mom and b) my best friend of 25+ years has cancer. After leaving my mom 5 pages (overkill??) of instructions regarding Abby's routine and how to use my three different remote controls, I went to MD for a week. Beside a few minor bad habits Abby developed while I was gone mostly because Abby's grandmother has no interest in disciplining her (and she shouldn't as a grandmother), Abby did GREAT, my mother did fantastic, and they bonded even further as grandmother and granddaughter. So, while the reason this was the first time apart was sad, there was a major positive benefit for Abby and me (trusting my mom more). As much as I missed Abby and I yearned to hear her little voice each day, it was so nice to be able to focus all of my attention on my friend. She has intensive chemo treatments in the hospital every 2 weeks, and the week I visited her, she was home from th hospital. We spent all of our time talking and talking, and she said I was a good distraction for her. Her boys were in summer camp during the day, and she has an amazing support network in her community helping out with errands, meals, etc. It was really heartwarming to see how much my best friend is loved and cherished by others. It doesn't surprise me, but it did awe me a bit. She has only lived in MD for about 4 years, and you would have thought she had lived there an entire lifetime judging by the amount of local friendships she has already developed.

Another milestone. When I got back from MD, Abby moved into a toddler bed. She had never tried to get out of her crib, is a robot sleeper (i am so lucky), and she hadn't outgrown it, but... I just didn't think a child about to be 3 should be in a crib, so I decided to disrupt a perfect situation! I had been promising her a race car bed and she had been asking about it, so we got a little pink roadster. The first 3-4 nights were a bit bumpy with Abby up and down during the night mostly because Abby is a thrasher when she sleeps and she kept hitting her head on the sides of the bed. I finally fixed that problem by putting a large pillow in the bed that was at the same level as the sides. Abby is still a great sleeper but now enjoys her ability to get up when she wants to get a book, use the bathroom, get water, etc.

Abby's Race Car/Roadster Bed

The most important "first" or milestone Abby had in July was attending a baseball game. Abby loves baseball (or at least the accessories and peripherals - gloves, hats, etc), but I was probably looking more forward to it than Abby was. We met up with group of 7 area Dallas-Ft. Worth families who adopted children from Guatemala to see the Frisco RoughRiders play. Lucky for me, this baseball stadium is only 2 miles from my house, so I knew if Abby got bored or tired, I could easily leave. The RoughRiders are the Double AA affiliate of the Texas Rangers, and the team does a great job catering to families. I thought taking Abby to a game like this where the mascot is a major player was better than taking her to a normal Major League game. I was really impressed because Abby lasted until the 6th inning or 2.5 hours in. We didn't stay for the fireworks which turned out to be a good thing. Someone hit a home run earlier in the game, and they set off a small round of fireworks. Abby FREAKED out and was very scared by the noise. I don't feel so bad about not keeping her up for fireworks on 4th of July this year after all......

It was nice meeting some new families and seeing some familiar faces from previous gatherings. There were several children there Abby's age or close to Abby's age that hopefully we will get to know better over the next year or so. Abby loved the mascot. She loves the IDEA of eating hot dogs but never really eats them. Instead, she dumped the dog and dipped an empty hot dog bun in a big cup of 7-up. Yum. Her dinner that night consisted of a hot dog bun, 7 up (she had an upset stomach) and some cotton candy one of the other kids gave her. I know, I don't have any more room for another "Mother of the Year" plaque.

Speaking of Mother of the Year, after about 5 days of Abby complaining of a minor stomach ache from time to time, I took her to the doctor after she developed a pretty unseemly looking rash down the entire middle of her body. She literally bounced into the doctor's office going up to everyone from administrators to nurses saying "Hi doctor, how you doing?" She truly put on a a show and you would have thought she got to go to DisneyWorld. It was plain crazy. It turned out she had strep throat, and I just didn't put all the symptoms together because Abby did very little complaining overall and just seemed normal.

I hosted my book club for our monthly gathering in July, and I was curious to see how Abby would react to seeing so many people in the house at once. Last time, she was a bit scared and clung to me as everyone piled into the house. This time, she was not scared at all and wanted to be part of the action. In fact, we heard her running around upstairs the whole night when she was supposed to be in bed, but we were a rowdy bunch that evening. It was nice to see Abby more comfortable around people she has only met briefly even though it was difficult for me to play host and continue to try and put her back to bed every 15 minutes. Abby so loved the attention!

All By Myself

2010-06-29T12:49:00.001-07:00

All by Myself. Abby utters this phrase 10 times a day. At least. She has gotten so much more confident and independent, it is unbelievable. She wants to do everything by herself, whether she is able to or not is really not a concern of hers. It is heartwarming to see her try it all with close supervision of course, but it does take a lot longer to get going especially when I am trying to get out of the house to get to work at a reasonable hour. It is super funny at public bathrooms when not only does she want to do everything "all by myself", but she wants absolute complete privacy. Love that she wants privacy but I am not leaving my child in public bathroom unattended. I just tell her that I will turn around and face the door inside the stall. You should see the grins I get from the other people in the bathrooms when we meet up at the sinks after they have overheard a typical exchange between Abby and I on this topic.

Abby Loves Swinging from Anything - She Sees a Bar, and She Starts Swinging...

We had a 2nd playdate with M. at his house. We went swimming, played in the sandbox, went to the playground, and played soccer. M is a really generous kid who is good at sharing. I am hoping Abby will get better at sharing. It is one of our bigger challenges right now, at home and at school. Abby is very territorial with her stuff or stuff that she thinks should be hers (but is not). This is one of my concerns with an only child, so I am working on it with her. Some days, she is good. Other days, not so much.

Abby has fully mastered all of her letters as of a few weeks ago. Thanks to E's mom for the tip about Leapfrog Alphabet Factory. Two weeks of watching that DVD was about all it took. Abby loves letters (will she love books eventually, I can only dream!). She loves talking about them and making the sounds, even likes to wear letter stickers over anything else.

We met up with Abby's friends E and M for a lunch at a Guatemalan restaurant, La Mejor, that looked very appealing. M's mother discovered it, and we happened to go the day the restaurant was having its 15th anniversary celebration with free goodies and music. The food was amazing, and the girls had a great time eating and playing together. It was a great find, and I can't wait to go back again. I didn't eat much Guatemalan food when I traveled there because I mostly stayed in a hotel catering to business travelers on my trips to visit and pick up Abby, so it was nice to finally experience true Guatemalan cuisine.

M, Abby and E at La Mejor Guatemalan Restaurant

We were invited to attend a children's play at the Dallas Children's Theatre but couldn't make it because I had a dinner party (and I need my precious adult only time), so we decided to take Grandma instead and go a different day. Abby did so well sititng through a 2 + hour Sesame Street earlier in the year, so I thought she would be able to sit still for a play that I thought she would enjoy. The play, entitled Giggle Giggle Quack, is based on a series of books about farm animals who outsmart their owner that Abby really enjoys, so I didn't think the risk was too great. Abby loved it especially the singing portions. We had great seats which allowed her room to wiggle around when she needed to. She has left her formerly shy persona in the dust. She entertained all the other patrons before the show and during the intermission dancing and jumping around like the theatre was her own personal playground. Grandma got a big kick out of it as well, and it was a nice family outing for the three of us. Dinner after was equally entertaining although a bit exhausting trying to keep up with Abby the Acrobat as she scaled all the booths at the restaurant even when there were people in them. Fortunately, the restaurants and its patrons were kid friendly that day because we made one big mess. Glad it wasn't my house.

First Play - Giggle Giggle Quack at Dallas Children's Theatre

Preschool! Seriously?

2010-05-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

Whatever parent first said it goes so fast had it right. Wow. Truer words have never been spoken. It has been hitting me hard lately that Abby is growing up. Quickly. Confidently. Enthusiasticly. Not so much for her mom here.

Abby moved up to the preschool I class at her school in May. I was not prepared. I think I was just resisting her growing up because preschool to me is for kids who are at least 3. I thought I had another 6 months. Plus, I really really liked one of her teachers. Abby talked about Ms. Sydney all the time, but they said she was ready and they wanted to move her up with her regular possee who she has been with for at least a year already. I guess it made me feel good that the school believed she was advanced enough, and she even moved up ahead of several kids who had already turned 3 because she has generally good to great behavior most of the time and she is is 100% potty trained. But, the main teacher in the preschool class is one of the best at the school, and Abby became a big fan of hers day one. The teacher has given me great feedback about Abby and says she is doing fantastic and is extremely well behaved (except when she's not). She has also noted that Abby has a major stubborn streak. Yes, teacher, I know all too well about that. I have a terrible stubborn streak too. When Abby digs her heels in about something, watch out world....

We met up with Abby's friend E and her mom at the Dallas Aquarium one Friday that I took off from work. The Aquarium is pretty mediocre but we selected it to get out of the heat, and we thought the girls would enjoy it. That they did. Abby remembered E from a few other events we had attended, and the girls hit it off from the get go. It was packed, but we had a great time seeing all the fish, penguins, sloths, turtles and some seriously scary looking reptiles. Abby did not care for those critters and got a bit spooked. We had a great lunch at the Aquarium as well, and it was nice getting to know E's mom a bit better as well. I feel fortunate to have met some other families with Guatemalan children who feel the same way I do about wanting our kids to have some friends that look like them. I have talked a lot to parents with older adopted children, and they all agree that maintaining relationships with other adopted children in tranracial families was a key to their child's development and confidence. I couldn't agree more, and I look for any opportunities I can to foster that as Abby gets older.

Abby and E @ Dallas Aquarium

Turtles

Abby sees her Grandma at least once a week. I love their relationship. Abby calls her "My grandma" in the proudest voice. It is adorable. My mom is just plain silly with her and can get away with it. Abby loves their time together. We usually go to my mom's house on Sundays and go to the farmer's market, shopping or go swimming. Abby swims by herself now just with the little floaties on her arms. She will do laps in the pool and leave me in the dust. She has become quite the little fish. I can't wait to start swim lessons for her in a few months.

Abby doesn't have a big sweet tooth at all, but my mom shows her love with food and introduced Abby to the Golden Oreo. Abby at 5 cookies in one sitting. It was particularly gluttonous and will not be repeated. I couldn't believe it. I have never seen Abby want more than a little of anything sweet. But, one cookie goes a long way to incent Abby to eat all the healthy stuff on her plate at dinner time, so the Golden Oreo can be a good thing.......

Abby and Grandma

Abby Lounging at Grandma's Eating Golden Oreos

Abby After A Swim at Grandma's

Social Butterfly

2010-05-18T09:24:00.000-07:00

Abby's School had a Spring Fling one Saturday. It was a beautiful day, and we had a great time. Standard picninc fare was served, and they had a bounce house, movie, face painting, and all the teachers dressed up. But, none of tha really mattered as far as Abby was concerned. The fact that her best bud, E, came to the Spring Fling was definitely the highlight for Abby. All the teachers talk about how inseparable Abby and E are together, but I had never really seen them play together for an extended time. To see pure joy on Abby's face was amazing. I had a nice time chatting with E's parents as well. E's mother is a teacher, so E will not be in school much over the summer which will be disappointing for Abby, however, I am sure she can adjust even if it won't be quite the same without her there full time. Abby and E ran around holding hands, and jumping up an down for an entire hour. They were like two peas in the pod. I got such a kick out of watching them play together.

Spring Fling Event

Abby's social life is getting pretty busy now that she is getting to the age where she will play with other kids. She has a good buddy in her gym class on Saturdays named M. He is a great kid and has a really cool mom which is great for me. He also lives nearby. They are only 2 weeks apart in age, but M. is about a foot taller than Abby. They are at complete opposite ends of the spectrum size wise for their age group. Abby just adores him and talks about him all the time. She reserves a special smile for him that no one else gets to see. It is just too sweet. We went to his house for a playdate, and Abby and M. had a great time especially playing in M's awesome sandbox that his dad built for him. Abby loved it, and we are talking about signing the kids up for swimming classes together as well when they get too old for gym class later this year.

Abby and M' First Playdate

The following weekend, Abby attended another friend, M's, birthday party in Arlington. It was a beautiful day held in a gorgeous backyard, and M's party was really fun although Abby was a little shy around the other kids. Mostly because of the long drive over to the party, Abby had fallen asleep and was still sleepy and a bit out of it at the beginning of the party. They played Pin the Tail on the Donkey, blew bubbles, and covered themselves in Hello Kitty bandaids from head to toe. M's mother gave out great party favors, and Abby became a big Hello Kitty fan that day. Abby likes to wear the bandaids as some type of badge of honor even when her "boo boo" is not discernable to the naked eye.

M, the Birthday Girl Turned 3

Abby got a great new kitchen that we put in her walk in closet in her bedroom. It is now her favorite toy. She likes to "cook" something everyday, and the kitchen also includes an attached barbeque grill. She has become an master chef in a few short weeks, and loves cooking for others. I am so hopeful that this is a sign that she is going to start bugging me to send her to culinary school later. She certainly isn't going to become a gourment chef by watching me in the kitchen. I am a pathetic novice. I try and when I put my mind to it, I can deliver, however, cooking stresses me out. I just do not feel comfortable. My mother gets scared watching me chop things (I think it is because I am left handed though) It explains why when Abby first got her kitchen, she mostly played with the microwave....

I also bought Abby her first real soccer ball including cones. She loves it. She is a natural already. She even stops it sometimes by putting her foot on top of the ball. She is really quick too. She knows not to use her hands too. I don't think I could be anymore thrilled that Abby already likes the one sport I can really teach her. I plan on signing her up for lessons when she is about 3 1/2, next spring hopefully.

Spring Has Sprung

2010-04-17T11:11:00.000-07:00

wSpring in Texas is a good thing. The oppressive Texas heat hasn't taken its toll on everyone yet, so we try and spend as much time outdoors as possible before we start melting in a few months. Ever since Abby turned 2.5, she has changed dramatically. Not so much in size (still just pint size), but her confidence and personality are really taking shape. She is like a little butterfly coming out of her cocoon. Abby is generally cautious and shy around those she doesn't know, and while that is still evident, she is more and more willing to engage strangers in small talk. I love seeing her more at ease with others. We went to the doctor a few days ago, and for over 2 years, she has cried at every appointment at some point during the visit. This time, she "jumped" onto the scale and willingly followed all of the doctor's direction. At the end of the visit, she said "bye bye doctor, see ya later!". That salutation always means Abby had a good time somewhere. She has surely come a long way.

Abby and Kona

Abby and Her True Love - Choo Choo Trains

After over a year in music classes, Abby has become one of the more active participants in the class. For almost a year, Abby wouldn't sing much in class and wanted absolutely nothing to do with her teacher (the nicest, most dedicated teacher on the planet). But now, Abby makes eye contact with her and sings along to every song even louder than everyone else sometimes! And, after 6 months in her littly gym class, she will say her name loudly and proudly when the teacher goes around the circle asking what kids are in class today. More importantly, for the first time, Abby will do activities by herself (without mommy) with the gym teachers even if the gym teacher is new to the class. She loves the parallel bars especially! I love seeing her confidence and social skills grow. She really loves both her gym and music class now, and I am glad we are continuing to take these classes. Somehow, we have to find room for swimming classes this summer. I promised myself that I would not be one of those moms that jammed in a million activities, but..... I do want to expose her to a lot of things. And, as long as she enjoys it, that is all that matters. The music teacher has asked me to write an article about how much Abby has changed and the importance of not giving up too early on music even when your child shows little interest. If she only realized, how little time I can find for my blog....

I think I will start writing more often. If I can write just a little a time, maybe I can get in a good groove again. Sure, Lisa. Rationalize it, however you want. But, it is worth a try cause writing once every few months is not good enough.

Abby went to Maddox's Super Hero inspired birthday party in March at Jump Town. She had a fantastic time even though most of the kids were older than Abby. She loves pepperoni pizza and the IDEA of cake. Abby always says she wants candy or cake, but then rarely eats anything sweet. Other than ice cream, she has absolutely no sweet tooth. I think she thinks she is supposed to like cake and candy, so it sounds exciting to her. But, she mostly just plays around with it, and leaves it uneaten. This is a GREAT thing. She is, however, a chip and condiment hound. I don't think she has met a condiment she doesn't like. Who knew peaches and ranch dressing went together like peanut butter and jelly?

Maddox Bday Party @ Jump Town

Last fall, we met some really nice folks at a Pumpkin Patch for a get together for families with Guatemalan born children. Fortunately, we met some families with daughters Abby's age that are interested in getting together once in awhile for outings and playdates. We met up with two of these families to spend the day with Thomas the Train at the old Grapevine Railroad. It was fantastic. We had picture perfect weather, and Abby had been looking forward to it for a month. She talks about trains all the time. She will even line up books and pillows in the house to turn them into trains. She sings about trains even before her eyes are open in the morning. It is just plain crazy. So, this was the ideal outing. We met up with M. and E. and their moms, and we all had a great time. It was a carnival/fair type atmosphere with lots of activities for the kiddos like bounce houses and a 30 minute train ride. Abby was pretty shy among her new friends, but she has talked about them since, so I know she liked them! They are all just adorable little girls.

A Day With Thomas and Friends @ Grapevine Railroad

Abby and Mom on the Train (scratch on Abby's face is from a classmate who accidentally nicked her)

Abby and Her New Friends, M. and E.

A few weeks after the Thomas the Train event, we planned to meet up with M. and E. again at the Dallas Arboreteum during the annual Dallas Blooms events which is just spectacularly pretty. We planned for the last weekend of the event, so the place was packed. Parking was offsite, so everyone was running late. We never met up with our friends because of my terrible planning. I got a new cell phone number and forgot to give it to the other ladies we were meeting. And, I didn't have their numbers in my new phone either. We waited for a long time and never found them when we were walking around because there were just too many people. It turns out we just missed them, and I was bummed because I wanted some good adult conversation. Abby still had a good time exploring, but I was exhausted after an hour and half trying to keep up with her. Abby is a little roadrunner - super speedy and has no fear of running off without me. She did NOT want to be in her stroller. People were watching her run around like she was caught on fire just laughing their heads off. Laughing at me trying to keep up with her and probably glad their kids were grown :) She found every maintenance shed and riding lawnmower on the property (at least 7 by my last count). Trying to get her to pose for pictures was a futile effort. She had more important things to do! Days like these make me realize why people have kids in their 20's and 30's as opposed to their 40's :)

Dallas Blooms

Bus Ride From Parking Lot - Abby's Favorite Ride of the Day

2...and a 1/2

2010-03-02T11:20:00.000-08:00

Today, Abby is 2.5. Boy, has she changed a lot. Motherhood keeps getting better and better. I never knew I had the capacity to love someone this much. I keep rationalizing that it is OK that I haven't put Abby's baby book together because I have this blog. Some rationalization when I hardly tend to this blog much. I truly had no idea how time would become such a precious resource! (And, I have committed to updating the baby book before Abby turns 3, so I still have 6 months....)

We did finally have a belated Christmas in Lubbock with family the last weekend of January. It was very low key, and we did have to suffer through another snow storm. But, thankfully, flights were not cancelled, and we made it to Lubbock. Abby got a lot of great clothes and toys from her cousins, and she loved being the center of
attention.

Abby and Eddie Don

Abby and Cousins

My beautiful nieces are such great role models for Abby (hopefully they will stay that way :) ), and are turning into such lovely young ladies. One of my nieces is a rising tennis star, and the other one is an amazing artist who is taking up golf. I can't wait to play with her soon even though she will probably kick my butt. I so do hate to lose at anything! I had such a great time with my nieces watching the America's Next Top Model marathon with them. I had never watched the show, but we watched a few entire seasons. It offered me ample time to catch up with them and find out what was going on in their lives. I mean just because their Facebook status shows "in a relationship", as their aunt, I needed to know what that really meant for 12 and 13 year old girls. It is just one of those moments where you realize how old you are getting when you can remember holding your nieces in your arms one day, and the next day it seems, they are "in a relationship"!

I showed Abby pictures in magazines of girls with short hair and girls with long hair over an over asking her if she wanted to keep growing her hair or get it cut. She decided she wanted it all cut off, so that is what we did. I love letting her hair grow, but she is so petite, and the hair starts to hide her face too much. She got a little bob haircut that looks adorable and is so low maintenance (great for mom..more sleep in the morning).

Abby went to her first concert - Sesame Street Live.

Wow, almost as good as Chicago or Jersey Boys. Ok. Not really. But, for Abby, I think it was the highlight of her young life SO FAR. She loves Elmo like most kids her age so this was right up her alley. I fully expected that she would get restless 30 minutes in and we would be leaving early, but to my surprise, Abby sat still for the full 2 hour show including intermission!! I could not believe how much this concert captivated her attention. She would not take her eyes off of the stage. We had an absolute blast! She still talks about it a month later and sleeps with her Zoe doll we bought at the concert (for those who are otherwise uniformed about Elmo's possee - Zoe is the pink/orange character who is Elmo's BFF). For more on Zoe - check Wikpedia. I think Zoe ranks up there with Elmo and Abby Cadaby as Abby's favorite Sesame Street characters.

What surprises and delights me so much about Abby right now is her ingenuity and problem solving ability. She is so fascinated with how everything works and how things are put together. She wants to dissect or open up everything to see how it operates. She is becoming fiercely independent when she is trying to master a task. For example, when she is going into the bathroom to use it or brush her teeth for example, she insists on turning on the lights. This means, she goes and finds her stool, puts it down, and then turns the light on. If you do it first, she will turn it off and then return it on again. She insists on doing everything herself. If she can't, she will ask for help, but not without trying every which way she can think of first. What a great quality!! She loves big construction equipment -bulldozers, cranes, etc. AND she is starting to get into princesses too. She told me the new construction near our house that we drive past every day is going to be a big castle that she wants to live in. I told her mommy needs a higher paying job first...

For you Abby, until I can get that baby book updated, at 2.5, you:

- count to ten in English and Spanish (almost)
- sing your ABC's
- are potty trained (except at night)
- use the potty by yourself and don't even want mommy in the room at all. "Mommy, leave" is what you say when you want to be alone to take care of your business.
- love to read - favorite book is Dooby Moo (huh?)
- love to jump on the trampoline and swing from the bars at My Gym
- are frightened by car washes
- love music - favorite song is "Chasing Pavements" by Adelle
- love to dance
- love the color pink
- love to dip food in guacamole, hummus, ranch dip, salsa or ketchup - you don't discriminate against any condiment so it seems
- love fish - halibut and shrimp especially
- love calling people on the phone and saying "hi, how you?"
- are speedy. you can slip out of your car seat and into the driver seat in under 2 seconds flat before mommy even knows what has happened
- love, love love choo choo trains

Christmas

2010-01-06T07:59:00.000-08:00

Call me scrooge, but Christmas has always been one of my least favorite times of the year. Not one of those festive type people in general, but Christmas for me as a kid was always stressful and confusing. Having parents go through a very, difficult divorce when you are 10 causing you to split time with different sides of the family and observing both Christmas and Hannukah are a few of the main reasons I feel the way I do. Whatever the case, I always dreaded Christmas. I didn't even like missing school. That speaks volumes about about my nerdiness more than anything else, doesn't it? Jeez. Then, I fully embraced being Jewish as an adult, and I didn't want to celebrate Christmas anymore. It no longer felt right to me. However, this is a tricky situation to maneuver when you are in a mixed religion family. We are just one of many families that navigate this every year, however, I still feel somewhat uncomfortable figuring out the right balance. And, having a child now causes me to look at things differently as well. Abby will definitely be raised Jewish, but I want to replace my negative memories of the holidays with positive ones. And, the only way to do that is to spend time with my family that I love even if Christmas doesn't have the same meaning for me as it does for my Christian family members. I can respect their religion without embracing it, and that is what I will continue to do and teach Abby to do as she gets older.

We planned to travel to West Texas for Christmas this year, and my mom, Abby, Uncle Bob, and I left for the airport around 9 AM on Christmas Eve day. We never made it to our destination. Major snow and wind shut down the airport for a time and although we kept getting word that our flight would indeed leave, the closest we ever made it to Lubbock was boarding the plane. 7 hours later, three very irritable adults and one amazingly happy toddler turned around and headed back home as our flight was finally cancelled at about 5:30 PM with no available flights the following day either on any airline. It seems the snow and wind kept planes grounded in Lubbock, and we could never get out of Dallas. Abby didn't cry at all the entire stay in the Dallas airport even with only a 30 minute power nap. She never ceases to amaze me.

Christmas 2009

She was incredible. She likes to be "on the go" so we spent a good chunk of time walking around and potty training in the public bathrooms. I know. You are jealous. My daughter actually prefers public bathrooms (ick). I could have her potty trained in a jiffy if we just moved into the airport for a weekend, I believe.

So, we spent Christmas in Dallas and it was extremely low key. We were so disappointed not to see the rest of our family. I think I was looking forward to this Christmas the most because my nieces had a lot of wonderful things planned, and Abby is at such a cute stage and would have loved playing with her cousins. I felt really bad for my uncle who traveled the day before from North Carolina and does celebrate Christmas. He got stuck in Dallas with his Jewish relatives who had no tree, decorations or anything "Christmasy" at all. What a far cry from my brother and sister-in-law's home which is always very festive and beautifully decorated for the holidays. The silver lining was that we got to spend more time with my uncle than we normally would have. We have already planned another trip in a few weeks to see everyone in Lubbock. Let's hope the weather cooperates!

"Hi, Me!"

2009-12-15T06:37:00.001-08:00

Hi, Me!!! Seriously. What is that about? Well, that is Abby's latest, cutest, new expression. She has really taken a big interest in clothes lately. Every time she gets something new to wear, she tries it on and says "mirror" so that I can lift her up to look at herself (maybe it is time to get her a full length one?). Upon seeing herself in the mirror, Abby exclaims "hi, me!!" with the biggest grin known to man on her face. I love it!

It has been far too long since I last blogged. I figured out that I don't blog when I am really stressed out which explains the sabbatical over the last 2+ months. Eye Herpes. Viruses. Hives. Home Remodeling. New Boss. Company Layoffs - Again. These have been some of the main stresses, but things are back on the upswing now (and not a moment too soon). Abby had some blistering on the outside of her eyelid back in early September at the tail end of terrible virus in which she lost almost 3 lbs in week. The doctor said it was herpetic but it eventually healed. A few months later after another virus, her left eye became red and swollen. The doctor diagnosed her with pink eye, but when the eye drops not only didn't clear it up but it seemed to be getting worse, her pediatrician referred us to a pediatric opthamologist.

I was simply not prepared to listen to Abby scream and scream while the doctor opened her eye to get a good look at what was going on. Abby did not want to cooperate and squeezed her eyes shut so tight that the doctor and nurse combo could not get her eye open. Out came the mini forceps. Not something you want to see anywhere near your child's eye. We laid her down on my lap with my arms wrapped around her legs. The nurse anesthetized her eye, and the doctor clamped the forcep like thing on her eye to keep it wide open. Meanwhile, mom here was sobbing silently and uncontrollably the entire time.

He put a dye in her eye which showed that she had corneal opacity and abrasions on her cornea. Diagnosis changed from pink eye to herpes. Herpes is never a good thing but it extremely dangerous in the eye. We don't know how she got it, but she seems prone to outbreaks when she is extremely run down or otherwise sick. He put her on anti-virals and steroid drops (for the eye inflammation) and asked us to return in one week. I was to give her drops every two hours. I got great help from Abby's daycare and worked at home much of the week so I could keep her home some and go up to daycare regularly to give her drops. It was harried and hectic. Meanwhile, just days before I had contracted with someone to put in wood floors and new kitchen counters. In hindsight, it turned out to be terrible timing. I broke out in the nastiest rash that covered 75% of my body(don't worry, I won't post pictures as there are laws against that kind of thing). And, I had never had one rash in my entire life before, so I guess when I do things, I do them big. This was just plain crazy. I itched and itched, and there were days that I just wanted someone to set my skin on fire. The dermatologist said it was a rash for the medical journals, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. Music to my ears. Not. He prescribed cream that was $75 for 1 oz. Didn't work. Still itched. They took a biopsy a week later after it continued to get worse. Hives. WTF? But, I was so glad it wasn't anything serious. Pathologist determined with 90% probability it was a drug reaction, and sure enough, I had started a new medication weeks before. I believe the stress of the home remodeling and Abby's eye infection were too much to bear for me. I was happy with my contractor overall, however, we did not communicate that well at times (my fault being a novice at this kind of thing). I came home one day to see that the entire contents of my house were in my front and back yard. I walked in to my house, and it looked like a bomb went off inside. My contractor told me it would be dusty to drill up all of the ceramic tile I had in my house to replace the floors, but dusty was an understatement to say the least. It was simply not livable especially since Abby had the eye issues going on. We stayed with friends for a few nights while my contractors finished up, and I took a day off work to clean. All the dust rose to the second level of my house (high ceilings = bad here), and everything I owned that was left inside upstairs was covered in 3 inches of dust. I LOVE my new floors, and my kitchen looks a lot better as well with new counters and back splash. But, I will do things differently next time and not make assumptions that my contractor should know or will know certain things. But, I was so consumed with Abby's eye that minor home improvement issues just didn't seem that important in the scheme of things.

We went back to the eye doctor the week of Thanksgiving, and he said it looked worse. He thought maybe the drops were too toxic and prescribed new medications for her immediately. This time around I was prepared for the forceps and was able to keep it together during Abby's screamathon. He scared me because he said that if her eye got any worse that he would come in on Thanksgiving and see her. His office even called the day before and checked on her. Fortunately, the new medication began working immediately, and I was more optimistic. She was taking oral antibiotics, ointment, and two different eye drops for a week, so we were basically taking something every hour of the day. Single parenting kicked my butt this week, that is for sure. By the end of the week, I was beginning to finally see BOTH of Abby's beautiful brown eyes, and when we went back to the doctor the next week, he said her opacity had been reduced significantly, and her corneal abrasions were gone. Until Abby is old enough to cooperate for a vision test, we don't know what effect, if any, this has on her vision. The doctor said that the opacity that are still in her eye were not affecting her vision field from what he could see, and we really don't know if this is something she could have been born with or not because he never looked at her eye before she had any infection. For now, the eye looks clear and there is no more swelling. She is more beautiful than ever. If that's possible.

Other stuff happened during these months. Highlights. Abby's love affair with cars is growing. She wants to drive everywhere. I am not kidding. I thought this would happen in about 13 or 14 years, but not now. She just likes to sit in the driver seat, push all the buttons, move the gears, etc. and pretend she is driving to the beach or school.

Sometimes we just sit in the garage for a bit while she "drives". Jeez. If she can't drive, at times, you would think someone was cutting off of both of her arms. Thankfully, she has stopped with the tantrums when I put her in her car seat knowing that I will let her drive eventually.

We spent one wonderful afternoon at the Flower Mound Pumpkin Patch with several other families who had adopted children from Guatemala. It was a nice group of people, and there were about 5 other kids that were Abby's age. Hopefully, we will have more opportunities to get to know them better. It was the first nice day in a long while, so there were several thousand people there. Of course, Abby wanted to run wild and free turning the day into an aerobic exercise for me for three hours as I tried to keep up with her. She ran into the hay maze, and it was so tall that I couldn't see her for a bit although I was amazed by her confidence to run through it so quickly and easily.

Abby in Hay Maze
Fortunately, we posted parents at the exit and entrances to keep the kiddos safe.

Abby's First Pumpkin Patch

She is still loving her My Gym class every weekend and getting more and more confident doing activities. She loves climbing the rock wall, jumping on the trampoline, and doing the balance beam. She has warmed up to her teachers especially Miss Addie who she likes to give a big hug to at the end of class. She dressed up like Abby Cadabby from Sesame Street for Halloween and wore her the costume to My Gym that day as well.

And, she handed out candy at the front door to the bigger kids who were trick or treating. Next year, Abby will be one of them.

Abby and Grams At Fretz Park

Perfect Destin-ation

2009-09-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

We took Labor Day week and went to Destin for Abby's first beach vacation. It was perfect. Great condo, oceanfront view, sunshine and 80 degrees every day, and a non-stop smile on Abby's face for a week.

View From Condo

I love it when a vacation comes together like that. Even the airplane rides went better than all previous trips. It really helped having my friend Michele with us to give me a hand. It was the first trip I have had with Abby where I had an extra set of hands on the plane, and it made everything just a little bit better.

Every day was the same. Beach all morning. Lunch and nap in early afternoon, and pool in the late afternoon. It was just great. No beach trip is relaxing with a toddler, but I knew that going in. We stayed in Miramar Beach area which is very close to San Destin and a little less populated than in the heart of Destin.

It was semi-crowded over Labor Day, but once that passed, we had 5 days on the beach with relatively few people. It really helped that we waited until after school started to go there.

Michele and Abby

Abby loved, loved, loved the ocean. I couldn't keep her out of it. She had a blast riding the waves, and laughed hysterically each and every time. There is nothing better than listening to your child laugh knowing that this moment is the BEST moment they have had in their short life to that point. She played in the sand for a New York minute every day, but then she would point and say "Mommy, water, water" and beg to be taken in the ocean.

Abby Playing in Sand

Look, Ma, No Legs!

I could not believe it. Destin is the perfect swimming beach. Little teaser waves, crystal clear water, and smooth sandy bottom. She loved seeing the fish up close, and she also got to see a few dolphins as well. You won't see too many pictures from our trip because I was always in the ocean with her (and I am not keen on pics of myself in a bathing suit going on a blog either :). I was so waterlogged by the end of the trip.

Abby and Mom

If she wasn't in the ocean, Abby would sit on the beach, but only if she could eat Cheetos. Ok, it was vacation. She got her fill of Cheetos every day and then some. Wow, this kid digs her some Cheetos.

Breakfast of Champions

Abby's other obsession in Destin was the public bathroom. Gross. We had just started potty training, and so Abby used this trip as an opportunity to check out each and every public bathroom we came across to do her business. Of course, I encouraged this, but she had to check out each and every stall thoroughly before selecting one, so each trip was a little mini adventure. I couldn't even get her to "go" in the ocean. Oh well. I guess that is kind of a hard concept to explain to a 2 year old.

Abby turned an even more beautiful shade of brown than she already is during the trip. I put 70+ sunscreen on her religiously, and she never burned, but she can get tan in a hurry.

Abby @ Baytowne Wharf, San Destin

So many people came up to me and told me how darling and cute she was (duh!), but they don't call the northern Florida panhandle the "Redneck Riviera" for nothing. It is a well earned nickname. I saw my share of confederate flag boogie boards and mullets. But, the question I heard that summed up everything was a question that I got from people who obviously were trying to figure out Abby's ethnic background. Ready for it. OK. "What is she mixed with?" Had never heard that before. I hope I don't hear it again. I rarely if ever get any questions living in Texas about whether Abby is adopted or what race she is. But, when I travel, I occasionally get a question about where she was born or if she is adopted. But not, "what is she mixed with"? spoken in slow, southern accent. I don't understand how people feel compelled to ask that at all let alone when you haven't even spoken to them before that! How I respond really depends on how people ask, whether we have had a conversation beforehand, and what kind of mood I am in . Sometimes, it opens up a conversation you don't really want to have with a complete stranger. I hope to get better at addressing these questions so that when Abby hears me respond, she always feels loved, wanted, and confident in her own skin. That is all that matters.

Happy Birthday!

2009-09-02T07:35:00.001-07:00

Happy 2nd birthday, Lil Abs! I can't believe you are 2.

I thought I would jot down a few things about you at this age, so when my memory fails, and you are writing your elementary school autobiography, we will have something to rely on.

1) You are 31 1/4 inches tall.
2) You weigh 23 lbs.
3) Your body mass index is PERFECT according to your pediatrician, Dr. M.
4) You are the most petite child in your class and in the 5% for all kids worldwide in your age group.
5) You have 75-80 words in your vocabulary.
6) The first word out of your mouth almost every morning is "shoes".
7) You are obsessed with shoes. I think this is my fault. I don't think most 2 year olds have 10 pairs of shoes that fit them.
8) You love purses and backpacks. You love wearing your flowered backpack to school when Mommy lets you. You never want to take it off.
9) You love watching "Wonder Pets". Ming Ming (duck) is your favorite.
10) You love watching baseball (when it means you get to stay up later and not have to go to bed).
11) You are very loving and affectionate with those that you are comfortable with.
12) You are a neat freak. You insist on putting all your toys away and putting everything in its rightful place before we leave the house everyday. I LOVE THIS!
13) You are a great cleaner upper at school according to your teachers.
14) You do not like to sit still during "circle time" at school, but you have started to a little bit lately.
15) You love to color and draw. On paper and walls. Washable crayons are the best invention since TIVO/DVR.
16) You love swimming and the water. If you could wear your bathing suit everyday you would.
17) You love to pretend you are a frog and jump up and down in the bathtub saying "ribbit!"
18) You love dogs and cats and squirrels (yuck). I think you are more of a dog person, but cats are gaining ground.
19) Your favorite foods are broccoli, spinach, carrots, shrimp, chicken and cheese.
20) The first day we bought you a little frog potty for the bathroom, you used it and have continued to use it every day like clockwork the entire week of your birthday. I haven't seen a dirty diaper yet except in the morning after a long night's sleep. It is the first thing you want to do in the morning.

21) If someone asks you old you are, you tell them "two" in really deep voice. Sometime you hold up two fingers.
22) You love your "My Gym" classes on the weekends. You like doing gymnastics and going on the swings there particulary.
23) Your favorite musical artists are Coldplay and Jason Mraz. Especially Jason lately.
24) Your favorite toys you got for your 2nd birthda are your new ABC delivery truck, your traveling drawing set, your "Wonder Pets" schoolhouse, your first doll named "Maddie", and your Snow White tea set.
25) You don't like being dirty. You enjoy a clean environment. Yea!

San Francisco

2009-08-26T09:57:00.000-07:00

Abby and I went to San Francisco at the end of July for 4 days. I have a pretty small family, but as it turns out now, a good chunk of them live in the Bay Area now including two of my three brothers. Not a bad place to spend a long weekend if you ask me. San Francisco is definitely one of my favorite cities. We stayed with my aunt and uncle who live in Nob Hill with a spectacular view of the city.

View from Living Room

Not bad digs at all. They had so many toys for Abby to play with because they have five grandchildren, so Abby was in heaven from the moment she arrived. She just loves exploring new things, and she had a great time sauntering up and down their hallways as well. We went down to the Ferry Building in the Embarcadero area for dinner the first night we arrived. We walked around some of the shops and saw Howard Dean in a bookstore. Abby wasn't too interested (although I am sure she will be a Democrat. Of course, it will be her choice. I am just sayin').

We spent the next day mostly in Oakland and Orinda visiting with the rest of the family. Abby, my Uncle Bob and I spent a few hours at the Oakland Zoo. I am not a big fan of zoos, but when you have an almost 2 year old, you do whatcha got to do. I would not recommend this zoo unless your mission in life is to see the zoos of the world, and you just want to check it off your list. Abby did really enjoys the giraffes and the petting zoo though.

Abby and Papa Bob

Sleeping Alligator

It was just nice to get a little one-on-one time with my uncle (sorta. you never really get one-on-one time with a 2 yr old around) and just walk around in beautiful 70 degree weather since we are used to 100+ degree temperatures in Texas at this time of year. We spent the rest of the day and dinner with our cousins and Abby's uncles at my cousins' beautiful home in Orinda. They have three young boys ages 4-9 who had every conceivable type of sports equipment and car under the sun stored outside in a sports shed. They had an amazing sport court installed in an breathtakingly beautiful backyard.

View of Back of House

Sport Court Hidden in Back

Abby immediately ran outside to the sports shed without asking for directions and proceeded to get into every toy riding car and golf cart in the shed. She had a blast playing playing some combination of tether ball and tennis while all the old folks were inside chatting and preparing food.

The Next Olympic Sport? Tether Tennis Anyone?

Abby's First Pit Stop in the Sport Shed

Abby wasn't into socializing or chit chatting when all the fun stuff was outside. Our cousins, Brett, Kyle, and Drew showed us their amazing little house designed to resemble a tree house (without the tree) placed at the top of their terraced back yard. It was the perfect little hideaway for little boys to play with their bugs and other crawly things.

It was really nice to see my brothers who I hadn't seen in about a year and a half and who had never met Abby.

Abby and Her Youngest Uncle Jess

Abby and Her Second Youngest Uncle Josh

One of my brothers recently started his own flower business. He grows a special type of flowering plant that has, among other things, therapeutic powers. He has a great business model having worked in this industry for a number of years. It is not legal to grow this type of flower in all states, but it is legal where my brother lives. He has a lot of good business connections and really knows what he is doing. He has traveled the world since he was in high school and is interested in settling down in Northern California, and this business affords him that opportunity. My youngest brother was just back from a stint in Latin America and was taking classes at a local university to teach English As A Second Language to students and businessmen in the Far East, so we were really lucky that he was in California while we were visiting. We spent some time at my brother's workplace (and temporary home) the following day. The space was perfect for his flowers, and I was thoroughly impressed by all the work that my brother has put into his new business. He has a three story space, and they were using the street level portion of it as temporary living quarters. This part of the space reminded me of a fraternity house that hadn't been cleaned in, well, forever. I could not even put Abby down on the floor. Abby and I are both neat freaks, so this really was a shock to my senses. No big deal because it was just a short term living situation for both of my brothers. The happy ending massage parlor next door and the porn shop across the street really was the icing on the cake :)

The eleven of us had a picnic in the park on Sunday, and that was really a great time for me personally because I got to catch up quite a bit with my cousins and my brothers while still being able to watch Abby and make sure she didn't fall of the playground equipment.

Aunt Ellen and Uncle Bob

Monique and Brett
Kyle

Drew

David

It was a very relaxing time for everyone. Weather was perfect, and conversation was great. This was one of those moments where I really wished I lived closer to these family members. I decided that I would come back and visit at least once a year with Abby especially now that two of my brothers are kind of establishing roots there as well.

We just had a wonderful trip, and Abby really blossomed around so many new people. She was engaging, charming and very talkative with everyone especially her great aunt and uncle (Lala and Papa Bob) who were wonderful hosts for our visit. We spent our last night eating out at a place in the City that Abby really enjoyed. She took her first cable car ride, and I am hoping she doesn't remember a thing. It was so crowded, and the conductor told us I had to sit down with Abby or at least sit Abby down by herself. Unfortunately, there was no room to even move, and Abby freaked out bit. Even with her crying, the young man nearest us (maybe about 30) refused to give up his seat for two blocks. My aunt read him the riot act. Then, possibly the largest woman on the cable car close to 300 lbs who was in her 60s offered to get up, but there was just no where for her to go. It was 5 minutes of anguish for Abby and I. Next time, we will take a cab.

We headed back home on Monday. Our flight was delayed, and I was feeling a little deja vu again that we might encounter another travel nightmare because her nap was scheduled perfectly with the original departure time. We strolled around the airport, and just as Abby was going to finally fall asleep, out of the blue, we run into one of her classmates, Lola, with her dad. They were on the same flight we were, and of course, as soon as Abby saw someone from home she recognized, she bolted out of her stroller, and she and Lola started running and skipping through the airport. It was great that they were having fun killing time, but we paid for it. Well, actually all the passengers on our flight paid for it. We were seated in the middle of the plane, and Abby was so overtired at this point that she literally cried almost non-stop for 1 hour of the 3+ hour flight. No exaggerations. This was simply the worst. I tried everything I could to get her to stop crying, but she wasn't having any of it. About 40 minutes into the crying, a man sitting a few rows behind me tapped me on the shoulder and said "excuse me, is your baby sick?". Not words you want to hear at a time like that. When I said no, he said "CAN YOU PLEASE DO SOMETHING?" I kept my cool and explained that if there was something I could do, I would be doing it. I suggested he use the complimentary headphones that were handed out for the movie. He didn't like my suggestion. This is something many of us have thought before when a baby cries, but I was kind of surprised that he confronted me about it. After he left, and once Abby stopped crying, the man in front of me leaned back and told me Abby 's crying didn't bother him one bit, he has 3 kids of his own, etc. Then, after we landed a short time later, Abby was asleep, and I waited until everyone deplaned before we got off. At least 6 or 7 people stopped by my seat and said "we have all been there", "you're my hero", or words to that effect. I actually felt more like a parent in that moment than ever before for some reason. Unlike my last trip, I didn't melt down or lose my patience. I just endured it and loved on Abby more and more the harder she cried. Abby is a very strong willed little girl. This is bound to serve her well later in her life. Just not on long flight from the West Coast.

5 states now visited by Abby. Next up, Florida.

Walking in Memphis

2009-08-03T12:29:00.001-07:00

And walking. and walking. and walking some more. Read it and cry or laugh. That is what I did. Cried first. Laughed later. Much later.

I am a few months behind here as we have already taken another trip since this one, but we went to Maryland in June to visit my closest friend and her family. What an absolute blast we had! But, getting there. Well, that is another story.

We arrived to DFW airport early morning one day after a night of tornadoes and thunderstorms in our area. A call to American on the way (while driving in a blinding thunderstorm) to the airport yielded "your flight is on time" from the perky little automaton. Once we got the airport and my mom dropped us off, about 15 minutes later, American announced that all flights to Baltimore the entire day were cancelled. I got in line to get reticketed somehow someway because we had plans to go to an amusement park in PA the very next day, and I wanted to get to Baltimore any way we could if at all possible. My mom turned around to come back to the airport and help with Abby which was a blessing because I stood in line for 2 solid hours before I could get rebooked. I got on a connecting flight to Baltimore through Memphis which didn't seem so bad all in all because the layover in Memphis was only supposed to be 2 hours. It seemed manageable. I could feed Abby there and since it would be naptime, she could sleep in her stroller. Well, the travel gods were not on our side this day. The flight to Memphis from DFW gets delayed because the weather has created such havoc with flights nationwide, that we had to wait in a queue for fuel for a few hours. We finally boarded the plan although I was already run ragged being at DFW now for 6 hours. Abby certainly keeps me on my toes at all times. I put my stroller EXACTLY where the American rep told me to and got on board. Abby and I settled in for an uneventful, pleasant flight to Memphis. As we exited the plane, I don't see my stroller where they normally put it and neither did the other two people on the flight with strollers. Uh oh. American tells us to get it at the baggage claim. Great, I have two bags and a 23 lb baby to carry through this airport looking for my stroller. Guess what? No stroller at baggage claim. Patience. Not my strong suit. But, I was trying mightily to keep it together. I went to the lost baggage department and waited around to see if there was anyone working. 10 minutes later, an airport employees tells me to stand in the line at the American ticket counter for assistance. I wait in line for 25 minutes only to have the American rep tell me "it ain't her job to do luggage". This is when the floodgates broke. I couldn't get anyone to help me, I was tired, Abby was cranky but still behaving well under circumstances..she just wanted to be put down, and I also found out that my flight to Baltimore was now delayed for 6 hours because there was no airline crew anymore to fly the plane. Kind of a dealbreaker. The realization that I was in an airport with a hungry, tired toddler with no stroller for 6 more hours did me in. To say I had a meltdown is an understatement. I am actually ashamed that I could break this easily. I was literally walking around the airport loaded down with bags and Abby BAWLING my eyes out. Hyperventilating too. Too bad, I don't have a picture because I really wanted to send it in to Parenting Magazine for their July issue on coping skills.

Things that are really difficult when you don't have a stroller - getting your ID out to go back through security so you can get something to eat, going into a restroom, talking on a cellphone, heck, doing just about anything when you have no free hands is nearly impossible. By the way, to the nice young lady who prevented Abby from falling down the escalator in baggage claim while I got my ID out of my wallet, I really appreciate your quick kick save move saving my daughter from a bad fall. While I was grateful, this just reinforced what was already a full blown meltdown for me.

Aside from the fact that I am not Chinese and don't speak Cantonese, this video actually captures the scene in the Memphis airport very well.

After I finally gathered myself, I searched high and low for a stroller in the stores at the airport and finally found a smartcarte that you use to haul suitcases and plopped Abby into that. It was not ideal because it was so big, had a terrible turn radius, and Abby couldn't sleep in it, but it was better than nothing. Sorry to the people whose feet I ran over in the gate area with that contraption. And, sorry to those in the bathroom who got trapped in their stalls as I tried to navigate in there. I kept telling people that I really wasn't this obnoxious of a person, but my airline FORGOT TO LOAD MY STROLLER!!

We had 7 hours to kill, after trying everything from food to DVD watching to coloring, we still had so much time on our hands. Abby loves to people watch, so I pushed her in the smartcarte for close to 5 hours up and down every corridor, every concourse, over and over and over. I honestly think we strolled for 10 miles by the time it was all said and done. I used to really like Memphis. I have fond memories of college soccer tournaments, good barbeque, and nice people. But, now I associate Memphis with my worst travel nightmare.

Now nearing 10 PM and after 14 hours in airports, we were standing in line to board, and a woman came up to me and she was crying. She said she had seen me in DFW and wanted to know if there was anything she could do to help. She said she had two young children and really understood what I was going through. I started crying again and told her that I didn't need any help, but that she restored my faith in humanity becuase she was the first person all day that asked if I needed help. I was so grateful for her kindness and understanding. As it turns out, I sat by her husband on the plane who was equally as nice, and he made numerous attempts to befriend Abby during the flight.

We landed around midnight, and it was such a sight for sore eyes to see my friend at the baggage claim knowing we had arrived safely and could start having a good time. Tomorrow. One last note on this leg of the trip - the woman who asked if she could help came up to me at the Baltimore baggage claim and told me that everything was going to be OK. Why? Because Jesus loves me. For those reading this blog that truly know me, they will understand why that comment was the perfect cherry on top to this story.

We got up the next morning and Abby and I, Sam, Erza, Lisa and Drew loaded up the car for a short trip over the PA border to a wonderful amusement park called Dutchland.

It is designed for young children under 10, and we had a 5, 3, and almost 2 year old on board. Abby hit another one of her milestones before we even got there much to the chagrin and disgust of Sam and Ezra. She threw up in the car. A lot. Probably all the activity from the long day before and the motion did her in. Lisa pulled over, and we cleaned everything up. Abby instantly felt better. We knew that she wasn't sick, so we looked at this as a minor pitstop for the day. Sam and Ezra spent the next 3-4 days asking "Is Abby going to throw up again?". In their eyes, it will take a while for Abby to live that one down.

The kids all had a blast. The boys did the the more challenging heart stopping rides, but there was a lot for Abby to do. There were a lot of rides that we could ride together, and we had fun riding the train, the log flume, slides, and the 4 or 5 different vehicle oriented rides which Abby just loved! One ride in particular that Sam and Ezra wanted to do - the "frog ride" - seemed right up Abby's alley. She loves speed, frogs, and the requirements stated she was big enough to do it by herself. What I learned on this trip was to always trust my gut. I didn't do it here, and disaster ensued. Abby told me she wanted to get on, but I really thought she was too small. I got caught up in the moment and put her in. Immediately, but after it was too late because the ride started, I realized my mistake. Abby screamed. The ride was too high for her. How was she supposed to know? She wasn't. I was, and I let her down big time. This picture of my worst parenting move to date says a thousand words. Abby is third from the right. Yea, that little precious speck of a person.

Granted, the kid next to her was probably too big for this ride, but any one looking at this picture would realize Abby is too small. The bar to the seat covers her face so you can't see her crying. I don't know if she was crying because I wasn't on the ride with her (because that happened on some really tame rides also) or if the ride was just too scary. Either way, it was a very dumb move on my part.

Here is Abby on a ride that was more her speed.

Abby liked cars a lot before our trip to Maryland. Now, she is obsessed with them! She spent 4 days with little boys who had hundreds of cars, all shapes and sizes, and Abby loved every minute of playing with them. Sam and Ezra are older and they "tolerated" Abby playing with their toys. But, we didn't expect them to be much of playmates at the ages they are right now. They all kind of did their own thing, but with a wonderful basement full of toys and a great big beautiful yard, all the kids had a great time.

Abby On an Expedition in the Yard

Ezra in His Diego Jeep (On Abby's Birthday Wish List For Sure)

Abby Contemplating Fire Rescue as a Career

Abby Channeling Her Inner Danica Patrick

It is always good to spend time with the friends you care about most, and Abby and I were treated to a wonderful time by our friends. Great food, great fun playing and swimming, and great conversation. After a few days, Abby warmed up to everyone and loved exploring another cool house.

Abby in Sam's Elmo Chair

I always leave these trips a little wistful wishing I could spend more time with my friends that I care about most. We just make the most of the time we spend together and then look forward to next time. Abby checked off two more states on this trip to the East Coast - Maryland and Pennsylvania bringing up her total states visited to 4. #5, California, is next up.

She Speaks

2009-07-14T10:22:00.000-07:00

It was like the floodgates opened. Abby had tubes put in her ears in mid May due to chronic ear infections. The day after the surgery, Abby really started talking quite a bit. It could have been a coincidence, however, she had so much fluid built up in her ears and had developed a resistance to most antibiotics, that she probably felt like she was under water most of the time. She had a hearing test which was normal except she had some temporary hearing loss which Dr. B expected would be corrected by the surgery.

I should have had the surgery a few months before, however, better late than never. We arrived at the surgery center before 5 AM, Abby was prepped, and we waited for her turn with Dr. B and his team. The pediatric surgery center was first class all the way, and Abby's surgery went off without a hitch. I waited in the waiting room, and before I could even figure out which magazine to read, Dr. B opened the door and told me everything went great, and she would in the recovery room in 5 minutes. The entire time she actually spent in the surgery room was under 20 minutes. Abby came out a little groggy but in a good mood. The nurse took her vitals, gave her some juice, and we were on our way back home by mid morning. Abby did check off another first on her list - First Vomit. No need for details here except to say it was no big deal since she hadn't eaten in about 16 hours. The anesthesia clearly got to her. Other than being a wee bit startled, Abby handled it all with aplomb. It has been smooth sailing for 2 months now with no illnesses or ear infections at all.

Abby went back to school the next day, and a few weeks later at the beginning of June, Abby got moved up into the Early Preschool I classroom. I thought they didn't move her until she turned 2, but the director told me that Abby was "bored" (aka tearing up the joint) and needed more stimulation. Her new class is a lot different with much more structure. I have gone to Abby's school for lunch a few times and watched how the teachers interact with the kids. There are about 14 kids ages 18 months to 2.5 years in her class. Abby truly loves school. She loves playing outside, water play days, movie days, and drawing/coloring especially. She has gotten a few gold stars from her teachers because she is one of the best at putting toys away and cleaning up after meals, painting, etc. Actually, Abby will pick up every piece of trash in her path. I should get her on the payroll at the Parks Department because every time we go to a playground, she must pick up every piece of trash, no matter how small, and throw it away. The hygiene issue aside, it is hard to discourage a born environmentalist!!!

Abby has about 30 words in her vocabulary now. Her favorite words are shoes, baseball, momma, and outside. Her first official sentence with a subject and a verb came on 6/13 when she said "I poo poo!". Ok, maybe not Shakespeare but music to a mother's ears nonetheless. I love that she loves shoes and baseball since they are two of my favorite things as well. She doesn't sit still for much, but she will actually sit still and watch baseball with me. I love it! I can't wait until she is a little older to actually take her to a baseball game in person. They have a great double AA baseball team that plays a few miles from my house, and the experience is extremely kid friendly. We will be regulars at these games next spring/summer.

Abby is still taking music classes every weekend. She really likes it but is much more participatory at home than in class. I think the music teacher freaks her out with her theatrics, but she is a great teacher, and Abby is still benefiting from the class quite a bit. She loves playing the drums and the free dance period especially. We'll probably take a break for a few semesters and sign up for some Little Gym classes. Abby is all about climbing these days. She climbs anything and everything. I wish I was taller because I am like her own personal jungle gym. One of the other kids in her class started climbing on me last week, and Abby did NOT approve. Abby kept pulling the little girls hands off me until she got the message. Kind of ironic because Abby sat on someone last week in an attempt to "play" and promptly got bit by the kid. This is Abby's 5th time to get bit in school (she has not bitten anyone so far). No excuse for the biting, but Abby shouldn't have been sitting on the little girl either and not letting her get up. Can't overreact to these things becuase I know the odds are one day, Abby could be the "biter", and I would want understanding not scorn if that happens.

Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie, Chevrolet, and Abby

2009-07-02T16:52:00.000-07:00

All American. As American as baseball and apple pie. She is in good company there :) It took almost a year and turned out to be more challenging then many of the parts of the adoption process, but Abby became an American citizen via a swearing in ceremony on 4/15/09. Tax Day. More fitting than you know because I was truly excited to get Abby's U.S. Citizenship declared, celebrated and documented so that I could rush over to the Social Security office, get her a SS #, file my taxes, and collect a sizable tax refund. Task complete. SS # and refund in hand within two months. Massive overspending on items we probably don't need has been underway since!

The citizenship ceremony was nice for anyone other than a parent of a toddler. Seriously, 5 hours in a government office (albeit a nice, new, well lit airy one) is no fun with a toddler. There is nothing to do and for some reason, the security guards had a problem with Abby playing with the metal detector and conveyor belt. Imagine that! The ceremony is held on a semi-regular basis for children of U.S. citizens. The majority of the several hundred kids there were teenagers who had their cell phones to keep them busy while they waited. My mom, Michele, Abby and I arrived early, checked in with Homeland Security official, and then waited and waited until all the people who were scheduled to show up did in fact show up - hence the 5 hour process. The paperwork said she became a citizen almost a year prior when she was officially readopted in Texas, but without the official certificate and ceremony, we really had no proof. You just can't ask why with some of these procedures. They are simply to be endured so you can cross the finish line and get the US Citizenship.

Abby after finishing initial check in paperwork

Getting Abby her US Citizenship was a relief. It was truly the final piece ensuring Abby has all the same rights and privileges under the law that I do as an American. I have read too many horror stories of children adopted from other countries whose citizenship status was pending for years and years. Some of these children were not able to get driver's licenses or get financial aid to go to college plus the current political climate at the time made me a bit uneasy anyway. I have seen first hand through this process how non American citizens can be treated, even little babies, and it struck me as wrong on so many levels. I have a new found sympathy on a human level for those trying to better their lives who seek employment in the U.S.

Once we checked in, we went into the "ceremony room" where there were two areas - one for those getting citizenship and one for the friends and family there for support. I left my mom and Michele and went and sat on the chairs with the small plastic American flags and copies of the U.S. Constitution. Abby didn't show a lot of interest in what the Founding Fathers had to say or write, but the plastic flags sure seemed mighty tasty to her. I tried bribing her with every snack I packed in my bag, but she wanted to take all the flags off the chair. The "take the flag, hide the flag, retrieve the flag, put the flag back on the chair" game grew tiresome quickly. I was ready to get on with the show.

Finally, an authority type figure explained how we were to take an oath, recite some non objectionable statements and then wait for our name to be called when our certificate was ready. I raised my right hand, took the oath on behalf of Abby and waited patiently. A short time later, the certificate was delivered, and we were free to leave. Michele took a few pictures of us from the cheap seats where she and my mom were sitting, and my mom spent the time getting to know the life stories of the other families who were also waiting that morning. Abby behaved well but was not overly interested in the proceedings. A cute older boy (about 5) kept staring at Abby playing flirty flirty with her. It was cute. Abby played hard to get (good move, Abs). If she was older, this would have been much more meaningful ceremony. But, honestly, it was only because her paperwork in Guatemala was approved so quickly (prior to my first visit to Guatemala) that dictated the type of immigrant visa she traveled home with. Given all the troubles we could have had, waiting for the US Citizenship was really nothing in the scheme of things.

Abby and I taking the Oath

Photo Ops with Flag and Statute of Liberty

Abby at the Park - Her American moments. Well not distinctly American, but because I mentioned baseball earlier, and she has a baseball cap on in these pics, I am putting them here. Deal.

Time Flies, Cliche but True

2009-04-27T10:28:00.000-07:00

I really don't know where the time goes, but Abby is growing up, and I have done a poor job over the past few months of chronicling her development on this blog. I don't think the two readers out there mind, but one of my main motivations to doing this was for Abby so she could read it someday in case my memory fades. Today, I still have a memory like an elephant. So, I am recommitting myself to writing more. Let's see how it works out.

Abby will be 20 months old next week. We celebrated her "Gotcha Day" on March 28th in unremarable fashion. Gotcha Day is celebrated by some in the adoption community as the day your child becomes permanently part of your family or permanently in your care. March 28th, 2008 was the day Abby transitioned from foster care in Guatemala to my care on the pick up visit and it was the day of her visa appointment at the US Embassy in Guatemala. This year, it was a typical Saturday for us - playing and shoppping - but I did spend some time on that day as well as the days before and after in a very reflective mode. In some ways, it feels like just yesterday that we went to Guatemala, and in other ways, I do feel like I have a years worth of memories. One thing I know for sure, my life WA (With Abby) is fantastic. Abby is the most loving little girl with a contagious smile only matched by her curiosity and intelligence.

She wears me out physically because she never stops. Not for a second. She still only has two speeds for the most part - full throttle or in park/asleep - not much in between. She challenges me to keep up with her to the point of exhaustion, but then she rewards me by being the best child ever when it comes to bedtime. She still routinely goes to bed at 6:30PM or 7 every night at her request, not mine (ok, sometimes I enjoy that I get to relax I bit and watch crap reality tv), but I think her bedtime behavior is quite unbelievable.

This is our typical evening exchange regarding bedtime:

Mom: "Abby, are you ready to go night-night?"

Abby: Nods yes and/or walks over to the stairwell by the gate to go upstairs to her bedroom.

Mom: Places Abby in crib and says "Lie down on the pillow, honey" and covers her with her fave blanky.

Abby: Waves her hand bye bye or says "bye", and turns her her head toward the wall.

It is like clockwork most of the time. Not a cry or peep when she is ready for bed. This kid plays hard and sleeps hard. Even when she is sick, she rarely makes any fuss at bedtime. I know this can't always be this easy.

Abby did stay up late with her cousins over Easter weekend when they were in town for a short visit. They stayed up late texting and talking about boys just like at any good slumber party.

Morning After The Slumber Party

As usual, Abby was thrilled to see them and has really started to bond with them. My family has been great about coming to see her every few months, and so Abby knows them and responds to them well. My nieces are incredible with her, and it just warms my heart to see them interact despite the age difference of 10+ years. They went on the carousel with her which Abby loved and they even came to Abby's Sunday morning music class with us. Abby's music teacher commented on how great Ashtyn, my older niece, was with young children in the class. It is quite obvious that Ashtyn is a natural, and Abby gets to reap the rewards.

Abby and Ashtyn on Carousel

They brought their dog, Murphy, with them, and although Abby's obsession with dogs has waned, she still loves being around them. Abby walked Murphy by herself while she was riding in her car and just around the neighborhood. She took her dog walking job quite seriously and never let go of the leash. She was a natural! Abby is so gentle around animals and very intuitive about them.

Abby Has A BFF

2009-02-12T06:11:00.000-08:00

It is just so cute. Abby has a BFF (Best Friend Forever) named Emma. They are in the same class at school - they are both in the young toddlers room. They both graduated to the young toddler room after being in the older infant room together as they are very close in age. Emma usually arrives first and gets breakfast started in the play kitchen. When Emma sees Abby come in, she usually says "Abby!", and Abby breaks out into a big smile and waves to Emma. Abby doesn't talk much yet, but she still lets Emma know she is excited to see her. She will reach out her hand to Emma and give her a "high five". Emma usually hands Abby an egg, toast or a croissant, sometimes she even puts in on a plate on a table near the kitchen. Emma and Abby are taking this BFF thing very seriously. Abby will not, under any circumstances, begin her nap unless Emma is also sleeping. If Emma is awake, Abby wants to stay awake. Actually, Abby will not nap at daycare if there is anything of signficance going on. She just does not want to miss ANYTHING. This is not a good thing because then Abby takes a nosedive with her mood about 10 minutes after I pick her up as we rush through dinner and bathtime before she can't keep her eyes open any longer (usually 6:30 or 6:45 PM!!). But, I am thrilled that she loves school as much as she does.

Abby is usually described by her teachers each day as "friendly", "curious", and "happy" and often "chatty". It is all good to me to read and hear those things each day. Most people that meet her for the first time still comment on her beautiful curly hair and the fact that she looks like a little doll (because she is small in stature).

Abby had a haircut once, but it was only a trim. She had her first real haircut a few weeks ago, and we got it cut short. I found a great stylist who is a Latina woman who has the same hair Abby does. She gave her a great haircut, but we had to go short, so it could grown evenly better. Abby looks a lot different with her hair so much shorter, but she is enjoying the no fuss aspect of it. Abby despises having her teeth and hair brushed by anyone other than herself, so if we can limit the amount of time on her hair each morning at this stage in the game, then I am all for it. I do like her with longer hair, but sometimes it hides her adorable face :)

Abby is on her own schedule learning to talk. She points at everything constantly and is very obedient for the most part. We are able to communicate pretty well even though she isn't saying much. She loves bringing everyone their shoes and putting things away or back where they belong. I hope that means she will be a future neat freak!! She does it at home, school, and in music class. I think she is more interested in putting the musical instruments back in the container they are housed in than actually playing with the musical instruments. Music class is basically an aerobic activity for me. The teacher calls Abby a kinetic learner. Code for she is into everything. Sometimes Abby will sit on my lap during class and participate musically, but more often than not, she wants to run around and take the CDs out of the CD player, empty purses, steal keys, carry around the music books from one end of the room to the other, etc. She is in perpetual motion.

Abby's first real, unprompted, word was "dog" when she was 16 months. Not a surprise since she is obssessed with dogs in general. She will also say "hi" sometimes. She really has not said Mommy or Mama yet except she kind of seems to mumble it a bit when she is really upset and tired.

Abby and Elmo - A Favorite Hannukah Gift - Elmo Abby and Her Other Favorite Hannukah Gift

It is fun watching Abby grow and learn so much during these last several months. I can't wait until she starts talking more. She is starting to enjoy being read to and loves sitting in my lap flipping the pages of the book. She really likes it even more when her Grams reads to her because Grams makes more silly sounds when she does it. I expect Grams and Abby to spend a lot of time at Barnes & Noble together over the years just like Grams does with her other two grandchildren. A shared love of books is ALWAYS a good thing.

Thanksgiving in West Texas

2008-12-02T19:32:00.000-08:00

Abby took her third flight in her young life out to West Texas for Thanksgiving to visit her cousins and aunt and uncle. We don't usually go out there until Christmas, but because I used all my vacation time earlier this year to spend time with Abby after I brought her home from Guatemala, we went for Thanskgiving since my company gives us a company holiday the day after Thankgiving.

Traveling with Abby is starting to be quite the adventure. The girl simply does not like to be constrained in any form or fashion, so going in, I was glad the flight was under an hour. I think I burned close to 1,000 calories each way trying to wrangle her in the airport and on the plane. My plan was to exhaust her running around the airport so she might sit nicely in my lap. I was clearly living in a fantasy world. I knew that deep down, but I tried (probably not enough as those sitting near us on the plane can attest to) to let her run free while I closely followed her behind with the stroller and carry on bags. Abby is not a big crier at all and didn't cry even with my arms draped around her. She just wiggles and wiggles trying to wrestle free with a few Monica Seles grunts and groans thrown in. I didn't succeed in exhausting her but I sure succeeded in exhausting myself!

I didn't take many pictures (no real good excuse) this trip but my nieces took a million. They are so great with Abby. They put her on their myspace pages and show her off..it is so cute. She is so lucky to have them, and I know they will be good role models for her as she gets older. We had a great time, and Abby got so much attention from my family and my sister-in-law's family. My sister-in-law's parents are her "adopted" grandparents too which is great because you can never have too many people love you.

Abby and Ashtyn

It becomes clearer and clearer every day that dogs will be part of my life as Abby gets older. She is just crazy about dogs. I can't get over her love affair with them. She is so happy around them, and she is so good with them. I didn't expect her to be so gentle and sweet with them, but you can see for yourself by watching this brief video of Abby and Murphy. The video quality is very poor, but if you can deal with the darkness of the video, it is worth at least a few awwwwwws even from the hardened cynics out there...

We were only in West Texas for three days, but it was great to be with family. It is so much more enjoyable and fulfilling now having Abby as part of our family and celebrating her first Thanksgiving. Aside from the sunshine and daffodils, there were a few humorous and horrific moments I will remember about this Thanksgiving too.

Most "You Did Not Just Do That" Moment
Abby and I are lined up in Group A to board the plane back home standing at the post for people with numbers in the 40s. Our actual number is in the 20s, several spots up, but because I had Abby in the stroller and a few carry ons, I decided not to assert myself just to gain a few spots closer in line because it was pretty crowded up there. A man approaches, shows me his number and tells me that we are standing in his spot. I show him my number and tell him that I am in front of him anyway, so what is the big deal? He insists on OWNING the spot and ever so slightly nudges us aside. I told him he had a problem (I toned it down since Abby was there of course), and his logic was absent. Why did it matter to him if I was supposed to be in front of him anyway? He was just your garden variety jerk who then got embarrassed when I showed him how silly he was being.

Best "I Just Can't Let It Go" Moment
Abby and I boarded the plane and chose the vacant aisle seat right behind the man who insisted he stand at his assigned number post instead of 2 feet back. My only comment to him was "Nice seeing you again. I hope you enjoy my daughter". And, yes, Abby got a few kicks into his seat. Purely unintentional, I promise.

Most "Am I Fit to Parent?" Moment
Abby running away from me in the airport into a construction area and grabbing a handful of plaster out of a wall being remodeled and shoving it in her mouth. For a split second, I became an Olympic sprinter and managed to get to her and scoop it out before she swallowed.

Most "Embarrassing and Am I Fit to Parent? Combo" Moment
Abby running away from me into the men's bathroom. I got trapped behind a big group and couldn't get to her before she made it all the way into the men's bathroom only a few feet away from the urinals. I was mortified as there were several men in there. I apologized and Abby laughed. I don't think she was laughing at anything she saw, but better laughter than tears, at least for Abby. Maybe not so much for the men though.

Most "I Really Wanted to Laugh But It Would Have Been Socially Inappropriate To Do So" Moment
On the flight to West Texas, there happened to be about 5-6 kids close in age to Abby, so before the flight several of the kids, Abby included, were walking around the gate area eating crumbs out of each others strollers and the like. Abby reached into a woman's purse who was sitting next to a family I was talking to and pulled out a tampon that was in the very top of the purse! What can I say, Abby loves anything that makes a crinkling noise. And in our defense, wo puts a tampon that close to the opening of the purse? Put it in the zippered compartment where it belongs. Am I right??? It was so so hard to telll Abby no and not laugh especially as many of the people around were cracking up. One person was not cracking up. That was the tampon owner. And, she didn't really accept my apology either. Oh well. Such is life.

The Last Few Months

2008-11-11T06:51:00.000-08:00

Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been over 2 months since my last blog. I'll say 3 Hail Marys..wait a minute. Wrong religion. Not mine. I do feel guilty though for not updating those of you who actually read this and have asked me about it. Where does the time go? Well, obviously it doesn't go to writing this blog, that is for sure. I'll try to recap some of the highlights over the past few months.

Abby is walking. She took her first real steps on October 27th. She had been taking a few quick steps between the wall and furniture, the furniture and me, etc. And, she had been holding on to my clothing as I walked. For almost 2 months, all Abby would do would be to just stand there and when I tried to get her to walk to me, she would just start clapping and looking at me as if I had grown horns. She just showed no real interest other than standing. She would stand. And stand. And stand until she grew roots.

Abby in Her Standing Phase

So, back to the starting walking thing. One day, when I went to pick Abby up from school, I walked into her classroom. I called out her name, and she was about 20 feet away from me sitting at a table eating her late afternoon snack. Her back was to me, but she turned her head when I called her name. Like she had done it a thousand times before, she stood up, scooted her chair back and walked 20 feet over to me and gave me a hug. It was awesome. Plain and simple. It was the most convincing case that Abby is truly a toddler now...for the most part, babyhood is in her rearview mirror (I haven't fully weaned her from the bottle..try as I might..she still likes a bottle in the AM. My rationale is that I want to make sure she gets enough milk every day, and she doesn't have a lot of dairy products at school. I can only really work on this on the weekends..Shh..don't tell anyone she is still taking a bottle ocassionally).

Abby moved out of the infant room at school into the young toddler room at the end of October. Thank goodness. She needed to be moved at least a month earlier, but they really want the kids to be walking before they move them. They made an exception in Abby's case because although her teachers like Ms. Regina, Ms. Russell, and Ms. Patricia LOVED her and told me so all the time (Abby even got her first teacher's comments for her baby book from Ms. Russell about how wonderful she was), Abby was into everything while the rest of the babies were pretty much blobs. Abby had started emptying every kid's dresser in the room (she loves opening drawers and taking out her clothes at home too), and I am sure the teachers got tired of refolding everything, so they decided to move her in with the other young toddlers who are in the 12-18 month age range like Abby. That classroom is way more her speed. There is lots of activity going on at all times. It is constant chaos, but that is what Abby likes. Everytime I pick her up, she is having an absolute ball climbing on things and playing with the other kids. When I drop her off in the morning, she starts smiling when we walk into school. Believe me, it makes me feel so much better each day knowing how much she truly enjoys her day.

A few weeks ago, I dressed her in her Texas Tech outfit (from her uncle Michael, a proud Tech alum) after Tech's huge win over #1 ranked Texas. When I picked Abby up that day from school, she was wearing a different outfit. This happens from time to time when lunchtime is particularly messy. On this day, another child smeared all of his lunch all over Abby. What was funny about it was that his parents were both Texas alums, so he took out his frustration over the outcome of the game on poor little Abby! Not to worry..the teachers said Abby just laughed about it.

Abby All "Teched" Out

Abby had her first haircut. I didn't want to cut her hair because it is so darn cute, but the fact is that it had gotten so long in front, you couldn't see her face. She had school pictures coming up which forced my hand, and she just got a little trim so you could see her beautiful face. She had a meltdown (and she rarely if ever has these) when she got her haircut. Abby cried and cried the entire time.

Thankfully, it was brief, and she forgot about it quickly after I "rewarded" her courage with a Diego phone (Diego of "Go, Diego, Go" fame on Nickelodeon channel is Abby's fave). Like most kids, she is mesmerized by phones, remotes and gadgets. So, this toy was a winner for many reasons.

Abby Talking to Grams About Her Day. Grams is Loud, so Abby Can't Put Phone Near Ear

Abby had her first Halloween. It was pretty uneventful. We had about 10 trick or treaters, but they all came well past Abby's bedtime. Abby goes to bed about 6:30 PM on weekdays because she naps very little at school. Abby enjoys her beauty sleep, that is for sure. She might make it to 7 PM ocassionally, but we didn't go trick or treating because (in no particular order) 1) sleep for her is way more important 2) she can't eat candy yet and 3) mom didn't want to. I did dress her up and take a few pictures. Since Abby loves dogs, I thought she would appreciate a puppy dog costume. Other than the fact that she was sweating profusely because Halloween was a warm day here and the costume was pretty heavy, Abby enjoyed the dressing up. It will be more fun in the years ahead when Abby can decide for herself what she wants to be for Halloween.

Every parent says "they grow up fast". I understand that perfectly. I really am enjoying all the different phases Abby is going through and trying to live in the moment with her as much as possible. Weekends with her are really our time together. She still loves the same things she always has - going to the park especially to get on the swing, playing with dogs, and riding/driving whatever she can. She gets such a focused, determined look on her face if you put her on a car, motorcycle, horse at the mall or Chuck-E-Cheese for example. I have to get her some kind of little car for Hannukah because the sheer joy and excitment you see on her face when she is riding/driving a car is priceless!

On a final, sad note, my father dumped me via voicemail during the Jewish High Holy Days because we had an argument which apparently turned out to be a dealbreaker for him. I tried to work it out with him and every time I called him back, he hung up on me. A few days after the argument, he left me a voicemail on Sunday at work (when he knew I wouldn't be there) and told me he wanted to be "incommunicado" with me for at least 2 years while he evaluated whether or not he wanted to have anything to do with me. Not only was his voicemail hateful and hurtful to me, he said some very derogatory things about my mother who had absolutely nothing to do with the argument whatsover. It was shocking to me how intense his hatred for my mother is even though it has been 30 years since they divorced. I am sad for myself and for Abby that she will never know her grandfather. My father has 3 grandchildren now, and he doesn't know any of them. Abby could never do or say anything to me where I would tell her to take a hike, no matter how much it might hurt at the time. That's a good thing. The day I listened to my father's message I was really down, and when I went to pick Abby up that day from school, she gave me a kiss. It might not seem like much, but almost every time I ask her for a kiss, she shakes her head no. This time, I didn't even ask, she just gave it to me. It is like she knew I needed it. It is amazing how intuitive kids can be sometimes.

First Birthday

2008-09-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

Abby is one today. Wow, time has simply flown by since I brought her home 5 months ago. She had a fantastic birthday celebration with some of my closest friends over the Labor Day weekend. Abby and I packed up her portable highchair, carseat, stroller, two diaper bags, and one suitcase for a two day trip to North Carolina. The airlines picked a fine time to start charging fees to check bags. Lucky for me, some of the baby gear is EXEMPT, or I would have had to take out a 2nd mortgage before my trip! My college roommates from my junior year have been getting together almost once a year since we graduated (don't do the math..it is not pretty) to have a reunion of sorts. Some times we take a trip (just the girls), and other times, we just visit each other in one of the cities we live in. This time, we decided to visit Laura and her family in North Carolina and bring some of the kids and one of the husbands. We had a total of 12 staying at Laura's house. I think this was one of the best reunions we have had. It was probably because we included the kids, and they all got to meet Abby for the first time. I also think it was because I have really missed them lately. Every time I get together with them, I feel so fortunate to have had these three great women in my life for such a long period of time. Friends like these do not grow on trees. I am so lucky.

Abby and Lisa S.

The trip was just wonderful. Seeing my friends who all live in different states is always special. They opened their arms and hearts to Abby as did all of their children and husbands. The kids, other than Abby, were all within a few years of each other in age, and they had a great time with each other playing non-stop over the weekend. It was so great to see. I was so touched by the way the older kids treated Abby. Abby had her own entourage - Benjamin, Ryan, Caitlin, Aidan, and Kirby - who played with her, stroked her hair (gently of course..no one can get enough of Abby's hair!) strolled her, made her laugh, etc. They were adorable with her. It just made my heart sing. Caitlin and Aidan in particular could not get enough of Abby. Caitlin always wanted to hold her and touch her soft skin. She loved playing "mama" for a weekend, and she will make a great babysitter some day.

Abby and Caitlin

I thoroughly enjoyed getting to spend quality time with my friend's children. I feel like I have a much better appreciation for their wonderful little personalities. I have to say that all my friends are amazing parents which is evident just after being with their kiddos for a few minutes. They are great role models and sources of inspiration and advice for me as I tackle issues with Abby that they have already faced a few times (five times in one case!) with their own children. We spent an afternoon strolling around the Duke University campus which was a lot of fun because it is so pretty, and it was where my parents met and fell in love (although they did not live happily ever after with each other) when they were in college.

All of Us
Aidan and Abby
Duke Chapel

Aidan, Ryan, Caitlin, Kirby, Benjamin and Abby Duke University West Campus

Abby was treated like a rock star for her birthday. She got some fantastic presents that she loves already, and we had a little party as well. Abby is not really into sweets much (I am NOT complaining) and fiddled a bit with the cake before she palmed it with one hand and picked it up.

Abby and Caitlin Blowing Out Candle

Abby Meets Cake

Abby and Her Shadow/Idol, Caitlin

Hungry Ryan

Abby and Mom

Satisfied Abby

Abby and the Big Kids

There were always four or five of us taking pictures of Abby's every move as she pondered whether she would throw the cake or not (she didn't). And, the kids would not leave her side most of the time during the present opening phase.

I could hardly even see Abby to get a good picture since she was surrounded by her entourage! And, I felt like one of the papparazi with all the flashes going off!

Laura and her family have a wonderful golden retriever, Marley, who Abby adored. Abby crawled around on the floor with Marley and they played "cups" (exchanging plastic cups with each other). Marley enjoyed hanging around Abby hoping for morsels of food to drop at any time especially during the birthday party celebration. Abby had her own moist towlette (Marley's tongue) to clean off her hands which were full of cake and icing. It was really fun watching them together because Abby just flat out loves dogs. And, Marley was one of her favorites she has met so far. Marley licked her and walked over her, and Abby was so chill about it all. She is such a low maintenance baby in all respects (unless you are trying to hold her for a few hours on an airplane or something) and just goes with the flow.

Abby Riding Marley

Since we celebrated Abby's birthday a few days early while we were all together in North Carolina, it gave Grams and I a good reason to re-celebrate Abby's first birthday again on her real birthday. Grams brought over another cake and we had a toned down celebration at our house after work and school. Abby loves Grams' visits, and Grams bought her a great musical dancing tower that she can sit and play on now, and in a few months, she will be able to dance to the beat. It has a dancing bear on top of it that gives Abby all sorts of thrills. As usual, Grams knows what Abby likes. Probably because Grams is just a big kid herself when it comes to toys anyway! And, Abby's cousins and numerous friends called her and sang happy birthday to her as well. So much attention for one little baby, but she ate it up (the attention. the cake - not so much).

Abby's Birthday - Part 2 At Home with Mom and Grams

Dada?

2008-08-15T07:01:00.000-07:00

I think every parent looks forward to those first words uttered by your child. Well, Abby's first word was.....are you ready for this....DADA!!! Now, this is only funny because there is no dada in the picture at all. I am sure it is just one of the easier words to say, but it is so ironic. Maybe she is asking me a question instead when she says it..who knows. Either way as a command, greeting or a question, it makes me laugh. Pretty much everything Abby does makes me laugh or smile anyway :) She is hilarious most of the time. She has had a great month and is transitioning from babyhood to toddlerhood each day.

Classic Abby - Smiling, Standing, Loving Life

Abby, Patty, and Patty's dog, Lucy

Abby has not shown a great interest in walking but can crawl at the speed of sound now! She loves standing and will push her walker (that doubles as a car with one minor adjustment) for brief periods, but she just likes to go fast, and walking must seem too slow for her.

She loves her car and likes to be pushed in it as fast as it can possibly go. I don't think "too fast" or "too high" is possible with Abby. She is a born thrillseeker..this much I know.

Abby went to her first birthday party a few weeks ago and had a blast at Chuck-E-Cheese. The party was for a 4 year old boy, but there were enough fun things to do for her, and she couldn't get enough of the 4 Wheel Drive Car that had a hydraulic lift on it. She humored me by riding in the slower, more pedestrian rides like the carousel and Clifford the Dog, but nothing beat the hot rod. See what I mean?

Abby - The Next Danica
Abby Loves Dogs - Even Big Metal Ones

Maddox's BDAY Party

Abby Enjoying a Meal At School

Abby @ 1O months

2008-07-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

It has been 3 1/2 months since Abby came home, and we are just having a fantastic time. Abby has transitioned so well, it really blows my mind sometimes what a little trooper she is. Abby has been in daycare now about 6 weeks, and she really loves it. Everytime I pick her up at the end of the day, she looks like she is having so much fun climbing on things, crawling around, and pulling herself up whenever she can. Her caregivers say that Abby does not want to miss a thing that is going on which explains why she doesn't nap very much during the day! Frankly, I don't know how any one could sleep in a room full of 10 children between the ages of 6 and 12 months. It is definitely the highlight of my day to walk into her classroom and when I call her name, she looks up and crawls as fast as her little arms and legs will take her over to me. It is really the best feeling in the world especially after a long day at work. Daycare has been an adjustment because Abby has gotten picked up the sickness du jour at daycare which means she gets sent home. Leaving work, picking Abby up, getting her to the doctor who must write a note so that Abby can get back into school and then finding someone to to take care of her if she can't go back to daycare and I have to work, has been a bit rough. It is only rough because I only have a few days off left for the year (I took all my vacation and personal time to be with Abby for a few months when I first brought her home), and my boss is not so cool with allowing me to telecommute (don't get me started). But, Abby will eventually build up some immunities, and in 2009, I will have plenty of time off from work, so it will be a non-issue next year.

At Abby's last wellness check up at 9 months, she had grown quite a bit and is in the 10% for her age group in height, and the 8% in weight. Believe me, the only thing small about Abby is her stature. She has a big personality, a loud (but cute) voice, and the biggest grin you have ever seen.

Almost every morning, Abby wakes up smiling so big and is so excited to start her day. She starts jumping up and down, and when I pick her up, she continually flashes her big grin at me. I love it. I just never imagined having a child that was this excited to get up in the morning. Me on the other hand..don't bother me until 10 AM. I might be in a decent mood by then. I have to say that Abby has already changed this about me to some extent, and that is a great thing!

Abby's typical weekend is swimming, going to the park, and taking music classes. She still loves the water and being in control of her own little boat. This is great because temperatures here are already at 100 degrees, so staying cool is a must.

Abby Modeling Her New Bikini

Abby in the Bucket Swing

We take Music Together classes every Sunday morning, and there are 3 other babies the same age as Abby in addition to other children between 1 and 7 or so. Abby really enjoys the classes and her eyes are glued to the teacher most of the time becaue the teacher is very animated and demonstrative. I hope this is a precursor of things to come with other teachers when she starts school! The classes afford me an opportunity to act silly dancing and singing with Abby. I didn't think I would enjoy them as much as I do, but it is nice to be in a place where I can behave in a silly manner and not care about what anyone else thinks especially if you lined up 100 people and asked them to sing and dance, I would rank 100th in both categories. I saw myself dancing on a friend's wedding video once. Scariest thing I had ever seen. And, I am not kidding.

Abby is constantly pulling herself up but isn't really trying to walk around holding on to furniture, tables, etc. much yet. She mostly pulls herself up (the gate on the stairs is her favorite) and looks over at me to see if I am watching then bursts out into laughter.

This is the best reality show I could watch. I never get tired of it. I am still awed by Abby on a daily basis mostly because she is just so interested in all of her surroundings at all times. She is not going to miss anything!

Abby Jammin' Out on Her Keyboard

Abby Loves Dogs

2008-06-05T06:25:00.000-07:00

Abby loves dogs. Crap. It figures since I am definitely not a fan of dogs. Not at all. Loved dogs as a kid until I got bit one too many times, but have always been more of a "cat person". This will be a big test for me in a few years to see if I can suck it up and get Abby a dog once she is old enough to help take care of it. I can hope she "grows out of it". Not likely. You should have seen her giggling non stop around my friends' four legged baby, Spanky.

Abby, Laurie and Spanky

Abby could not get enough of Spanky. It was really quite adorable watching her interact with Spanky. There really is nothing better than the sound of a child's laughter - especially a little girl.

Abby also discovered her knees and what she could do with them last week. A few days before she turned 9 months, it is like she wanted to check off a few things off her development list, so she started really crawling and pulling herself up into a standing position on the very same day! She has been scooting on her stomach for a few months, but I think she got tired of being a mop for the floors, so she started picking up her stomach and using her knees. Now, she loves getting on her knees and seeing what the world looks like from that vantage point. She is pulling herself up but has yet to figure out how to get herself back down! It is pretty cute watching her try to figure it out and then I help her bend her knees so she can go back down to a crawling or sitting position.

Abby Standing Up to See Diego (of Go, Diego, Go! fame) Better

Abby Trying to Get Through the Gate on the Stairwell

This week has been rough for me because I had to go back to work and drop Abby at her new home away from home, Primrose School. I think Abby will get really good care and enjoy herself, but the first day, I was a mess. I cried all the way in on my drive to work. I was not upset so much to go back to work(ok, maybe a little), but I was upset because I knew I would miss Abby terribly. I had a lump in my throat for several days before I dropped Abby off every time we drove by Primrose. After being with Abby 24/7 for over two months, the adjustment will take some time for me. Not for Abby. She is just a little trooper. Her caregivers said she was an angel, is always smiling, and never cries. Yep, that's Abby in a nutshell. What a relief though to drop her off and see her smile when I put her in someone else's arms for the day.

Boys Don't Cry and Neither Does Abby

2008-05-21T12:01:00.000-07:00

Abby's Bath Time - See How Long Her Hair is Getting? Abby in Her New Shades - Too Cool for School
We have had a busy few weeks. We had a great visit from my closest friend, Lisa P., and one of her wonderful sons, Sam, age 4. They came to visit Abby in particular, and we all had a great time. As usual, it was great to see Lisa. We have been the best of friends for over 20 years now but have never lived in the same city other than when we were in college. Lisa has been one of the most supportive, encouraging people during Abby's adoption process. She wanted to hear ever little detail, and it made the journey even more worthwhile because of her interest. Sam was good with Abby even though they are definitely on different wavelengths right now. Sam is full of energy 24/7 like a typical 4 year old boy, but he is the sweetest, cutest little boy. I have been fortunate enough to see him quite a bit over the years even though he has moved to the East Coast. Next year, Abby and I will go visit Sam and his little brother on their turf.

Lisa and Sam

Lisa and Abby

My mother's close friend and business partner, Jeanie, threw a "sip and see" for Abby while Lisa and Sam were visiting.

Grams, Abby and Sam at Abby's "Sip and See"

It was really nice. Abby got more great gifts from generous and thoughtful people. Most of the people who came were long time friends of my mom who wanted to sneak a peek of her newest granddaughter. It was great to see everyone, and a few of the ladies brought their grown daughters to the get together. These grown daughters were girls I used to babysit!! Wow, not much makes you feel older than that. Abby didn't disappoint though. Despite no nap that day to speak of, Abby was interested, curious, and happy to be around everyone. And she did conk out after a few hours and went down for a nap without a peep. Abby really just does not cry. Lisa commented that while visiting for 48 hours, Abby didn't cry once. 'tis true. The truth is that she does occasionally cry, but it is really, really rare. How long can this good fortune continue??? Man, am I blessed or what?

On May 21st, we had a very big day. I re-adopted Abby in the State of Texas. We headed over to Fort Worth (because my adoption attorney practices there) about 6 am since we had to be there by 7:45 for open docket at 8 AM. It was about an hour drive, but I wanted to account for any unknown traffic or construction delays. We got to Fort Worth at 7 and entered the family law center. Abby was in her usual good mood as walked around and people watched waiting for our lawyer. There was another family from Wichita Falls represented by our lawyer as well who were adopting a young boy from Colombia. Our attorney arrived, and Abby and I went to go over the proceedings with her and sign some paperwork. We went into the courtroom with the other family and sat down until our case was ready to be heard. The Wichita Falls family was called first, and it took about 5 or 10 minutes. Then, the judge called Abby and I to the bench. Our lawyer asked me some really easy questions like:

Did I promise to love and take care of Abby for the rest of her life? YES

Did I think changing her birth name to her new name was in her best interests? YES

Did I think Abby was mentally, emotionally, and physically able to be adopted? YES

Had I cared for her for at least 6 months? NO

Did I want the court to waive the 6 month rule so I could adopt her today? YES

Clinton or Obama? (OK, she didn't really ask that)

It was painless but a joyous event. When we walked up to the bench, Abby gave the judge the biggest grin in her bag of tricks. It was kind of funny because she hadn't smiled at all that morning until she saw the judge. Her smile melted the judge who gushed about how adorable and precious Abby was! After I answered the questions, he said the adoption was approved and he signed the final adoption decree. He left his seat and came over to where we were standing and gave Abby a big kiss! Then, the bailiff gave Abby a cute stuffed animal (which has a serious shedding problem, but it is the thought that counts), and took a picture for us so that we could commemorate the big event.

Abby, Mom, Attorney and Judge in Tarrant County Family Law Center

We left the courtroom and went down to the clerk's office a few floors down so that our attorney could pick up the signed paperwork. We waited about 10 minutes, and our attorney gave us certifed copies of the final adoption decree. We were on the road back to Dallas by 8:45 AM but had accomplished a lot. Abby was re-adopted in Texas which allows her to get a Texas birth certificate and is necessary for her to get U.S. citizenship. The visa she traveled on to the U.S. did NOT give her automatic citizenship. Just another application to fill out and send in to the government, but we are almost done with the paperwork. I almost won't know what to do when the paperwork associated with Abby's adoption ends...After we get her citizenship which will take up to 6 months, we can get her a Social Security card and a U.S. passport much easier. But since she is not taking a job anytime soon or traveling out of the country, we have some time!

Abby had a few firsts over Memorial Day Weekend. She attended her first sporting event. We went to watch a friend's daughter play in an under 18 select softball tournament near our house.

Abby Watching Laura Play Softball

It was highly competitive, and the game ended in a 2-2 tie. We sat on the grass in the shade along the 3rd base/left field line. Abby was chill. She didn't watch much of the game but entertained herself while I watched and visited with friends. I hope she is like this when I take her to long, long baseball games to see her Red Sox in the future!

Abby and Julia At the Game

She loved feeling the grass between her toes and, of course, she wanted to eat it. I tried to explain that we don't eat grass but since logic doesn't work with a 9 month old, I just had to be diligent and give her something else that was suitable to put in her mouth. We played on the bucket swings after the game which are always a big hit with Abby.

Abby also went swimming for the first time in a pool. I bought her a little boat which was designed to introduce young 'uns to the water for the first time.

She loved the autonomy the boat gave her, and she has absolutely no trepidation around water whatsover. She really enjoyed playing bouncing and jumping games in the water, and she didn't mind getting water all over herself. We went swimming at Michele's house, and she has a fountain in her spa which was probably Abby's favorite thing. She loved touching the fountain and having the water spray lightly in her face.

Abby and Michele
I did make one big mistake when I put her boat over the fountain forgetting the boat had a big hole in the middle where the fountain shot straight up and gave Abby a nose enema. She got absolutely drenched. While she didn't enjoy it, she did not cry. I would have cried if I got that much water up my nose at one time!!

Abby in Her First Bikini - Watch out Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition!

This is the last week I have with Abby full time before I put her in daycare at the beginning of June. I know she will be in good hands, but I will miss her terribly. I just have to make the most of the time I will spend with her in the mornings, evenings, and on the weekends. It will be different. I am sure Abby will be a trooper as she has adjusted to every other major change in her life so well. Hopefully, I can learn a little from her and my adjustment back to the cubicle farm at the office will go OK.

Abby Playing With Her Maracas While Mom Makes Business Calls

The Best Birthday

2008-05-07T20:40:00.000-07:00

This used to be my chair, but Abby told me since she matched it, it was now hers. Ok, Abby, you win!!
Today, 5/9, is my birthday. I can't think of a better way to spend my birthday then with my new daughter who I still look at and can't believe my good fortune. Birthdays are always a good time to reflect and think about what has happened over the past year. And, with Mother's Day in just a few days, this is really a special weekend for me. My birthday has always fallen around Mother's Day, and my mom and I always get together to celebrate by going to brunch and a movie. This year will be even more special since we are both mothers now, and Abby is here. As it turns out, my mom is spending time with us on Mother's Day and spending the night so she can take care of Abby on Monday while I re-enter the work force after my 6 week sabbatical.

I woke up really happy this morning when I heard Abby cooing in her crib. Maybe she was singing happy birthday to me (or not), but in any event, she gave me an extra big smile. It already is the best birthday I have ever had, and it is hard to imagine it getting any better than this. This time last year, I had just started my adoption process and didn't even have my home study approved yet. I knew I was going to be a mom in a year or so, but I certainly didn't expect to have brought Abby home over a month before my birthday and Mother's Day. What a wonderful year, all the ups and downs of the adoption process were worth it 100 times over. I have the most beautiful, amazing daughter that I love with all my heart. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love her. It is simply the best feeling in the world.

I took Abby to visit her new school/day care where she will go starting at the beginning of June. Her new caregivers went ga-ga over here as soon as they saw her. It gave me a really good feeling. If they spend more time with her because of her pleasant disposition, all the better for Abby.... There were several other babies her age, and in some ways, I think she will really benefit. I will sorely miss our special time together, but in some ways, I am looking forward to going back to work so that my brain can be re-energized. I hope I don't feel too guilty when I go back to work, but it is probably inevitable to some extent. I hope to turn any guilt into a positive so that I will be an even better mother to Abby.

Abby is extremely active. She is always on the go. One of the best decisions I made early on was getting my home baby-proofed. She puts her mouth on EVERYTHING, and really enjoys door stops in particular. It is a good thing they were all replaced with solid plastic instead of the ones with the little caps on the end that she could have swallowed. It is funny watching her try to get her head at the right angle to put her mouth on the doorstop but not hit her head on the wall. It is just fun to watch her try to "problem solve".

Abby is extremely excited about the great start the Red Sox have had, and she is equally excited about the bad start the Yankees have had. I don't want to teach her to hate anyone or anything of course, but I will need to teach her to "strongly dislike" the Yankees. It is absolute requirement in our house :)

My Daughter Loves Dodgeball and Other Musings

2008-04-24T21:11:00.000-07:00

To blog or not to blog. Hmmm..I have been debating that for the past few weeks. People keep asking me to update it. I want to. I really do. But, isn't this kind of boring? Well, I guess if you get bored, you can stop reading. Or, if I get too bored, I'll stop writing. I think I'll change it up a bit though. I'll still post a few pics because Abby is just too cute not to.

Here are some some things on my mind...

1. My daughter loves dodgeball. It's pretty funny because I absolutely loved it in grade school. I loved being able to catch the ball when someone threw it as hard as they could at me. I loved throwing that ball as hard as I could at someone in my class, and I loved the sound of the rubber hitting the person's body. I promise I am not a sadist, just really competitive at times. I don't think this makes me a bad person or parent. And, I was only throwing a soft fabric type ball at Abby's legs in a very gently manner, and she just squealed and squealed with delight!

Abby and the Fabric Ball (sent to her by friends Sam and Ezra)

2. My daughter loves soccer. This is great too because soccer is my sport and her small stature wouldn't be a factor. I played in college, so it would be really easy for me to do this with Abby if she continues to enjoy it. My mom and I rolled the same fabric ball at her feet, and she kicked it over and over squealing with delight!

3. My daughter hates plums. Good. I finally found the first food she doesn't eat. She is not a big eater of anything really, but she cried over the plums numerous times. It took me 3-4 times to figure out, hey, this baby does not like plums. I think my brain is on vacation while I am off work for a few months.

4. My daughter loves orange food. Carrots, Squash, Sweet Potatoes, and Tangerine Popsicles.

5. My daughter wants David Archuleta to win American Idol. Yes, I am watching American Idol, but I swear, it is only because Abby loves the music. Okay, that's a lie. I watched American Idol before I became a mom :) Anyway, David Archuleta is the angelic looking teenage boy who is a prepubescent girl's fantasy boyfriend. I'd have no problem if Abby wants to hang his picture on her bedroom wall. He is very cute and wholesome looking. She coos when he sings. She stops everything she is doing to watch him and does not move a muscle except her mouth so that she can coo. And, she doesn't do that when the other contestants sing.

6. My daughter loves the Jonah Brothers. See above - the David Archuleta factor in spades because there are three of them. A wholesome boy band made up of brothers. She became mesmerized by them during their appearance on Oprah. Abby is already seeking out the cute boys. I can't blame her. She has good taste at least.

7. My daughter is human. We were beginning to wonder because she never cried and slept through the night like clockwork every night I have been with her here and in Guatemala. That all changed this week when she got a cold. She has quite a set of lungs trapped in such a little body. Wow. And, I haven't felt this type of sleep deprivation since pulling all nighters in law school. Oh well. I didn't expect it to be the land of milk and honey 24/7.

8. My nieces are awesome. My nieces, brother, and sister-in-law surprised me last weekend and drove in from West Texas to see Abby. They couldn't wait any longer. My brother had a work deadline, and drove to Dallas with just a few hours sleep just so the family could spend time with Abby. My nieces were fantastic, and they spent almost every waking minute with Abby - playing with her, feeding her, taking her in the stroller and to the park, and giving her a bath. We had a great time. Here are a few pictures from their visit:

9. Is it OK to read Lolita while watching Dora the Explorer? Seriously. I missed my last book club gathering because I was picking up Abby in Guatemala, but my book club selected Lolita, of all books, as the choice. I have to read it in the next week, but I don't have a lot of free time. Abby loves Dora the Explorer and Go, Diego, Go on Nickelodeon. Can I steal some time to read this while we watch these shows :) . Shhhh...don't tell anyone. I still have to have my post placement home study visit in about 5-6 months.

10. Abby has too many clothes. Granted, most of them don't fit her, but I checked it the other day, and it is a bit embarrassing. She has a lot of generous friends and family members as well as a shopaholic mama who is addicted to buying baby pajamas. I just got frustrated with all the pajamas she had that had too many snaps. Abby squirms a lot during dressing time, and all the snaps sometimes get on my last nerve. So, I invested in a lot of two piece pajama sets. She looks so cute when she sleeps with her tooshie in the air!

Leaving On A Jet Plane...

2008-04-11T17:55:00.000-07:00

It seems like forever and a day since I posted anything. I have been home with Abby for over a week now but just haven't had the itch to write anything. Believe me, it is by no means an indication that things are not going well. Quite the contrary. Abby has transitioned from Guatemala to Dallas beautifully! For her, it has been seamless. She sleeps great, eats great, rarely cries, and laughs and smiles all the time. Just like she did in Guatemala when I had her for a week before we came home. Abby could not be a better baby. A better baby does not exist, at least for me. Her disposition is so fantastic -- she wasn't putting on a show for me in Guatemala. This is just who she is. A very happy, active, alert baby interested in everything and everyone.

Abby At Home Contemplating Her Next Move
We spent almost 13 hours traveling between Guatemala and Dallas to get home - most of the time spent waiting in airports and dealing with US customs/immigration officials. Abby was a trooper though. Not a peep out of her the ENTIRE TIME even when we were crammed in a 15 x 15 holding area waiting for her to be "processed" with no air circulating, no water, no bathrooms, and no where to sit. I was fit to be tied while we waited close to an hour for a power hungry customs agent to ask me one question. That was what constituting processing. It was not an experience I ever want to re-live, but it sure gave me insight into the way our immigration process operates. Sickening. I watched an agent bully an Indian woman in a wheelchair who was apparently illegally parked. I had to suppress the liberal in me to prevent myself from speaking out. I behaved selfishly, but I wanted to get the heck out of the holding area as quickly as possible. I was compliant so I could answer the silly question and move on. I had one connecting flight that we already missed, and I didn't want to miss the last flight to Dallas for the evening.

Speaking of flying, Abby loves it. Just loves it. This is a great sign, because I plan on traveling with Abby a lot, and I really hope she continues to think it rocks. She giggled and smiled during all the takeoffs and landings. She just loves motion, and the sound of the jet engines roaring just had her grinning from ear to ear. Maybe I should rename her Jet like John Travolta named his kid? Nah..just kidding.

Abby's First Flight - Guatemala to Houston

I am trying to take advantage of the time off from work to bond with Abby as much as possible before she goes to day care in June. I think after two weeks, she has some sense that I am the most important person in her life right now. She is really good with other people, but in a crowd, she is starting to look around and make sure I am within eyesight. Our days are pretty routine. We gear our days around her sleeping schedule for the most part. She takes two 1-2 hour naps a day and sleeps 10-12 hours at night. She absolutely LOVES the jumper her grandma bought her! At this point, I don't know what I would do without it.

We get out everyday to do errands, visit friends, and go to the park. There is a park near my house with swings, and other than the jumper, the swing is Abby's best friend. We take the stroller to the park and then Abby plays on the swings for awhile. This is the highlight of a normal day with a 7 month old. I am so thankful that she is so easy to please right now. She started crawling last week (April 8th) which prompted me to put up the safety gates on the stairs immediately....

Abby had her first US pediatrician appointment last week, and by all accounts, she is developing at a normal pace in all areas. Her doctor thought she looked great and was not concerned about her small size since her weight and head size are in correlation. She gained almost 1.5 lbs since her last doctor visit in Guatemala one month ago, which is a very good sign.

What have I learned in the two weeks since I have become Abby's mom? Well, I have a lot more confidence than I thought I did with regard to taking care of her. I have learned that she is an even more amazing baby than I first thought when I met her for the first time in February. I have learned that she will have no shortage of love in her life. The outpouring of support from my friends and family has been fantastic. I have learned that she can change my bad mood into a good mood in an instant. But, the most important lesson I have learned in the first two weeks is that you can never, ever, have too many diaper wipes!

Abby's Mom

2008-03-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

Although I am an independent person, I have been looking forward to my new job title more than ever. I am thrilled to call myself "Abby's Mom". We are in Guatemala City, a big city of 2.5 million people. Here is a view from our hotel room.

Guatemala City - Abby's Birth Place

I will fill you in on some of the highlights of the trip. It has been fantastic. My visa appointment with the US Embassy was on Friday, so late Thursday afternoon, Hugo who works for my adoption agency, met with me to make sure I had all the paperwork completed and in my possession that I would need for the visa interview. Despite making a list and checking it twice (actually I checked it about 5 times a day the week leading up to the appointment), I forgot my W-2 form!!! I had my tax return for 2007 but somehow I forgot my W-2 form. Hugo told me without it, my appointment would have to be rescheduled, and it could be 3 weeks out. I was in total panic mode. I collected myself and called my friend, Michele, to go to my house, rifle through my tax files, and find that darn W-2 form. Thankfully, she was able to get over there quickly, scan it and send it to me on email so I could print it out and take it to the Embassy. Crisis averted. I was really annoyed with myself for overlooking that, but in the end, we got to our appointment and everything went as planned.

It was basically like sitting in the DMV office for 2.5 hours in a small room with 40 other American families, their babies, and their entourages. We were crammed in there like sardines, but it was not too bad. We waited in one room for about an hour and then they called our name and told us to go to Door #10 waiting for the Wizard to call your name. You go in to this tiny room just a tad bigger than an airplane lavatory where the Wizard (Embassy official grunt) looks at my file and asked me a few silly questions like verifying random dates and asking me if I was going to change her name. After I answered them, the Wizard said he would stamp and approve Abby's visa. He then told me to go sit in the holding area and wait for someone else to call my name. About an 1.5 hours later, they called my name, and we went to a different window where a different Embassy grunt (but he was really nice) asked me so more questions like "Did I like my agency" and "Did I plan on readopting Abby in Texas" (answer is Yes..makes it easier to inherit stuff later for her and get a Texas birth certificate). I then had to take an oath that everything in my file was true and I was honest in my answers. After I said yes, he said "Congratulations", and we walked out of the Embassy as a family. Well, Hugo wasn't family but he did drive us back to the hotel with the promise to return with Abby's visa a few days later when it was ready for pick up at the Embassy. We commemorated the special occassion with Gerber Pears and Mangos and took a nap. Seriously, it felt great. Abby has already felt like my daughter for some time, but it was nice to clear this big final hurdle.

Abby in One of Her Favorite Poses - Crossing Her Legs

Abby and I (officially as mother and daughter)
We spend most of our days just hanging out at the hotel with Abby. As you might expect, everything is worked around her eating and sleeping schedule, but she is a very easy baby. She is just a pure delight. She sleeps 8-9 hours each night straight through. She rarely cries and when she does, it is very brief. She is starting to eat like a real champ. She loves all the foods I have tried. She wakes up smiling and smiles and laughs all day long almost. She is rarely irritable. She has the best disposition. All the other families here constantly come up to me and comment on her cuteness and her personality. She smiles with her whole face and it makes people feel good. Abby is definitely tiny compared to other babies her age, but she packs a lot of personality into that little body. My mom says she is very "goal oriented". Right now, that means she lunges and lurches to grab whatever is near by if she sets her mind on it. I hope later it means she will study as much as possible so she can get into Harvard :)

This trip, Abby LOVED the bath. Probably because we didn't hit her head accidentally on the faucet this time, and Grandma decided to jump in with Abby to make her feel more comfortable. I am not sure who enjoyed the bath more, Grams or Abby!

Abby In Bath and After Bath

There has only been one really tough, sad time for me on this trip. I almost don't want to write about it because it makes me sad, but I need to touch on it. Before our Embassy appointment on Friday, Gloria, Abby's foster mother, dropped Abby off on Thursday. Like our last visit a month ago, Gloria arrived 30 minutes prior to my agency representative, so we sat together waiting. There was not a whole lot of discussion, and I let Gloria feed Abby because even though I really wanted to be with her, I could tell Gloria was sad, and I knew it was only moments before I would have Abby in my life full time. I tried to give Gloria some space, so I just people watched in the hotel lobby. I looked over at Gloria a few minutes later feeding Abby, and she was sobbing uncontrollably. Tears were streaming down her face. It was horrific. I tried to comfort Gloria, but she could not stop crying. I never felt so singularly responsible for someone elses sadness. It was such an awful feeling to have the flip side of your happiness be pain for someone else. Intellectually, I know that Gloria will get over Abby soon, but in the moment, it was terrible. Even thinking about it brings me to tears. While Gloria and I do not share the same language, I really connected with her. She told me her son (who is 12) was crying for a few days because he was so attached to Abby. Once my agency representative, Claudia, arrived, it got a bit better. We went to the room and talked. Everytime I said something to Claudia, Claudia would translate, and once I could tell Gloria understood, Gloria came over and hugged me. I am going to send her letters and pictures of Abby as she grows up. I feel like Gloria was the first most important person in Abby's life (other than her birth mother), and I wish Guatemalan adoptions would continue so she could stay employed as a foster mother. I worry about her a lot now. She has no other income, and her husband passed away 3 years ago. Gloria was an outstanding foster mother to Abby. She is loving, kind, warm-hearted, and gentle. I know that is part of the reason that Abby is such a wonderful baby.

Gloria and Abby's Farewell Picture
This post is getting too long so I am not sure if anyone is still reading it, but a highlight of the trip was going to Antigua on Saturday. Antigua is the old colonial capital of Guatemala, and the architecture, great shops, restaurants, cobblestone streets, and overall charm of the city are truly special. Abby was a trooper. She loves the Baby Bjorn and I love having her as an appendage. We only got to see a little of Antigua but it was worthwhile.

Day Trip to Antigua

Not only was it a much needed retreat from this hotel in Guatemala City, but it helped my parenting confidence. I can now change her almost anywhere and feed her almost anywhere without worrying about it. She drank a bottle while driving along curvy roads and cobblestone streets, and it did not faze her one bit! She just really goes with the flow. This is good for me, and hopefully she will mellow me out a bit.

I make mistakes daily, but I am trying to learn from them. I have to use the stroller as a high chair in the hotel room when I feed her there. A few days ago, I was feeding her baby food and dropped the spoon on the floor. I left her in the stroller while I went to go get another spoon in my suitcase, and as I walked back to the stroller, I saw Abby being folded up like an accordion! Abby's idiotic mother forgot to lock the stroller all the way down, and Abby is so light she just got folded up. But, no harm, no foul. Abby did not make a peep, and then when I looked at her she started laughing!!

Abby After The Stroller Incident - Hardly Traumatized...
We are looking foward to coming home tomorrow. We get in late Tuesday night unless we miss our connecting flight in Houston which is a possibility because I have learned that Houston customs could be a lengthy process. Hopefully, we will make our connecting flight, but if not, we will catch the next one. Goodnight, Abby is already asleep...

Abby and Tigger

I'm As Ready As I'll Ever Be

2008-03-24T16:02:00.000-07:00

I'm ready for Abby. I hope she is ready for me.

Ever since I got my visa appointment two weeks ago, my life has been turned upside down trying to finish all the last minute things I needed to do to prepare for Abby's homecoming. Shopping, putting the crib together, hanging curtains, babyproofing the house, and more shopping. Not to mention the countless forms our government requires must be filled out in order to get her visa. My generous friends and family came through with fantastic gifts for Abby, but it didn't prevent me from sneakin' out to buy one more "perfect outfit". I have NOT exercised self-control at all! I got my last pictures and report on Abby last week, and she is filling her clothes out a bit more. At least it seems that Abby's foster mother, Gloria, doesn't have to pull her pants up to her chest like I did when I first put her in the outfit. Thankfully, a baby can pull off the pants to nipples look while the rest of us could not and should not.

Abby crossing her legs while she relaxes watching a telenova
Abby sitting up with just a little help from the pillows
Abby and her amazing smile. It gets me every time. Does that wear off at some point?
I have some pictures here of Abby's room. The room is pretty big, so it was hard to capture it all, but you get the gist. Apparently one of the most common questions the US Embassy personnel asks prospective adoptive parents (known as PAPs in the adoption community, but I don't like that acronym because I think gynecology when I see PAP, and that is not really where I want to be with my thoughts) is "Is the nursery ready?" Strange question if you ask me as if that is really not one of the most important things in the scheme of things, but hey, I'll play along. Yes, it is ready. Now please give me Abby's visa, and thank you very much.

I can honestly say I have never been this happy. I am not generally an unhappy person, but I don't walk around smiling for no reason. Not a good quality, but that's me, for better or worse. But, now I walk around smiling. It is so strange, but when I think of Abby (and I think about her almost all the time), I smile. I smile when I think of her smile. I smile when I think of her laugh. I smile when I think of her curly hair. I smile when I think of her curious nature. I smile when I think of her love of music. I smile when I think of her smell. I smile when I think of her touch. So, this wait is almost over for me, and I will see her in just a few days. It doesn't get any better than this.

Pink

2008-03-14T22:15:00.000-07:00

I'm Pink.

This is a GREAT thing. This means that I got my pink slip today from the US Embassy in Guatemala. I never thought I would be ecstatic over a "pink slip", but I am. The pink slip is a notice of my visa appointment on Friday, 3/28 at 8:00 AM with Abby. This is where our government interviews me and approves my adoption from the US standpoint. Abby will get her visa to come to the US a few days after the appointment, and we will be a family. I will re-adopt her when I come back to the US and change her name officially to Abby Elena. I can't believe I am at the end of the road, and Abby will be my daughter officially in just 2 weeks. It is surreal. I have never been this happy, and I can't wait to be with my daughter.

Some friends are having a baby shower for me tomorrow. It is so nice to be able to share this great news with friends and family. What a great way to start a weekend!

The One With The Hair

2008-03-06T07:40:00.000-08:00

My life changed forever on February 29th. See pictures above if you don't want to read why. 'nuf said, right?

My mom and I went to Guatemala City late last week to meet Abby for the first time. My in country agency representative, Claudia, and Abby's foster mother, Gloria, were supposed to drop Abby off with us at 9:30 AM. Anticipation for her visit was at an all-time high. I could not sleep for several days, but I didn't care. Claudia called around 8:30 and said that Abby was going to get her 2nd DNA sample taken that morning which would delay her arrival until 11:30 AM. I was glad about this because upon receipt of the the 2nd DNA sample results, the US Embassy would give me an appointment to finalize Abby's adoption, so it just meant I would be able to bring her home sooner. So, my mom and I tried to bide our time walking around the hotel, doing a litte shopping and conversing with other families who were visiting their children or finalizing their adoptions. About 10:45, I decided to go back to my room in case Claudia called because I didn't want to miss the call under any circumstances. As I walked through the lobby to the elevator bank to go back to my room, I saw a woman sitting on a couch in the lobby that looked familiar but I couldn't immediately place her face. I double backed to look at her again, and I realized it was Gloria, Abby's foster mom! I didn't see anyone with her, but as I approached her, I saw a small pink shape wrapped in a blanket on the couch. I peered over the shape, and it was Abby! She looked at me and gave me the best smile I have ever seen! I was so happy in the moment. I actually couldn't believe it was happening. I was overcome with emotion. I was only able to communicate a little with Gloria since my Spanish is barely adequate, but it was pretty easy for Gloria to figure out who I was by my reaction to seeing Abby. For 45 minutes while we waited for Claudia the translator to show up, my mom and I oohed and aahed over Abby, held her, and played with her. It was flat out incredible. Meeting Abby for the first time exceeded all my expectations. It could not have been more perfect if I had written a script for it.

Once Claudia arrived, we went up to our hotel room so we could have some privacy, and I asked all the pertinent questions about Abby's habits - eating, sleeping, etc. I was quickly able to confirm what I had seen in photos and DVDs, that Gloria is a fantastic foster mother and gives Abby excellent care. Gloria is a very calm, kind hearted and nurturing person, and I didn't need to understand Spanish to see that at all. Abby is fortunate to have such a great foster mother in Guatemala.

Gloria, Abby and I - First Meeting

Abby had a little cold during our visit, but she was in a great mood the entire time. Gloria said she had just started sleeping through the night the night before she was dropped off with us, and she slept through the night for 8-9 hours each of the three nights she was with us! Abby is a very happy baby. She has a great disposition and just smiles and laughs for no apparent reason. She does not like to sit still EVER and absolutely loves jumping up and down on people's laps when they hold her. She was very close to being able to sit up on her own and loved sitting between my ankles so I could support her and give her a feeling of independence.

Abby preparing to take off and jump on Grandma's lap

Abby sitting up between my ankles

The hotel we stayed at, the Marriott, has long catered to families adopting children from Guatemala. They made it much easier to parent on the fly than I expected, and it was nice being amongst other first time parents, first time international adoptive parents, etc. who could relate to the entire process of adopting a child from Guatemala. Abby was known around the hotel as "the one with the hair" meaning she was one of only a handful of Guatemalan children that has this amazing curly hair! After her bath (which she showed a great displeasure for), her hair curled up around her ears and she looked like the cutest little Mouseketeer!

There was a baby lounge at the hotel that had a lot of toys and activities to keep the kids occupied, and as expected, Abby absolutely loved the "Johnny Jump Up" which was a swing that hung from the rafter/ceiling that allowed her to bounce up and down in. Because she is so small, she couldn't reach the floor, but we had a great time helping her bounce, and Abby could have stayed there for hours. This toy is an absolute must for me in my home because it will keep Abby occupied when I need to do things that require two hands!

Abby and the Johnny Jump Up

I learned a lot on my trip. I learned that I have an even better mom than I thought. She was there for me while I adjusted to motherhood, when I was nervous, scared and uptight that Abby wasn't eating enough, wasn't getting an appropriate nap, etc. and let me boss her around without ever losing her cool. She loved showing Abby off to the other families and doing stroller wheelies with Abby on the hotel grounds. I learned that I am even luckier than I thought. I have a beautiful, happy, incredible little baby that I can't wait to have in my life full time. I learned that I have more maternal instincts than I thought. They kicked in right away from the moment I laid eyes on her and never stopped. I learned that I can do most things with one hand that I used to do with two hands. This will come in handy since Abby enjoys being held so much. I learned that I miss someone more than I ever have missed anyone in my entire life that I only met a few days ago. It felt like someone ripped my heart out of my chest when I saw her walking (well not walking really, being carried in the Baby Bjorn by Gloria) out my hotel room on Monday afternoon at 3:30 PM. I sobbed uncontrollably. Gloria started crying and told me not to worry, she would take great care of Abby. I told her (well, the translator told her) that I wasn't worried about Abby's care, I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to deal with this temporary separation. Abby, thankfully, was too young and was nonplussed by my meltdown. The last thing I heard as Abby was bopping out the door was Claudia saying "Vamanos" which means "let's get a move on" in Spanish so that the good-bye would be over. The only way I can get through this is because I know that I will be back to Guatemala in about a month when I am expected to get my embassy appointment to finalize the adoption. It cannot get her soon enough.

Abby in her hoody
Abby in her stroller saying "hug me". Ok, I think I will if you insist.

Circle of Life

2008-02-26T13:44:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, we buried my grandmother, and Friday, I will meet my daughter for the first time. What a week. My grandmother died just short of her 95th birthday and lived a long, healthy, and meaningful life. She was passionate and full of life until her heart just gave out. There was no suffering, no long drawn out illness, just a fairly peaceful exit to a life lived to the fullest. The last time I spoke with my grandmother, she told me Abby was beautiful and lucky to have me a a mom. She joked about not making it until her 95th birthday party that we had planned in April. She sounded tired by not depressed, and I am glad I had a recent, meaningful conversation with her before she passed away. I'll never forget her and will have a lot of memories of her to share with Abby one day.

My grandmother's funeral was a reason for the family to come together, and it made me appreciate even more what a great family I really have. I wish we weren't so scattered throughout the country because I really like spending time with them. They are so supportive of me and my adoption of Abby. It was great talking about her especially knowing I would be seeing her in just a few days. I saw my two youngest brothers who I hadn't seen in a few years. They have lived a nomadic lifestyle the past year or so traveling in South America, but they have turned into fine young men, and I am very proud of them.

I am ready for my visit trip. I MIGHT be able to leave the hotel if I get Abby's new revised birth certificate by the weekend with my name on it. Since the Guatemalan portion of my adoption is over with PGN approval, if I get a birth certicate with my name as the mother, legally I can take Abby outside of the hotel within Guatemala. I am not sure I will do it because I need to see if I can manage meeting her basic needs first, but it would be nice to have this option!

I'll post some new pics of the visit trip when I get back next week.

A Little Levity

2008-02-20T08:43:00.001-08:00

Just a cute cartoon I found today....

Life is Good

2008-02-17T16:26:00.000-08:00

I am still floating. I still can't believe I am out of PGN and that Abby is going to be home this spring, before the weather even gets warm again!! My agency confirmed that my case was registered before the 2/12 deadline, so I am in the home stretch of this entire process. All my focus has been on my upcoming visiti trip in less than two weeks, but now with this news about PGN approval, I have to get ready for my life to turn upside down (it's all good). I spent a few hours at Babies-R-Us today, and that place is quite overwhelming for the new mom-to-be in my opinion. I mean is it really necessary to have a choice of 8 gazillion bottle nipples? Jeez.... The only times I have been in that store before was to buy a gift for a baby shower, and that is not overwhelming at all. You go to the computer, print out your friend's baby registry and go find find the item your friend selected. There is no weighing one type vs. another, no wondering if you are going to make the "wrong" choice because your friend selected it, and all you are doing it picking it up and paying for it. Pretty easy. Not so much when you have to make choices on everything. I avoided most of the big decisions because I only went in to buy a few items for my upcoming trip. I know when I get back, I have to really stock up. Maybe it will be easier now that I have dipped my feet in a bit.

I got some new pics of Abby a few days ago to keep me occupied until I see her on the 29th. Her foster mother, Gloria, really seems to connect with Abby and has her dressed in a girlie-girl outfit.

She looks cute and has really started to fill out with her cute chubby cheeks!

My Water Broke (I Think)

2008-02-12T16:40:00.000-08:00

It is probably foolish to try and draw pregnancy analogies to an international adoption, but at a time when I am pretty much speechless, it is the best I can come up with. I found out yesterday that I got approved by PGN!! I feel like my water broke because I got a huge sign that a baby sighting is imminent...I just don't know the exact time...just soon. I am in total shock a day later. PGN is the equivalent of the Guatemalan Attorney General's Office and is supposed to be the last hurdle in Guatemala before I can finalize my adoption at the US Embassy. What is so shocking about this is that I got approved in PGN in 7 weeks!! My agency told me that my case was one of the fastest cases they have had in a long time. The fact that I did not get kicked out at least once like so many other cases do for minor or inconsequential reasons, is just GOOD LUCK. Plain and simple. There is no rhyme or reason to why my case was approved without any kickouts. Wow, what an amazing, thrilling surprise!! I was prepared to be kicked out to have the process start over within PGN at least once, maybe more which would put getting Abby late summer. What this means is that I might be picking up Abby FOR GOOD and taking her home at the end of March when she will only be 7 months old!! That is about 4-5 months earlier than expected!!

Let's be honest. I am not ready. Probably no amout of preparation is going to get me ready, but I will go into overdrive over the next 6 weeks to be as ready as I can be. There are things I just wasn't focusing on because I wasn't expecting to get her so young. This could not be a better problem to have, but it is time to find day care, get that crib set up, and buy all that age appropriate stuff that I didn't think I would be getting for her now. I feel like a mad woman about to jump out of my skin. I have never been so excited for anything, and nothing has really truly prepared me for the wave of emotions that I go through on a daily basis. I can literally cry happy tears just thinking of Abby and her beautiful smile no matter what I was doing 5 seconds before that. If I told you my body was physically aching to hold her, I would be telling you the truth. What a strange yet wonderful feeling it is.

I have to put a * on this PGN approval because there is still one legal issue hanging over my head. When the new law was passed and all "in process" cases like mine were to be grandfathered in under the old laws, there was one stipulation. You had to register your case with the newly created Central Authority, CNA. It seems silly to have to register with the new CNA when my case was filed in PGN before year end 2007, but it seemed like a minor, manageable requirement. Unfortunately, the CNA did not become fully operational until last week, and there are over 2000 cases to get registered by the deadline, today, 2/12. The CNA's original staff was fired because they were appointed by the previous Guatemalan president days before the new president, Colom, took over. Colom appointed his own people, the location of the CNA changed in mid stream, the form to register the cases changed, the CNA didn't have the funding to pay their employees and they didn't have adequate supplies to run the office at full steam. Reports of long lines of attorneys trying to register multiple cases at once were widespread. Many people in the same boat that I am got confirmation from their agencies that they were registered by the deadline today. I did NOT get that confirmation unfortunately, and the lawyer in me is very stressed about this.

My agency is confident that the deadline will be extended. My case was registered at the first CNA office a few weeks ago, but Guatemala is requiring that everyone re-register. The CNA did stay open on the weekends and has showed a willingness to work all the cases, but I wish I could share my agency's optimism that this will work itself out. I have to believe that because the alternative is too scary and painful. I am also hopeful that my PGN approval would effectively render this registration moot since the PGN is supposed to be the final authority on the Guatemalan side.

I am still going on my visit trip on the 28th even with this new development. If everything works out, I will be returning to Guatemala 2-4 weeks after the visit to pick Abby up and bring her home. Maybe she will remember me. That would be pretty cool.

What's next is getting Abby's birth certificate again, having a 2nd DNA sample taken to match Abby to her birth mother and then once the results come back, the US Embassy sends me a "pink slip" which is basically an email stating I have an appointment at the Embassy in Guatemala on a certain date where I show up with Abby and finalize the adoption. After that appointment, she is legally mine. I will have to re-adopt her again when I come home, but that will be a piece of cake compared to everything else!

Firsts.

2008-01-30T09:05:00.000-08:00

Firsts are special. First kiss. Richard Dukes circa 1977 after sharing a sweet delicious red apple. First "real" date. Steve Nivin, center of high school football team, circa 1983. The fact that he was the center of the football team is important because it was a Sadie Hawkins dance, and I had to foot the bill, including the pre-dance meal. If I had to do it over again, I would have asked someone from math club. First job. Minyards Grocery Store cashier circa 1983. This was a big transition time in the grocery store business going from manual push button to scanners. I was on the cutting edge of the new technology. The only thing better was the polyester forest green (with pumpkin orange piping no less )pantsuit I got to wear. What a fashion plate I was. First car. 1981 Ford Mustang. Best thing about it was the $96.14 car payment I had every month. Worst thing was everything else. What a piece. My last memory of the car was when I tried to abandon it on the North Dallas Tollway on my way to South Dallas to open up a new grocery store. It was a typical horrific Dallas summer with the temperature over 100 degrees, and my car breaks down on the toll road. I walked to the nearest gas station to get help (pre cell phone era) which was a few miles from where the car broke down. Oh, did I tell you? I was wearing my work outfit - my green polyester pantsuit. On my way, a group of men begin to chase me making cat calls after exiting a bus. I was scared and humiliated. I ended up near the airport and called my mom sobbing. She settled me down, picked me up but REFUSED to allow me abandon my car on the toll road so we called a tow truck.

So, this brings me to my most important first of all. First time being a parent. February 29, 2008. I don't feel like a parent yet because I really haven't done anything for Abby. She has been cared for by others since her birth. While I am totally in love with her, you have to physically be there to be a parent. But, visiting her next month counts. It is my "trial run" so to speak. While I have never looked more forward to anything in my life, I have the normal first time mom jitters. They are oozing out of every pore of my body. I have had a lot of experience with children and I am emotionally ready, but it is just different when you are IT. The primary caregiver, the one who has to discern the hungry cries from the sleepy cries from the cries for absolutely no reason whatsover. My main focus will be to bond as much as possible with Abby, but I a freaking out about making sure I will be able to meet her basic needs for the several days she is in my care! I did have a great chat with a woman yesterday who is a little further along in her adoption process but had visited her son in Guatemala a month ago. She gave me a lot of helpful tips including where the Guatemalan Walmart was where I could stock up on the basics (thanks, Gretchen). I think the prospect of doing all this for the first time in a foreign country already out of my comfort zone has added to the normal anxiety. I know I will do an adequate job, and with my mom to help, it should be OK. Thankfully, only my mom will see how I navigate through everything in my first few days of parenting. Maybe one day, 16+ years in the future, I'll be picking up Abby after her car breaks down, but I can tell you one thing..she won't ever have to wear a green polyester pant suit with orange piping! No kid should have to suffer that fate!

Where am I now in the process? Well, I have been in PGN for 5 weeks now. PGN typically kicks out almost 75% of cases. My agency prepared me for the reality, so I fully expect to be kicked out which then starts the review cycle in PGN over. It is customary to get kicked out sometime after 4-6 weeks in, and my caseworker confirmed yesterday that PGN has been kicking out ALL single applicants. So, I fully expect I will be no different. Singles can adopt under the old laws, and when they kick you out, they usually find something minor in your file that your attorney can easily correct. I hope to hear soon. Of course I don't want to be kicked out at all, but if I do, the sooner the issue can be corrected and I can get back in on the reviewer's desk. Some cases have multiple kickouts (previos). I am just hoping for the best.

Dateline NBC Story

2008-01-22T07:18:00.000-08:00

The big Dateline NBC Story on Guatemalan adoptions was on last Sunday night. I didn't want this story to air. Simply for selfish reasons of course because I knew I would be faced with questions from friends and family that I might not be able to adequately answer. What's new. I knew the story would focus on the dark side of Guatemalan adoptions, and yes, there is a dark side, but it is the minority of cases. This dark side is the main reason cited by adoption reform advocates who helped pass the new law in Guatemala in December. Whether the new law will ultimately improves the lives of children in Guatemala is debatable since it doesn't really address most of the root causes of why families give up their children for adoption in the first place. Most other Latin American countries are open to intercountry adoption in theory, but in reality, the social infrastructure is not in place to support it. That is the likely result in Guatemala as well for the future.

I hope everyone realizes that not all Guatemalan adoptions are corrupt. Most are not. Any system with a financial incentive and terrible law enforcement can lead to corruption. My agency has all the safeguards in place to ensure my adoption is being handled ethically and responsibly. My agency has never worked with any of the corrupt adoption facilitators discussed on the Dateline program and only works with licensed attorneys with excellent track records. Everything in my paperwork has made sense from the beginning of my process, and I have never for one moment thought that something didn't add up. There are few certainties in life, but I do have great confidence that my adoption is like thousands before mine -totally above board and ethical. I want to protect Abby as much as possible from any stigma that might be attached to her simply because she was adopted from Guatemala. Let's not perpetuate the stigma by painting too broad a brush here. It is terribly unfair to the children. By the time Abby is old enough to ask questions, I will take her through step by step how her adoption was handled from beginining to end. He birth mother acted knowingly and selflessly by giving Abby up for adoption, and I am forever grateful to her for giving me an opportunity to adopt her.

Abby @ 4 months

2008-01-16T07:05:00.000-08:00

In 6 weeks, I will get to see this beautiful smiling baby in person. I can't believe it. I am going to Guatemala to spend 4 days with Abby. I booked flights for my mom and I last night.

These are new pictures I got yesterday taken when Abby was 4 months old. She has a new foster mother, Gloria, who has a ton of experience fostering children. Abby is the only child in her care, and Abby has adjusted very well over the past month that she has been in Gloria's home. Gloria says she is very happy, rarely cries and is very social. And, she is really starting to grow at a faster rate. She is now almost 11 llbs although she is still a very tiny baby overall. The clothes Abby is wearing are the first items I purchased for her, and it is nice to see that they fit.

Abby and her new foster mother, Gloria

Only the luggage weight requirements will stop me from totally cramming my suitcase with clothes, toys, and essentials for Abby when I go to visit!

A Visit Trip to Guatemala

2008-01-15T10:17:00.000-08:00

My agency just gave me the great news.....I can take a visit trip to see Abby prior to my trip to Guatemala to finalize her adoption later this year (hopefully by summer)! This is unexpected fantastic news because many months ago my agency would not allow us to visit after there was an incident in the hotel (everything turned out OK). The way it works is that the foster mother and my agency representative in Guatemala will drop her off at my hotel and then pick her up the day I leave Guatemala. Since she is not legally my child until the adoption is finalized, there is a set of rules that I must abide by, but they are all very reasonable, so the rules are a NON issue for me. Most importantly, I am not allowed to leave the hotel grounds whatsoever and go shopping, sightseeing, etc. Since, at this point, all I care about is holding, touching, playing, and cuddling with Abby, staying put in the hotel is a perfect scenario. She will stay with me 24/7 so I get to really do the mom thing earlier than I expected even if it is just for a few days! I have to coordinate a schedule that works for me, my agency and the foster family, but I am looking to go in about 6-8 weeks from now. What an awesome gift to get to see Abby earlier than I anticipated! Grandma may go with me because she is too excited to keep contained anymore. This is her third grandchild (one of my brothers has two sweet, beautiful daughters who are equally excited about Abby), but you would think it was her first the way she is carrying on. But, I love it that she is so excited and supportive. Actually, my entire family without exception has been behind me 100%, so I am very fortunate.

There is not any movement on my case review at this point since it must first be registered with the new Central Authority, known as the CNA or Comision Nacional al Adopcions, before it can go back to the old Central Authority, PGN, for review and processing. It still has to be approved by PGN because my case is governed by the old Guatemalan adoption law. One of the few new requirements was to also register it with the CNA. The deadline for registering is not 1/31 anymore but 2/11, so if it is open for business next week, my Guatemalan attorney should be filing my paperwork. The sooner the better so that my file can be reviewed. Thankfully, I have the visit with Abby to look forward to :)

New Guatemalan Leadership

2008-01-14T11:48:00.000-08:00

Today is inaguaration day for Guatemala's new president - Alvaro Colom. Colom's VP is Rafael Espada who gave up his day job as a heart surgeon in Houston to try and give Guatemalans a better quality of life. Today, roughly 75% of Guatemalans live on less than $1/day. There is still too much corruption and gang activity throughout the country. Guatemala spent 36 years in a civil war (1960- 1996) which left over 200,000 people dead and 40,000 others who simply disappeared. Those of Mayan descent, about 1/2 the population of Guatemala, were hit hardest and suffered all sorts of discrimination at the hands of those in the ruling, elite class. Colom have been working for the past 10 years to bring hope Guatemalan refugees who mostly fled to Mexico after the civil war ended and was instrumental in working with the government and the UN to invest monies into the areas of Guatemala that were hit hardest by the war so that the refugees could start over. Colom has said his immediate focus will be on rural aid, public safety, and building more schools and public health faciilties.The problems that Guatemala faces are staggering. Colom can make a difference. Maybe not a lot in 4 years, but hopefully, he will start something that can continue, and as Abby grows up, the future for Guatemala will be much brighter.

New Central Authority in Guatemala Up and Running?

2008-01-13T11:35:00.000-08:00

The new Central Authority in Guatemala has an office now and all members have been sworn in. This is great news since all "in process" cases have to register with this agency BEFORE our cases can move forward in Guatemalan court. So, regardless of where my case was in the review process, my attorney in Guatemala must now register my case with this Central Authority. All indications are that the registration process should be announced and may begin this coming week. I am hopeful that my case will be registered without issue prior to the 1/31/08 deadline. There is some speculation that the deadline will be fluid due to the delay in getting the new Central Authority created, but hopefully, I will know more this week. My agency should be updating me as soon as they know.

Confusion Reigns Supreme

2008-01-09T06:33:00.000-08:00

Over the past week or so, confusion and uncertainity seems to be the dominant themes surrounding adoptions now that the 12/31/07 date has passed, and the new Guatemalan adoption law is supposed to be in effect. The situation is exacerbated by the fact that a new presidental regime takes over in Guatemala on January 14th. The new law stated that all in process cases (mine included) would follow the old law as long as the case is registered with the new Central Authority by January 31st. Problem is that the Central Authority doesn't exist yet. This is freaking a lot of people out. My feeling is that there will be a delay but ultimately the implementation issues surrounding this law will be worked out. I am hopeful that because I got into PGN (The PGN in Guatemala acts as the official adoption office in Guatemala. Paperwork is processed through the PGN and referrals are made through this department with the assistance of an attorney working through the PGN in Guatemala) prior to the end of the year that my case is currently being reviewed although it may not be ultimately approved until my case is registered with the new yet to be formed Central Authority. But, honestly, I really have no idea. Speculation is all over the map. I am trying to look at the big picture.. I want to bring home Abby as soon as I can, and delays suck no doubt about it. But, at the end of the day, AS LONG as I can bring her home, I will manage the wait and the stress surrounding the wait the best that I can. I actually found the perfect antidote to this - replace this stress with a different stress! I had a baby proofing expert look at my house yesterday because I was concerned about a 25 foot pony wall ( it is only 3 1/2 feet high) I have in my house on the 2nd floor. While he pretty much allayed my fears about the pony wall, he brought up a million other hazards in my house. Needless to say, I have a lot of work to do to get my house ready for Abby to come home. At least it makes me feel like I have a little control over things by spending my time on something I actually can fix right now!

My Daughter Looks Like George Bush...Not That There Is Anything Wrong With That

2008-01-03T11:44:00.000-08:00

In one picture, and one picture only, Abby looks like George W. Bush.

Wow, I said it. Of course she is cute and precious, but the fact remains that in this photo, she looks like him. I can't believe it. Who would've imagined? I think it that clueless vacant look that a 3 month old SHOULD have but a sitting US President should not.

A Banner Day

2007-12-21T15:49:00.000-08:00

This afternoon could not have been better. After a long exhausting few weeks of work, I got good news in spades. What a wonderful way to end a week before I go spend a few days in West Texas with family! First, my agency shared the news that they are "highly confident" based on all indications from the Guatemalan government, U.S. Department of State, U.S. Department of Homeland Security, U.S. Congress and UNICEF (all the players in intercountry adoptions) that Guatemalan adoption cases currently in-process will proceed to finalization under the current laws in effect when my adoption was started. There is a strong desire amongst all parties to get a clearly defined process (by which in-process cases may be completed) within the coming days. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I can focus on the "good stuff" full time now without worrying about all the things out of my control. I am practically giddy, and I don't really do giddy much.

Then, I got new pictures of Abby. Wow, what a doll! Don't take my word for it..see for yourself.

I also found out that Abby will be going to a new foster mom in the next few days. Because Guatemalan adoptions slowed down when my agency stopped taking referrals, one of the foster mothers with the most experience that my agency really says is great had an opening. I really appreciate what her foster mother for the last few months has done for Abby, and I hope Abby makes the adjustment without too many issues. I trust my agency, and if they believe Abby can benefit more by going to a new foster mother, that is fine with me.

Good News on December 11th...I Hope!

2007-12-20T07:51:00.000-08:00

All of the families with adoptions pending in Guatemala have been on pins and needles waiting for the new Guatemalan Adoption Law to be passed by the Guatemalan Congress. This legislation was necessary for Guatemala to comply with The Hague Convention on InterCountry Adoption which is an international treaty that governs intercountry adoptions. Not all countries have to abide by it (For example, Ethiopia does not), but if you do choose to, you have to set up laws in your country that are consistent with the Hague. There are a lot of different opinions on whether The Hague is good for children or not. I am not an expert by any means, but my opinion is that it has not done a good job protecting children around the world. I do not think it will be positive for future children from Guatemala. The main objection I have is that it is so ethno-centric. It is built on the fundamental belief that all children should be raised by parents from the same ethnic background where at all possible. That fundamental pillar translates into country specific laws that will discourage intercountry adoptions. When 75% of a country's citizens are living at or below poverty like in Guatemala, I think it is naiive and unrealistic to think that there is a large supply of Guatemalan families that can adopt children. I worry about where the children will go if Guatemala does not provide adequate foster/orphanage care for children in need. Today, the foster care system is totally private and not supported by the government at all.

Finally, on December 11, the new Guatemalan Adoption Law was approved by the Guatemalan Congress. What does this mean for me and my adoption of Abby specifically? It still depends on how "in process" cases are defined. But, I am very optimistic that I am far enough along in the process to be considered "in process" under any scenario. All that is required is that my case will need to be registered with the Central Authority in Guatemala by January 30th in order to continue under the laws in effect at the time they were started. My adoption is one of 50+ cases that my agency has in process in Guatemala, and they believe that ALL of us will be allowed to continue our adoption under the old rules.

Bottom line - I have mixed feelings. I think the law will slow or stop intercountry adoptions from Guatemala in the future, but the law may allow me to bring Abby home in 2008. For that reason alone, December 11th was a very good day. Emotions are still up and down because there are always questions about what something means, and it takes weeks/months to get answers, but all in all, I feel much more confident that things are going to work out.

Abby At 9 1/2 Weeks

2007-12-18T18:19:00.000-08:00

Ever since I got the first pictures and DVD of Abby in October, my mind and heart have gone into overdrive. I feel like I have so much to do and I haven't even really begun. I get overwhelmed and excited all at the same time. I have tried to stay on an even keel while the legal issues surrounding Guatemalan adoptions plays out. There always seems to be good news followed by bad news concerning whether or not Guatemala was going to pass a new law that dealt with adoptions in process in a fair and just manner. We all knew that the new adoption law would be passed, and while many experts think the new law will not be good for Guatemalan children going forward, it is difficult for me to focus on the big picture. I am selfish. While it will be a travesty if Guatemalan children are not afforded a good chance at a healthy and happy life if they are abandoned or relinquished by their birth parents, my single concern is making sure my adoption of Abby proceeds even when the new law is passed. As long as the new law provides that my adoption will finish and I will bring Abby home, I will be OK.

I grow more attached after my 1,000 viewing of my solitary DVD. I know that another DVD will be coming in November, but it can't get here soon enough. I tell myself not to buy too many things for Abby yet since I don't know what size she will be when I bring her home, but remembering how big all her clothes are on her in the pictures and DVD convinces me to go get her some clothes and send them to her foster mother. I go to Old Navy and get her about 7 outfits and send them to another family who is traveling to Guatemala the next week to pick up their baby (I am so jealous). My agency allows us to send a few items that can fit in a gallon ziplock bag which will be dropped off with agency staff to deliver to Abby's foster mom at the next staff visit.

The November pictures look great. Here they are:

A week later, I get the DVD, and as usual, my life shuts down while I view it over and over. Abby is about 2 lbs bigger and is very alert. She appears very healthy and is doing a great job of lifting her neck up and looking around. I think she is going to be a very curious kid. I hope so.

Abby At One Month

2007-12-18T08:25:00.000-08:00

One of the things that you have to come to terms with very quickly when adopting from another country is that you may not get all your questions answered. It is difficult to get comfortable with the not knowing. I am a very curious person by nature, and when it comes to Abby, I want to know everything I can about her and her background so that I can share it with her one day on her terms. I know that there will be times as she grows up that she will want to know things that I won't be able to answer about her birth parents and her cultural background. What I do know, first and foremost, is that I am grateful to her birth mother. I don't know the particular circumstances of why Abby was placed for adoption, but I know giving up a child for adoption is one of the most courageous and selfless acts a person can do if that person does not have the ability to raise a child in a healthy and happy environment because of their particular circumstances. I know that someone, Abby's birth mother, had to experience loss for me to be Abby's mom, and, for that, I will be eternally grateful to her birth mother. I don't have any information on Abby's birth father at all. I know this will be painful for Abby later, and that makes me sad to think about. Abby's birth mother is from a small town called Solola about 80 miles west of Guatemala City. It is located in the western highlands of Guatemala on the mountainside near Lake Atitlan. The majority of the population of Solola is made up of Kaqchikel Mayans, and the culture reflects a mixture of both Mayan and Spanish influences. I generally eschew labels, but I love the fact that Abby is Mayan. My hope is that she will be interested someday in learning about this wonderful culture and these wonderful peoples.

I am a big reader, and my adoption journey has added the usual suspects to my reading list - general parenting books, adoption parenting books, transracial adoption parenting books, etc. I am also trying to brush up on my high school Spanish so that I can communicate with Abby's foster mother when I go to Guatemala. I wrote the foster mother a letter when I sent Abby a package of clothes and used the Google translator feature. I really hope I told her how much I appreciated her taking care of Abby and not that I wanted to be her study partner in the library. You never know about those translator programs...but hopefully, she appreciated the effort and could understand it! I am reading a few books on Guatemalan history as well so I can be more educated about the beautiful country of Guatemala. I doubt Abby will ask me about the 36 year civil war right away, but you can be sure that if she does ask, I'll have some rudimentary knowledge of it. I feel it is an obligation for me to educate myself as much as possible, and I love to learn. This just gives me a great excuse to learn about something I know very little about. Once Abby gets here, it will be hard to spend time on this kind of thing, so I am trying to take advantage of the waiting time I have now to be "productive".

All the baby preparation takes a back seat anytime I get new pictures or a DVD of Abby. When I get them, it makes my whole day. My adoption agency has staff that work in Guatemala, and they visit the children that are in foster care so that they can see how the kids are doing, take pictures, interview the foster mother, etc. They then provide the pictures and a written snapshot of Abby's past month. The first report I got was when Abby was one month.

The report details her daily routine - when she eats, sleeps, and poops - along with an update on her developmental and physical milestones. The pictures and DVD are wonderful. I got the first smile at one month and I got to listen to her make noise and roll over. It might not sound like much, but to get any glimpse into her day while we are apart is a wonderful gift for me, and I love ever minute of it! Her foster mother, Sharon (she is in the pictures holding Abby), described Abby as a very small sweet baby who is very good and does not cry much. Sounds like a keeper to me!

The Best Day...So Far.

2007-12-17T08:32:00.000-08:00

Well, the dark cloud looming had a silver lining. Just as I was trying to come to terms with the fact that my adoption could be in a perpetual state of limbo, On 9/29/07, I got the call I had been waiting for for two months since I got on the waiting list. Yes, THAT CALL. My caseworker called me and said she had a beautiful baby girl that she was going to refer to me. She would be sending me pictures and medical information in the next few hours!! I couldn't log on to my computer fast enough as I spent the next few hours clicking "REFRESH" at least three thousand times. Finally, I got the pictures, opened them up and all of the stress immediately drained from my body. I never believed in love at first sight before, but in that split second, I became a believer. She was a tiny, beautiful, healthy looking 3.5 weeks old baby girl!

I shed a few tears of joy and started calling all of my friends and family immediately. This was the best news I had ever shared with anyone and I couldn't wait for everyone to see how adorable she was! I had already settled on a first name for her - Abby - but in Guatemala, the birth mother names the a baby and that is the name she goes by throughout the adoption process and in the Guatemalan court system. Her birth mother named her Maria Elena and she was born in Guatemala City, Guatemala at a maternity home on September 2, 2007. She was 5 lbs 8 0z and 18.5 inches long. She was turned over to foster care about 3 weeks later, and she began being cared for by a loving, young single foster mother named Sharon. Abby's foster mother lives with her parents and two sisters and cares for 4 children total. I was 99.9% sure I was going to accept the referral because Abby was exactly what I had dreamed of. She was perfect! I sent off her pictures and her medical information to a pediatrician who specializes in reviewing medical information from other countries and sent my Power of Attorney to be authenticated. The Power of Attorney (POA) is given to a Guatemalan attorney who actually handles my case for me in Guatemala and is hired by my adoption agency. A few weeks later, I accepted the referral, and by October 30, 2007, my POA was registered in Guatemalan court.

My agency spent a lot of time explaining the increased risk of accepting a referral since we were not positive what would happen if Guatemalan adoptions shut down on 12/31/07. We knew my adoption was months and months away from being complete (expected late summer, 2008), and we didn't know what would happen to everyone in process in the absence of any new law specifically mentioning how "in process" cases would be handled. I didn't think twice about the increased risk once I saw Abby's pictures. My heart was either going to be broken or it wasn't, but I wasn't going to end my adoption journey because of money, time or other factors. This may not be the right decision for everyone in a similar situation, but for me, it was a no-brainer once I saw her. She was real and I wasn't turning my back on her. I felt like it was my first big test of motherhood. I loved her and I wasn't letting go.

The Roller Coaster Ride Begins But Will It End?

2007-12-17T07:55:00.000-08:00

I decided to adopt a baby girl from Guatemala and began the process with an adoption agency March, 2007. Guatemala seemed like a great fit for a lot of reasons - babies are usually a bit younger than from other countries when the adoption is finalized, babies are placed in foster care instead of orphanages for the most part, close proximity to Texas, and the ease which I thought I could introduce and maintain a sense of cultural pride for my daughter. While the paperwork was mind boggling, this is the easy part of the process. This is the only part of the process I could control. So, I did all the paperwork at break neck speed. I wanted to get everything done - my home study, my dossier, background checks, fingerprinting, etc. - as quickly as possible so I could get on the waiting list for a baby girl. My agency would not put me on the waiting list until the dossier was completed, and that couldn't be completed until my home study was approved and the US Government (CIS 171 approval) gave me the thumbs up. Yes, you need to be very organized, but if you can stay on top of it, it is manageable. I also hired a dossier authentication service (KBS Dossiers) which was WORTH EVERY PENNY, and I highly recommend it for anyone who needs paperwork authenticated for intercountry adoptions. I felt like I was racing against the clock. My agency was very upfront about the possible changes in Guatemalan law that might impact adoptions. They always believed that as long as my adoption was "in process" at the time the law changed, it would still proceed. But then, in late September, the US State Department issued an ominous warning stating that as of 12/31/07, Guatemalan adoptions might not continue adding fuel to the fire. My cautious, cyncial side kept rearing its ugly head. What does "in process mean"? Do you mean to tell me that I have to rely on the US State Department (The US central authority for intercountry adoptions) to protect my best interests and that of my daughther-to-be? You must be kidding. This can't be. Surely, you jest. Nope, it was true, my adoption could be impacted by the agendas of the US Government, Guatemalan government, UNICEF, and a cast of other international actors with a voice in intercountry adoptions. My emotions were all over the place - anger, denial, shock, outrage, fear, betrayal. I felt betrayed most of all by my own government who approved my petition to adopt from Guatemala just a few months before this warning. It became clearer to me that my government didn't really care about whether my adoption along with the approximately 4,000 others in process at the time ever actually were completed. I didn't think they really cared whether we brought home our children or not. I took some comfort in words read on guatadopt.com along with statements from my agency. They both were optimistic that "in process" cases would be grandfathered in regardless of the new Guatemalan adoption law. This is what I had to cling to. A few trusted sources best guesses on what would happen. But, it was hope and it was all I had.

My Decision To Adopt

2007-12-17T07:24:00.000-08:00

The last thing I ever thought I would be doing was chronicling my adoption journey, but here I am, trying to make sense of the things that have happened over the past few months. I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. I was born in Atlanta in 1967..ok, I won't start that far back....

Like a lot of girls, I always knew I wanted to be a mom. That is about all I knew for sure. I never had visions of a wedding or being pregnant but I knew I would be a mom someday. Never was that belief tested so much as it has been over the past few years. The conventional approach - marriage and trying to have a baby - was not an option for me. I was single, nearing 40, and had "fertility issues". Where have you heard this story before? I know it sounds like a bad afterschool special, but the cliche was true in my case. My biological clock was ticking loudly and then ran out of batteries. Yes, I was sad for a few months when I realized that I was most likely not going to every carry a baby and have a baby biologically. I was sad because I took my fertility for granted and then felt like my body failed me. It failed me big time. But, like all difficult things in life, there was a positive to all this. It reinforced my desire to be a mother, no matter what. I started exploring adoption options, and I got really excited. I got excited because I knew I would be a mom. I knew it would take longer, but eventually, I would be a mom. That is all that mattered. I began contacting adoption agencies and looking at my options specifically to adopt internationally.