My Daughter Loves Dodgeball and Other Musings

To blog or not to blog. Hmmm..I have been debating that for the past few weeks. People keep asking me to update it. I want to. I really do. But, isn't this kind of boring? Well, I guess if you get bored, you can stop reading. Or, if I get too bored, I'll stop writing. I think I'll change it up a bit though. I'll still post a few pics because Abby is just too cute not to.

Here are some some things on my mind...

1. My daughter loves dodgeball. It's pretty funny because I absolutely loved it in grade school. I loved being able to catch the ball when someone threw it as hard as they could at me. I loved throwing that ball as hard as I could at someone in my class, and I loved the sound of the rubber hitting the person's body. I promise I am not a sadist, just really competitive at times. I don't think this makes me a bad person or parent. And, I was only throwing a soft fabric type ball at Abby's legs in a very gently manner, and she just squealed and squealed with delight!

Abby and the Fabric Ball (sent to her by friends Sam and Ezra)

2. My daughter loves soccer. This is great too because soccer is my sport and her small stature wouldn't be a factor. I played in college, so it would be really easy for me to do this with Abby if she continues to enjoy it. My mom and I rolled the same fabric ball at her feet, and she kicked it over and over squealing with delight!

3. My daughter hates plums. Good. I finally found the first food she doesn't eat. She is not a big eater of anything really, but she cried over the plums numerous times. It took me 3-4 times to figure out, hey, this baby does not like plums. I think my brain is on vacation while I am off work for a few months.

4. My daughter loves orange food. Carrots, Squash, Sweet Potatoes, and Tangerine Popsicles.

5. My daughter wants David Archuleta to win American Idol. Yes, I am watching American Idol, but I swear, it is only because Abby loves the music. Okay, that's a lie. I watched American Idol before I became a mom :) Anyway, David Archuleta is the angelic looking teenage boy who is a prepubescent girl's fantasy boyfriend. I'd have no problem if Abby wants to hang his picture on her bedroom wall. He is very cute and wholesome looking. She coos when he sings. She stops everything she is doing to watch him and does not move a muscle except her mouth so that she can coo. And, she doesn't do that when the other contestants sing.

6. My daughter loves the Jonah Brothers. See above - the David Archuleta factor in spades because there are three of them. A wholesome boy band made up of brothers. She became mesmerized by them during their appearance on Oprah. Abby is already seeking out the cute boys. I can't blame her. She has good taste at least.

7. My daughter is human. We were beginning to wonder because she never cried and slept through the night like clockwork every night I have been with her here and in Guatemala. That all changed this week when she got a cold. She has quite a set of lungs trapped in such a little body. Wow. And, I haven't felt this type of sleep deprivation since pulling all nighters in law school. Oh well. I didn't expect it to be the land of milk and honey 24/7.

8. My nieces are awesome. My nieces, brother, and sister-in-law surprised me last weekend and drove in from West Texas to see Abby. They couldn't wait any longer. My brother had a work deadline, and drove to Dallas with just a few hours sleep just so the family could spend time with Abby. My nieces were fantastic, and they spent almost every waking minute with Abby - playing with her, feeding her, taking her in the stroller and to the park, and giving her a bath. We had a great time. Here are a few pictures from their visit:

9. Is it OK to read Lolita while watching Dora the Explorer? Seriously. I missed my last book club gathering because I was picking up Abby in Guatemala, but my book club selected Lolita, of all books, as the choice. I have to read it in the next week, but I don't have a lot of free time. Abby loves Dora the Explorer and Go, Diego, Go on Nickelodeon. Can I steal some time to read this while we watch these shows :) . Shhhh...don't tell anyone. I still have to have my post placement home study visit in about 5-6 months.

10. Abby has too many clothes. Granted, most of them don't fit her, but I checked it the other day, and it is a bit embarrassing. She has a lot of generous friends and family members as well as a shopaholic mama who is addicted to buying baby pajamas. I just got frustrated with all the pajamas she had that had too many snaps. Abby squirms a lot during dressing time, and all the snaps sometimes get on my last nerve. So, I invested in a lot of two piece pajama sets. She looks so cute when she sleeps with her tooshie in the air!

Leaving On A Jet Plane...

It seems like forever and a day since I posted anything. I have been home with Abby for over a week now but just haven't had the itch to write anything. Believe me, it is by no means an indication that things are not going well. Quite the contrary. Abby has transitioned from Guatemala to Dallas beautifully! For her, it has been seamless. She sleeps great, eats great, rarely cries, and laughs and smiles all the time. Just like she did in Guatemala when I had her for a week before we came home. Abby could not be a better baby. A better baby does not exist, at least for me. Her disposition is so fantastic -- she wasn't putting on a show for me in Guatemala. This is just who she is. A very happy, active, alert baby interested in everything and everyone.

Abby At Home Contemplating Her Next Move
We spent almost 13 hours traveling between Guatemala and Dallas to get home - most of the time spent waiting in airports and dealing with US customs/immigration officials. Abby was a trooper though. Not a peep out of her the ENTIRE TIME even when we were crammed in a 15 x 15 holding area waiting for her to be "processed" with no air circulating, no water, no bathrooms, and no where to sit. I was fit to be tied while we waited close to an hour for a power hungry customs agent to ask me one question. That was what constituting processing. It was not an experience I ever want to re-live, but it sure gave me insight into the way our immigration process operates. Sickening. I watched an agent bully an Indian woman in a wheelchair who was apparently illegally parked. I had to suppress the liberal in me to prevent myself from speaking out. I behaved selfishly, but I wanted to get the heck out of the holding area as quickly as possible. I was compliant so I could answer the silly question and move on. I had one connecting flight that we already missed, and I didn't want to miss the last flight to Dallas for the evening.

Speaking of flying, Abby loves it. Just loves it. This is a great sign, because I plan on traveling with Abby a lot, and I really hope she continues to think it rocks. She giggled and smiled during all the takeoffs and landings. She just loves motion, and the sound of the jet engines roaring just had her grinning from ear to ear. Maybe I should rename her Jet like John Travolta named his kid? Nah..just kidding.

Abby's First Flight - Guatemala to Houston

I am trying to take advantage of the time off from work to bond with Abby as much as possible before she goes to day care in June. I think after two weeks, she has some sense that I am the most important person in her life right now. She is really good with other people, but in a crowd, she is starting to look around and make sure I am within eyesight. Our days are pretty routine. We gear our days around her sleeping schedule for the most part. She takes two 1-2 hour naps a day and sleeps 10-12 hours at night. She absolutely LOVES the jumper her grandma bought her! At this point, I don't know what I would do without it.


We get out everyday to do errands, visit friends, and go to the park. There is a park near my house with swings, and other than the jumper, the swing is Abby's best friend. We take the stroller to the park and then Abby plays on the swings for awhile. This is the highlight of a normal day with a 7 month old. I am so thankful that she is so easy to please right now. She started crawling last week (April 8th) which prompted me to put up the safety gates on the stairs immediately....

Abby had her first US pediatrician appointment last week, and by all accounts, she is developing at a normal pace in all areas. Her doctor thought she looked great and was not concerned about her small size since her weight and head size are in correlation. She gained almost 1.5 lbs since her last doctor visit in Guatemala one month ago, which is a very good sign.

What have I learned in the two weeks since I have become Abby's mom? Well, I have a lot more confidence than I thought I did with regard to taking care of her. I have learned that she is an even more amazing baby than I first thought when I met her for the first time in February. I have learned that she will have no shortage of love in her life. The outpouring of support from my friends and family has been fantastic. I have learned that she can change my bad mood into a good mood in an instant. But, the most important lesson I have learned in the first two weeks is that you can never, ever, have too many diaper wipes!

Abby's Mom

Although I am an independent person, I have been looking forward to my new job title more than ever. I am thrilled to call myself "Abby's Mom". We are in Guatemala City, a big city of 2.5 million people. Here is a view from our hotel room.

Guatemala City - Abby's Birth Place

I will fill you in on some of the highlights of the trip. It has been fantastic. My visa appointment with the US Embassy was on Friday, so late Thursday afternoon, Hugo who works for my adoption agency, met with me to make sure I had all the paperwork completed and in my possession that I would need for the visa interview. Despite making a list and checking it twice (actually I checked it about 5 times a day the week leading up to the appointment), I forgot my W-2 form!!! I had my tax return for 2007 but somehow I forgot my W-2 form. Hugo told me without it, my appointment would have to be rescheduled, and it could be 3 weeks out. I was in total panic mode. I collected myself and called my friend, Michele, to go to my house, rifle through my tax files, and find that darn W-2 form. Thankfully, she was able to get over there quickly, scan it and send it to me on email so I could print it out and take it to the Embassy. Crisis averted. I was really annoyed with myself for overlooking that, but in the end, we got to our appointment and everything went as planned.

It was basically like sitting in the DMV office for 2.5 hours in a small room with 40 other American families, their babies, and their entourages. We were crammed in there like sardines, but it was not too bad. We waited in one room for about an hour and then they called our name and told us to go to Door #10 waiting for the Wizard to call your name. You go in to this tiny room just a tad bigger than an airplane lavatory where the Wizard (Embassy official grunt) looks at my file and asked me a few silly questions like verifying random dates and asking me if I was going to change her name. After I answered them, the Wizard said he would stamp and approve Abby's visa. He then told me to go sit in the holding area and wait for someone else to call my name. About an 1.5 hours later, they called my name, and we went to a different window where a different Embassy grunt (but he was really nice) asked me so more questions like "Did I like my agency" and "Did I plan on readopting Abby in Texas" (answer is Yes..makes it easier to inherit stuff later for her and get a Texas birth certificate). I then had to take an oath that everything in my file was true and I was honest in my answers. After I said yes, he said "Congratulations", and we walked out of the Embassy as a family. Well, Hugo wasn't family but he did drive us back to the hotel with the promise to return with Abby's visa a few days later when it was ready for pick up at the Embassy. We commemorated the special occassion with Gerber Pears and Mangos and took a nap. Seriously, it felt great. Abby has already felt like my daughter for some time, but it was nice to clear this big final hurdle.

Abby in One of Her Favorite Poses - Crossing Her Legs

Abby and I (officially as mother and daughter)
We spend most of our days just hanging out at the hotel with Abby. As you might expect, everything is worked around her eating and sleeping schedule, but she is a very easy baby. She is just a pure delight. She sleeps 8-9 hours each night straight through. She rarely cries and when she does, it is very brief. She is starting to eat like a real champ. She loves all the foods I have tried. She wakes up smiling and smiles and laughs all day long almost. She is rarely irritable. She has the best disposition. All the other families here constantly come up to me and comment on her cuteness and her personality. She smiles with her whole face and it makes people feel good. Abby is definitely tiny compared to other babies her age, but she packs a lot of personality into that little body. My mom says she is very "goal oriented". Right now, that means she lunges and lurches to grab whatever is near by if she sets her mind on it. I hope later it means she will study as much as possible so she can get into Harvard :)

This trip, Abby LOVED the bath. Probably because we didn't hit her head accidentally on the faucet this time, and Grandma decided to jump in with Abby to make her feel more comfortable. I am not sure who enjoyed the bath more, Grams or Abby!

Abby In Bath and After Bath


There has only been one really tough, sad time for me on this trip. I almost don't want to write about it because it makes me sad, but I need to touch on it. Before our Embassy appointment on Friday, Gloria, Abby's foster mother, dropped Abby off on Thursday. Like our last visit a month ago, Gloria arrived 30 minutes prior to my agency representative, so we sat together waiting. There was not a whole lot of discussion, and I let Gloria feed Abby because even though I really wanted to be with her, I could tell Gloria was sad, and I knew it was only moments before I would have Abby in my life full time. I tried to give Gloria some space, so I just people watched in the hotel lobby. I looked over at Gloria a few minutes later feeding Abby, and she was sobbing uncontrollably. Tears were streaming down her face. It was horrific. I tried to comfort Gloria, but she could not stop crying. I never felt so singularly responsible for someone elses sadness. It was such an awful feeling to have the flip side of your happiness be pain for someone else. Intellectually, I know that Gloria will get over Abby soon, but in the moment, it was terrible. Even thinking about it brings me to tears. While Gloria and I do not share the same language, I really connected with her. She told me her son (who is 12) was crying for a few days because he was so attached to Abby. Once my agency representative, Claudia, arrived, it got a bit better. We went to the room and talked. Everytime I said something to Claudia, Claudia would translate, and once I could tell Gloria understood, Gloria came over and hugged me. I am going to send her letters and pictures of Abby as she grows up. I feel like Gloria was the first most important person in Abby's life (other than her birth mother), and I wish Guatemalan adoptions would continue so she could stay employed as a foster mother. I worry about her a lot now. She has no other income, and her husband passed away 3 years ago. Gloria was an outstanding foster mother to Abby. She is loving, kind, warm-hearted, and gentle. I know that is part of the reason that Abby is such a wonderful baby.


Gloria and Abby's Farewell Picture
This post is getting too long so I am not sure if anyone is still reading it, but a highlight of the trip was going to Antigua on Saturday. Antigua is the old colonial capital of Guatemala, and the architecture, great shops, restaurants, cobblestone streets, and overall charm of the city are truly special. Abby was a trooper. She loves the Baby Bjorn and I love having her as an appendage. We only got to see a little of Antigua but it was worthwhile.

Day Trip to Antigua



Not only was it a much needed retreat from this hotel in Guatemala City, but it helped my parenting confidence. I can now change her almost anywhere and feed her almost anywhere without worrying about it. She drank a bottle while driving along curvy roads and cobblestone streets, and it did not faze her one bit! She just really goes with the flow. This is good for me, and hopefully she will mellow me out a bit.

I make mistakes daily, but I am trying to learn from them. I have to use the stroller as a high chair in the hotel room when I feed her there. A few days ago, I was feeding her baby food and dropped the spoon on the floor. I left her in the stroller while I went to go get another spoon in my suitcase, and as I walked back to the stroller, I saw Abby being folded up like an accordion! Abby's idiotic mother forgot to lock the stroller all the way down, and Abby is so light she just got folded up. But, no harm, no foul. Abby did not make a peep, and then when I looked at her she started laughing!!

Abby After The Stroller Incident - Hardly Traumatized...
We are looking foward to coming home tomorrow. We get in late Tuesday night unless we miss our connecting flight in Houston which is a possibility because I have learned that Houston customs could be a lengthy process. Hopefully, we will make our connecting flight, but if not, we will catch the next one. Goodnight, Abby is already asleep...

Abby and Tigger

I'm As Ready As I'll Ever Be

I'm ready for Abby. I hope she is ready for me.

Ever since I got my visa appointment two weeks ago, my life has been turned upside down trying to finish all the last minute things I needed to do to prepare for Abby's homecoming. Shopping, putting the crib together, hanging curtains, babyproofing the house, and more shopping. Not to mention the countless forms our government requires must be filled out in order to get her visa. My generous friends and family came through with fantastic gifts for Abby, but it didn't prevent me from sneakin' out to buy one more "perfect outfit". I have NOT exercised self-control at all! I got my last pictures and report on Abby last week, and she is filling her clothes out a bit more. At least it seems that Abby's foster mother, Gloria, doesn't have to pull her pants up to her chest like I did when I first put her in the outfit. Thankfully, a baby can pull off the pants to nipples look while the rest of us could not and should not.

Abby crossing her legs while she relaxes watching a telenova
Abby sitting up with just a little help from the pillows
Abby and her amazing smile. It gets me every time. Does that wear off at some point?
I have some pictures here of Abby's room. The room is pretty big, so it was hard to capture it all, but you get the gist. Apparently one of the most common questions the US Embassy personnel asks prospective adoptive parents (known as PAPs in the adoption community, but I don't like that acronym because I think gynecology when I see PAP, and that is not really where I want to be with my thoughts) is "Is the nursery ready?" Strange question if you ask me as if that is really not one of the most important things in the scheme of things, but hey, I'll play along. Yes, it is ready. Now please give me Abby's visa, and thank you very much.






I can honestly say I have never been this happy. I am not generally an unhappy person, but I don't walk around smiling for no reason. Not a good quality, but that's me, for better or worse. But, now I walk around smiling. It is so strange, but when I think of Abby (and I think about her almost all the time), I smile. I smile when I think of her smile. I smile when I think of her laugh. I smile when I think of her curly hair. I smile when I think of her curious nature. I smile when I think of her love of music. I smile when I think of her smell. I smile when I think of her touch. So, this wait is almost over for me, and I will see her in just a few days. It doesn't get any better than this.

Pink

I'm Pink.

This is a GREAT thing. This means that I got my pink slip today from the US Embassy in Guatemala. I never thought I would be ecstatic over a "pink slip", but I am. The pink slip is a notice of my visa appointment on Friday, 3/28 at 8:00 AM with Abby. This is where our government interviews me and approves my adoption from the US standpoint. Abby will get her visa to come to the US a few days after the appointment, and we will be a family. I will re-adopt her when I come back to the US and change her name officially to Abby Elena. I can't believe I am at the end of the road, and Abby will be my daughter officially in just 2 weeks. It is surreal. I have never been this happy, and I can't wait to be with my daughter.

Some friends are having a baby shower for me tomorrow. It is so nice to be able to share this great news with friends and family. What a great way to start a weekend!

The One With The Hair

My life changed forever on February 29th. See pictures above if you don't want to read why. 'nuf said, right?

My mom and I went to Guatemala City late last week to meet Abby for the first time. My in country agency representative, Claudia, and Abby's foster mother, Gloria, were supposed to drop Abby off with us at 9:30 AM. Anticipation for her visit was at an all-time high. I could not sleep for several days, but I didn't care. Claudia called around 8:30 and said that Abby was going to get her 2nd DNA sample taken that morning which would delay her arrival until 11:30 AM. I was glad about this because upon receipt of the the 2nd DNA sample results, the US Embassy would give me an appointment to finalize Abby's adoption, so it just meant I would be able to bring her home sooner. So, my mom and I tried to bide our time walking around the hotel, doing a litte shopping and conversing with other families who were visiting their children or finalizing their adoptions. About 10:45, I decided to go back to my room in case Claudia called because I didn't want to miss the call under any circumstances. As I walked through the lobby to the elevator bank to go back to my room, I saw a woman sitting on a couch in the lobby that looked familiar but I couldn't immediately place her face. I double backed to look at her again, and I realized it was Gloria, Abby's foster mom! I didn't see anyone with her, but as I approached her, I saw a small pink shape wrapped in a blanket on the couch. I peered over the shape, and it was Abby! She looked at me and gave me the best smile I have ever seen! I was so happy in the moment. I actually couldn't believe it was happening. I was overcome with emotion. I was only able to communicate a little with Gloria since my Spanish is barely adequate, but it was pretty easy for Gloria to figure out who I was by my reaction to seeing Abby. For 45 minutes while we waited for Claudia the translator to show up, my mom and I oohed and aahed over Abby, held her, and played with her. It was flat out incredible. Meeting Abby for the first time exceeded all my expectations. It could not have been more perfect if I had written a script for it.

Once Claudia arrived, we went up to our hotel room so we could have some privacy, and I asked all the pertinent questions about Abby's habits - eating, sleeping, etc. I was quickly able to confirm what I had seen in photos and DVDs, that Gloria is a fantastic foster mother and gives Abby excellent care. Gloria is a very calm, kind hearted and nurturing person, and I didn't need to understand Spanish to see that at all. Abby is fortunate to have such a great foster mother in Guatemala.

Gloria, Abby and I - First Meeting



Abby had a little cold during our visit, but she was in a great mood the entire time. Gloria said she had just started sleeping through the night the night before she was dropped off with us, and she slept through the night for 8-9 hours each of the three nights she was with us! Abby is a very happy baby. She has a great disposition and just smiles and laughs for no apparent reason. She does not like to sit still EVER and absolutely loves jumping up and down on people's laps when they hold her. She was very close to being able to sit up on her own and loved sitting between my ankles so I could support her and give her a feeling of independence.

Abby preparing to take off and jump on Grandma's lap

Abby sitting up between my ankles

The hotel we stayed at, the Marriott, has long catered to families adopting children from Guatemala. They made it much easier to parent on the fly than I expected, and it was nice being amongst other first time parents, first time international adoptive parents, etc. who could relate to the entire process of adopting a child from Guatemala. Abby was known around the hotel as "the one with the hair" meaning she was one of only a handful of Guatemalan children that has this amazing curly hair! After her bath (which she showed a great displeasure for), her hair curled up around her ears and she looked like the cutest little Mouseketeer!



There was a baby lounge at the hotel that had a lot of toys and activities to keep the kids occupied, and as expected, Abby absolutely loved the "Johnny Jump Up" which was a swing that hung from the rafter/ceiling that allowed her to bounce up and down in. Because she is so small, she couldn't reach the floor, but we had a great time helping her bounce, and Abby could have stayed there for hours. This toy is an absolute must for me in my home because it will keep Abby occupied when I need to do things that require two hands!

Abby and the Johnny Jump Up

I learned a lot on my trip. I learned that I have an even better mom than I thought. She was there for me while I adjusted to motherhood, when I was nervous, scared and uptight that Abby wasn't eating enough, wasn't getting an appropriate nap, etc. and let me boss her around without ever losing her cool. She loved showing Abby off to the other families and doing stroller wheelies with Abby on the hotel grounds. I learned that I am even luckier than I thought. I have a beautiful, happy, incredible little baby that I can't wait to have in my life full time. I learned that I have more maternal instincts than I thought. They kicked in right away from the moment I laid eyes on her and never stopped. I learned that I can do most things with one hand that I used to do with two hands. This will come in handy since Abby enjoys being held so much. I learned that I miss someone more than I ever have missed anyone in my entire life that I only met a few days ago. It felt like someone ripped my heart out of my chest when I saw her walking (well not walking really, being carried in the Baby Bjorn by Gloria) out my hotel room on Monday afternoon at 3:30 PM. I sobbed uncontrollably. Gloria started crying and told me not to worry, she would take great care of Abby. I told her (well, the translator told her) that I wasn't worried about Abby's care, I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to deal with this temporary separation. Abby, thankfully, was too young and was nonplussed by my meltdown. The last thing I heard as Abby was bopping out the door was Claudia saying "Vamanos" which means "let's get a move on" in Spanish so that the good-bye would be over. The only way I can get through this is because I know that I will be back to Guatemala in about a month when I am expected to get my embassy appointment to finalize the adoption. It cannot get her soon enough.

Abby in her hoody
Abby in her stroller saying "hug me". Ok, I think I will if you insist.

Circle of Life

Yesterday, we buried my grandmother, and Friday, I will meet my daughter for the first time. What a week. My grandmother died just short of her 95th birthday and lived a long, healthy, and meaningful life. She was passionate and full of life until her heart just gave out. There was no suffering, no long drawn out illness, just a fairly peaceful exit to a life lived to the fullest. The last time I spoke with my grandmother, she told me Abby was beautiful and lucky to have me a a mom. She joked about not making it until her 95th birthday party that we had planned in April. She sounded tired by not depressed, and I am glad I had a recent, meaningful conversation with her before she passed away. I'll never forget her and will have a lot of memories of her to share with Abby one day.

My grandmother's funeral was a reason for the family to come together, and it made me appreciate even more what a great family I really have. I wish we weren't so scattered throughout the country because I really like spending time with them. They are so supportive of me and my adoption of Abby. It was great talking about her especially knowing I would be seeing her in just a few days. I saw my two youngest brothers who I hadn't seen in a few years. They have lived a nomadic lifestyle the past year or so traveling in South America, but they have turned into fine young men, and I am very proud of them.

I am ready for my visit trip. I MIGHT be able to leave the hotel if I get Abby's new revised birth certificate by the weekend with my name on it. Since the Guatemalan portion of my adoption is over with PGN approval, if I get a birth certicate with my name as the mother, legally I can take Abby outside of the hotel within Guatemala. I am not sure I will do it because I need to see if I can manage meeting her basic needs first, but it would be nice to have this option!

I'll post some new pics of the visit trip when I get back next week.